CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:43 am**

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:44 am**

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:44 am**

We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am**

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am**

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am**

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:46 am**

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:46 am**

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:47 am**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

(that didn't come out well ): )

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 9:15 pm**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:02 pm**

Last night oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 9:58 am**

What kinds of dogs do chemists have??

Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 3:17 pm**

When you tell a chemistry joke and there are no reactions :(

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 3:38 pm**

I am definitely "(dien)" after that chemistry final!!!!

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:01 pm**

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:03 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:05 pm**

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:06 pm**

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:14 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:05 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:40 pm**

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:41 pm**

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:41 pm**

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Posted: **Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:55 pm**

What do you call a funny heme complex?

A meme complex :D

Posted: **Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:33 pm**

Posted: **Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:34 pm**

Posted: **Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:17 pm**

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 11:55 am**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0 K now.

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:21 pm**

Q: What is the best part about learning about equilibrium?

A: Nothing changes!

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:29 pm**

No Time to Die

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 7:04 pm**

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:08 pm**

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask how to pronounce the word “unionized”.

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:09 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

Posted: **Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:09 pm**

Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:59 am**

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:25 pm**

Get ready to laugh:

Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them till you get a reaction!

Q: Want to hear a joke about Sodium, Bromine, and Oxygen?
A: NaBrO

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:20 pm**

Elf 1: Why does Santa sound like -
Santa: He He He *squeaky voice af*
Elf 2: Oh, he's ingested some helium

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:26 pm**

Posted: **Wed Jan 15, 2020 8:38 pm**

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make everything up.

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:13 pm**

Which element is the coldest?

Brrryllium

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:44 pm**

What do you do to dead elements? You barium.

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:46 pm**

What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? -Radium

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:51 pm**

If Avogadro calls.... tell him to leave his number ;)

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:56 pm**

A standup comedian tried writing jokes about the periodic table, but realized he wasn’t quite in his element.

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:57 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 k?

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:58 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:59 pm**

Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

A: To reduce his carbon footprint.

Posted: **Mon Jan 20, 2020 4:37 pm**

Posted: **Thu Jan 23, 2020 6:27 pm**

Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

Posted: **Thu Jan 23, 2020 6:28 pm**

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Sat Jan 25, 2020 10:19 pm**

A good ol' cartoon

Posted: **Sat Jan 25, 2020 10:31 pm**

Because we all need radioactive decay in our lives

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 6:16 pm**

you can call me K because i don't change under pressure

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 6:17 pm**

You're so hot you could change an equilibrium constant

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:11 pm**

Sb is antimony on the periodic table and how I remember it is Susan B Anthony >:)

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:11 pm**

This is hard. All the funny chemistry jokes argon >:)

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:21 pm**

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:27 pm**

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:32 pm**

Who is Gibbs, and why is he giving out free energy?

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:22 pm**

For all my bilinguals out there:

Is Silicone the same in Spanish?
.
.
.
Si.

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:27 pm**

Be like a proton and stay positive, folks :)

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:50 pm**

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Posted: **Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:51 pm**

Did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:54 pm**

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:55 pm**

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 3:03 pm**

What should you do if noone laughs at your Chemistry joke.

Keep telling them until you get a reaction

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 5:15 pm**

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating?

OMg!

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 5:15 pm**

Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?

I hear he was 0k.

Posted: **Mon Jan 27, 2020 9:28 pm**

why do white bears dissolve in water?
because they are polar

Posted: **Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:06 pm**

Q: Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

A: Because it’s always pushing electrons around!

Posted: **Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:07 pm**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?

A: H2O cubed!

Posted: **Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:08 pm**

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?

A: H20

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:36 pm**

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:37 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:38 pm**

If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:39 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:41 pm**

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Posted: **Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:42 pm**

What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.

Posted: **Fri Jan 31, 2020 3:41 pm**

Why does Water hate the equator?

Because water is a polar molecule.

Posted: **Fri Jan 31, 2020 10:32 pm**

What atoms make up aspirin?
As P Ir In

Posted: **Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:48 pm**

Polar bears are unable to swim in water- they dissolve when they jump in.

Posted: **Sun Feb 02, 2020 11:37 pm**

I'm diene, but I'll keep triene !

Posted: **Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:52 pm**

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

Posted: **Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm**

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

Posted: **Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm**

I tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Posted: **Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:12 pm**

Only in the world of chemistry can a Pb & J sandwich kill you. Unless you're allergic. Then you're also dead.

Posted: **Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:30 pm**

Q: What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A: a POLAR bear!

Posted: **Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:31 pm**

Q: What did the photon say when it ran into the wall?

A: "Ow that hertz!"

Posted: **Sun Feb 09, 2020 10:28 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Feb 09, 2020 10:32 pm**

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base

Posted: **Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:49 pm**

https://www.relatably.com/m/img/light-memes/thumb.jpeg
You won't regret seeing this even though its a Chem14A joke

Posted: **Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:58 pm**

Carbon tries to befriend his two new roommates Nitrogen and Oxygen.
Unfortunately they didn't bond well together.

Posted: **Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:53 pm**

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg

Posted: **Tue Feb 11, 2020 9:18 pm**

An atom of U can be oriented in one state, but in the USA, U can be 4 states at once.

Posted: **Fri Feb 14, 2020 9:21 am**

I have developed such a weird love for chemistry jokes, I love this thread lol I'll try to add some every now and then, here's the first one!

Man, I hate when I tell a chemistry joke and I don't get a...REACTION!

This was horrible, I'm so sorry!! :((((

Posted: **Fri Feb 14, 2020 1:20 pm**

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?

A: Because they always have a solution!

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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