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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:53 pm
by Jared Khoo 1G
Don't throw sodium chloride around. It's a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:55 pm
by Jared Khoo 1G
OMG did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 6:47 pm
by nicole-2B
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:42 pm
by nicole-2B
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2019 11:53 pm
by TYun_1C
nicole-4d wrote:A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"

hahahhaha this one made me chuckle

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2019 9:53 pm
by kevinolvera1j
nice joke,
Helium Helium Helium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2019 10:06 pm
by faithkim1L
All the chemistry jokes argon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2019 10:43 pm
by Ixcel Guzman 4A
I asked my homie if he wanted to go to a party on Halloween and he said "Sodium Bromine Oxygen" :((((( because he had chem 14 A lecture on the next day.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:25 pm
by Chetas Holagunda 3H
How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 2:49 pm
by JOtomo1F
16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?

Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na Batman!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:15 pm
by kendal mccarthy
This is kind of a joke but my class and I made a periodic table with pictures of literal moles, like the animal, and gave it to my teacher for April fools in high school. Kinda funny she was dying laughing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:19 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
H20 is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:25 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
silver walks up to gold at the bar and says "AU, get out of here."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:10 pm
by 305086803
Two Chemists walk into a bar, one says to the bartender, “I’ll have a H20 please” the other chemist says to the bartender “I’ll have H20 too.” The second chemist dies. This is because the bartender misunderstood him and thought he said H202

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:11 pm
by 305086803
Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:11 pm
by 305086803
What's a pirates favourite amino acid?

Arrrrrrrginine

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:12 pm
by 305086803
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"

To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:12 pm
by 305086803
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:28 pm
by pavel1E
A. Do you wanna hear a Chemistry joke?

B. Na

A. Helium Helium Helium
(He He He)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:33 pm
by Venus_Hagan 2L
Did you hear about oxygen's date with potassium ??

It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:52 pm
by pavel1E
Whenever I try to tell a Chemistry joke to my deaf cousin there isn't a reaction. )=

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:57 pm
by pavel1E
I started calling my boyfriend Atom because he always made everything up when I asked who he was with late evenings.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:03 pm
by pavel1E
Haven't you heard?
Word on the block is that my chemistry jokes are Sodium good! He He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 12:39 pm
by Brian_Ho_2B
Carbon dioxide to his therapist: "It was a horrible experience. I had to travel up some human's disgusting, mucus riddled trachea. Life sucks."

*Therapist puts down his clipboard revealing that he is methane*: "Buddy, you think your life was hard? You're lucky to have traveled through a trachea instead."

Tall Girl: Try wearing size 13 nikes for men.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:15 am
by NRodgers_1C
What did the chemistry teacher say to deter his students from cheating during the test?

"I got my i-on you"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:29 pm
by Lauren Tindall
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:36 pm
by Baoying Li 1B
Once I told Chemistry a joke, there's no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:12 pm
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
A covalent bond yelled at an ionic bond - Didn't anyone ever teach you how to share??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:44 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: What kind of fish is made up of only 2 sodium atoms?

A: 2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:47 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium?

A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:26 pm
by GFolk_1D
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:34 pm
by GFolk_1D
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 11:34 pm
by Deena Doan 2F
So... when's the midterm?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 am
by emma brinton_3B
i try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:48 am
by Veronica_Lubera_2A
What did the chemical agent say?

My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 10:16 am
by Ayush Ray 1I
My midterm grade

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:30 pm
by Cassandra_1K
What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 2:36 pm
by nicole-2B
kevinolvera1j wrote:nice joke,
Helium Helium Helium

This made me hehehe!! haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:00 pm
by TYun_1C
Chemistry majors be like I got a chemistry community due this Friday

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:43 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:45 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
What should you do with a dead chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:45 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
What element is a girls best friend? Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:46 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
What is the most important chemistry rule? Never lick the spoon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:48 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
What did one titration say to one another? Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:09 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
I try to tell chemistry jokes...

but there is no reaction...

aha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:10 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically

aha...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 1:40 pm
by DarrenKim_3G
Group 1 Elements Be Like:

What If I...gave you my one valence electron...to form a complete octet...aha ha, just kidding...unless?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 5:34 pm
by Naren_Ramesh_4F
Salt is sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:19 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: What is "H I J K L M N O"?

A: H2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:21 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?

A: He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Q: What did silver say to gold at the bar?

A: "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm
by Oduwole 1E
I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:24 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:19 pm
by KatherineValdez_4B
He He He
(laughing gas)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:20 pm
by KatherineValdez_4B
Oduwole 1H wrote:I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

I love this!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:21 pm
by 005162520
I try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:52 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What is the chemical formula of coffee?






CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:53 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What did one charged atom say to the other?




I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:53 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What element is a girl's future best friend?




Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:54 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?






He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:54 pm
by Anna Wu 1H
What is the chemical formula for sea water?





CH2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:14 pm
by ngarcia
I told a chemistry joke...




there was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:21 pm
by ngarcia
Laughing Gas: He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:22 pm
by ngarcia
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?




Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:23 pm
by ngarcia
Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak?




Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:52 pm
by Brian J Cheng 1I
An excited electron in this sense may be deadly

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:18 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:20 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
What do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:34 am
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
Old Chemist One-Liner:
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:00 am
by GFolk_1D
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:44 pm
by Julieta Serobyan4D
What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:45 pm
by Julieta Serobyan4D
Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? A: Fear of utility bills.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:52 pm
by Julieta Serobyan4D
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:52 pm
by Julieta Serobyan4D
How did the chemist survive the famine? He subsisted on titrations

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:13 am
by Anna Wu 1H
Hey know any good jokes about Sodium?



Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:14 am
by Anna Wu 1H
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:14 am
by Anna Wu 1H
Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:15 am
by Anna Wu 1H
Are you a diatomic molecule? Because you attract nothing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:15 am
by Anna Wu 1H
Two atoms bump into each other.’I think I lost an electron.’ The other asks: ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies: ‘I’m positive.’

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:25 am
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
VSEPR jokes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:26 am
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
Q. How did the molecular spy introduce himself?
A. My name is Bond.. Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:18 pm
by Jocelyn Thorp 1A
Ayush Ray 1I wrote:My midterm grade


this is like the SI derived unit for frequency.

it hertz

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:08 pm
by nicole-2B
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:29 pm
by ZevMarx-Kahn3C
What kind of fish is salty?

2 Na!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:30 pm
by ZevMarx-Kahn3C
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:34 pm
by ZevMarx-Kahn3C
Wish I'd seen this one when we were still doing quantum...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:02 pm
by Salma Fawzi 4G
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a store.... The cashier says "OH SNaP!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:04 pm
by Salma Fawzi 4G
Students ask: Why can you never trust atoms?
Someone's response: Because they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:06 pm
by Salma Fawzi 4G
What sport was Avogadro best at?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:08 pm
by Salma Fawzi 4G
What did one charged atom say to the other.....
I got my ion you!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:43 pm
by Salma Fawzi 4G
An optimist sees the glass half full and a pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does a chemist see it?...
A chemist sees it completely full: half with liquid and half with air!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:43 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
Why should you go drinking with neutrons?
Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:45 pm
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. The bartender said, "OH SNaP!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:22 pm
by kendal mccarthy
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

~laboratory retreivers~

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:23 pm
by kendal mccarthy
How often do I tell chemistry jokes on here?

~periodically~

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:57 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:57 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:58 pm
by GEOVANNAO_3F
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.