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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:24 pm
by Debora Fernandez Clemente_ 4H
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn’t put it down!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 3:11 pm
by kendal mccarthy
Here is one i found that sent me: Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:05 pm
by 405398682
Q: Why cylinders smarter than you?
A:Because they are graduated cylinder

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:27 pm
by Julieta Serobyan4D
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK

This one is the best

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:16 pm
by Oduwole 1E
A shopper walks into a supermarket and asks an employee,

Shopper: Would you happen to have any sodium hypobromite?

Employee: NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:31 pm
by Oduwole 1E
I'm out of chemistry jokes. I should really Zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:36 pm
by Oduwole 1E
The atom symbol for confusion:

Um

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:09 pm
by KatherineValdez_4B
This isn’t a serious question, but is Schrodinger’s equation related to Schrodingers cat from the Big Bang Theory?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:27 pm
by Venus_Hagan 2L
Don't trust atoms, they make up eveything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:26 pm
by Aman Sankineni 2L
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:51 pm
by Chetas Holagunda 3H
What's the dullest element?

Bohrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:04 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
All the good chemistry jokes Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:37 pm
by 305086803
How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Change your name to "et al".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:38 pm
by 305086803
Photons have mass?

I didnt know they were catholic!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:38 pm
by 305086803
What do you do with dead chemists? Ya barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:39 pm
by 305086803
Don't ask for chemistry jokes, because you'll never get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:39 pm
by 305086803
You're a 10... on the pH scale because you're basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 10:57 pm
by 005162520
Water droplets ask, "Hey oil! Wanna hang out?"
Oil responds "Well I can't mix with you guys."
Water exclaims, "Hydrophobe!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 10:59 pm
by 005162520
"Right there on the periodic table! Do you see it??"
- "Oh my GAWWD! I can't believe it!"
"It's the element of surprise"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:18 pm
by Liliana Aguas 3G
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?????????????????????




It was CoRnY.................. LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:19 pm
by Liliana Aguas 3G
Ok my last one was actually corny(hehe) so here's another:

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen???


NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:09 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?




Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:13 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What is HIJKLMNO?



H20!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:14 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?



2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:15 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:17 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?





Because she is a Female.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:22 pm
by Adelpha Chan 1B
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny that I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:24 pm
by Adelpha Chan 1B
Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

A: NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:40 pm
by Sunia Akaveka 4I
My understanding of chemistry. That's it. That's the joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 1:29 am
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
Schrödinger and Heisenberg are driving down the motorway when a cop pulls them over.
He walks up to the window and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but i know exactly where I was."
The cop, thinking that such a weird response deserves further investigation tells Heisenberg to open the boot of the car. He looks in and sees a dead cat.
"Do you know that there's a dead cat in here?' he shouts.
Schrödinger replies, "Well, I do now!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 11:39 am
by Chetas Holagunda 3H
What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation Anxiety!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2019 5:38 pm
by Rebecca Remple 1C
This is definitely the best type of Chemistry Lab :)
chem lab.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 10:50 am
by plopezcordon_4C
What did one photon say to the other?

I'm sick of your interference!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 11:22 am
by Jasmine Fendi 1D
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 3:15 pm
by nicole-2B
Jenna Kovsky 1I wrote:I heard Potassium and Oxygen went on a date....It went OK

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

My high school chemistry had the first joke up all year and it always made me laugh!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 3:16 pm
by nicole-2B
Adelpha Chan 1B wrote:Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

A: NaBrO.

This was such a good joke. Thanks for the laugh.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 7:09 pm
by Claire Grover 3G
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 7:21 pm
by Liliana Aguas 3G
In spirit of the topic we're learning:))

What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?





...... Foe-tons

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 10:51 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
"Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, a**hole!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists."

am I cool now?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 10:54 pm
by Brian J Cheng 1I
Here's a good one:

What is the chemical formula of coffee?

CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 1:32 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

getting this discussion points while laughing at all the other jokes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 2:55 pm
by KatherineValdez_4B
Chemistry jokes are SODIUM funny!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 2:57 pm
by SimranSangha4I
What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr'ed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 4:13 pm
by Kavee Dodampahala 4E
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 7:18 pm
by Ethan Low 1L
Question: How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Answer: Change your name to "et al".


'Ba dum tsssssst'


Hope everyone is having a good weekend and lets get through this course together! (:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:20 pm
by Oduwole 1E
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:22 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:23 pm
by Oduwole 1E
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.

The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?"

The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:24 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:26 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 10:02 pm
by kevinolvera1j
Using E=hv to find the frequency?

Nah bro, just Einstein checking your vibes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 10:06 pm
by Jade Hinds 2B
Are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you're Cu Te


lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 10:07 pm
by Jade Hinds 2B
QA: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 10:59 pm
by 005162520
What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 11:03 pm
by pJimenez3F
What did the other elements say to Hydrogen?

HAHA WHAT A LONER

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 11:11 pm
by Amy Xiao 1I
Why is Helium the best audience for a comedy show?

Because it always says He He He.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 11:12 pm
by Amy Xiao 1I
Have you seen the new James Bond movie?

The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 11:32 pm
by 005162520
Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:03 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
don't laugh too hard

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:04 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:20 am
by Ashley Fang 2G
Hahahah

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:22 am
by Ashley Fang 2G
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:39 am
by JOtomo1F
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:25 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:27 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer?
The bartender looks up and says, for you no charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:28 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
I told a good chemistry joke, but there was no reaction):

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:29 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
Why are chemists so good at solving problems?




They have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:30 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
Exothermic Reactions? I studied them before they were cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:57 pm
by Claire Grover 3G
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:22 pm
by nicole-2B
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 9:04 pm
by Melvin Reputana 1L
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 1:25 am
by Cassandra_1K
I don't trust atoms, I heard they make up everything...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:34 pm
by Amy Xiao 1I
Why are noble gases good at singing?

Because their resonance is the most stable!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:37 pm
by Amy Xiao 1I
Do you know any good jokes about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:08 pm
by Oduwole 1E
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:09 pm
by Oduwole 1E
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…..but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:09 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:10 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 6:13 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Why are chemists great for solving problems?

Because they always have a solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:10 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:11 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
“What do you do with a sick chemist?”
“If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:12 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me. That’s a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:13 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
A conversation between two atoms:
I think I’ve lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:48 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:48 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:01 pm
by ShastaB4C
D06B2E74-CF3D-4868-B5C2-A13CF4B6B1BA.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:23 pm
by 005162520
What did one ion say to the other?

I got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:55 pm
by NRodgers_1C
Where does an electron in the s block live?

An eS-state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:57 pm
by Liliana Aguas 3G
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?



He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:58 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 10:06 pm
by Natalie Benitez 1E
Q: Why didn't Na and Cl relationship workout?
A: Because they were salty together.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 10:07 pm
by Natalie Benitez 1E
Q: What's the best thing to learn about equilibrium?
A: Nothing changes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:10 pm
by plopezcordon_4C
Nice little picture of a joke I found

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:20 pm
by plopezcordon_4C
These cat jokes are my favorite

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:59 pm
by Naren_Ramesh_4F
I don't trust atoms, they make everything up.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2019 12:22 am
by zachary_nhem_4I
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 4:07 pm
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:02 pm
by nicole-2B
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:04 pm
by nicole-2B
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:49 pm
by Jared Khoo 1G
Me: Hey Siri, can you give me the formula for Nitric Acid?
Siri: NO
Me: ...