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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2020 8:32 pm
by 805383532
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they’d be alloys.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:09 am
by 305086803
"Close the window, you're letting the cold in"
"well... actually the second law of Thermodynamics states that heat goes out"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:09 am
by 305086803
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:10 am
by 305086803
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:10 am
by 305086803
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:11 am
by 305086803
Q: What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
A: HOH, HOH, HOH!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:11 am
by 305086803
An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:11 am
by 305086803
Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocados number.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:12 am
by 305086803
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:12 am
by 305086803
Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:13 am
by 305086803
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:10 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
oxygen went for a second date with potassium and
It went OK2!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:12 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:13 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:12 am
by Ashley Fang 2G
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 11:14 am
by Ashley Fang 2G
Do you have 11 protons?
Because you're sodium fine!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 6:39 pm
by Emily Burghart 1k
Chem jokes
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 8:44 pm
by JohannaPerezH2F
good luck on finals yall
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 3:39 pm
by Maika Ngoie 1B
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 3:58 pm
by Maika Ngoie 1B
me @Lavelle
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 4:56 pm
by Julia Holsinger_1A
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 10:57 pm
by Connor Ho 1B
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 2:14 pm
by Naji Sarsam 1F
As my last post for chemistry community ever:
Never trust an atom...
I've heard they make up everything...
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:21 am
by JosephineF
we're all gonna be this cool after we finish this final
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2020 3:58 pm
by JosephineF
How everyone is about to be with spring quarter online classes
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:44 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Man: I wish I was the Enzyme DNA Helicase.
Woman: Why?
Man: So I could unzip your genes.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:45 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:45 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:46 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Do you know a good chemistry joke?
No sorry, all of them argon
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:48 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.
He was 0k.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:48 am
by Alan Cornejo 1a
I’m reading a chemistry book about helium.
I can’t put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:09 am
by Julia Holsinger_1A
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 1:48 pm
by 805383532
I would tell you a joke about chemistry, but they Argon.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 1:49 pm
by 805383532
Someone threw sodium chloride at me. I’m still salty.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 1:51 pm
by 805383532
Atoms are hard to trust. I heard they make up everything...
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 9:30 pm
by Kaylee Sepulveda 4G
What happens when oxygen atoms get haircuts?
They donate their lone hairs :)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 9:36 pm
by Kaylee Sepulveda 4G
A few moles of lithium hexafluorophosphate were sentenced to five years in prison.
They were charged with a salt in battery. :)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:18 pm
by Oduwole 1E
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have H2O."
The other says, "Ill have H2O too."
The second chemist died.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 1:02 pm
by Ivan Tadeja 1G
Have you heard about that one chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down ;)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:15 pm
by Yailin Romo 4G
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:02 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:03 am
by Jaklin Astvatsatryan
Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:49 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Two molecules are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:51 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:23 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:23 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:24 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:24 pm
by Alan Cornejo 1a
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:43 pm
by 005290099
Q:What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:46 pm
by 005290099
Q:What helped the weak acid molecules go on strike?
A: They unionized.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:51 pm
by 005290099
What do you do with a dead chemist
You Barium!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:57 pm
by 005290099
Organic chemistry is hard, I'm having alkynes of trouble
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:14 pm
by Neha Gupta 2A
Why did fluorine, francium, chlorine, and cesium go to anger management class?
They had to work on being less reactive.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:22 pm
by sophie esherick 3H
I really want to be able write good jokes about the periodic table but I don't think I'll be in my element. I would try to come up with other good chem jokes but i'm pretty sure all the good ones argon already.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:19 pm
by Jaden Ji 2K
What type of fish is made out of two atoms? 2Na!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 12:04 am
by Sarah Huang 3A
Situation: Two chemists walk into Kemist Bar. They sit at the table and the bartender asks for their drinks. The first chemist asks for H2O, and the second chemist said "I'll have H2O, too!" The bartender came back with their drinks and the first chemist quenched thier thirst and went to the bathroom. When they came out, the chemist saw their partner dead on the table. What happened?
Answer: The bartender misinterpreted the second chemist's drink, thinking they said H2O2, which is Hydrogen Peroxide. The chemist drank it without looking, leading to their death. Sad stuff :(
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 12:11 am
by Sarah Huang 3A
Hydrogen: Hey Helium, mind sharing an electron, for old times sake? Y'know, since sharing is caring?
Helium: um...... no.
Hydrogen: Well that's not very noble of you.
I'm sorry, that may have been a terrible jokes xD
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:33 am
by Becca Nelson 3F
What do you do if nobody laughs at your chemistry jokes?
You wait for them to have a reaction!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 1:52 pm
by Allan Nguyen 2G
What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A polar bear
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 3:08 pm
by Nandhini Ekambaram 1L
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 3:13 pm
by Sunny Wu 3A
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" and he died.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:15 pm
by rachelhchem1I
How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?
Change your name to "et al".
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:08 pm
by Massimo_Capozza_1G
What do you call a clown in jail?
A Silicon!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:53 pm
by Jagveer 1I
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:55 pm
by Jagveer 1I
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:34 pm
by Christine Nguyen 3D
Don't trust atoms...They make up everything!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:50 pm
by Arnav Saud 2C
For new jokes,it's good to check this forum periodically.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:02 am
by Elena Chen 2E
My high school chem teacher showed us this meme and this is genuinely still how I remember which ion is which.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:30 am
by Darren1j
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK..
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:32 am
by Darren1j
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 12:04 pm
by Sara_Lim_2C
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:12 pm
by 505598869
Chemistry jokes are Na funny.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:07 am
by Anastasia Yulo 1C
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:41 am
by 805377003
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 12:35 pm
by Liam Bertrand 3
What's the dullest element?
Bohrium!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:20 pm
by Maddie Turk Disc 2J
Q: Why did the attacking army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy's base!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:21 pm
by Maddie Turk Disc 2J
We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:23 pm
by Lizbeth Garcia 1F
I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out. OMg
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 2:18 pm
by Micaela Estavillo
What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 2:18 pm
by Micaela Estavillo
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:42 pm
by vbarian27
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:42 pm
by vbarian27
Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:42 pm
by vbarian27
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:43 pm
by vbarian27
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:43 pm
by vbarian27
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:43 pm
by vbarian27
What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:50 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
Why did the attacking army use ACID weapons?
To neutralize the enemy BASE
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:51 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
I'd tell another chemistry joke but it looks like all the good ones ARGON
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:42 pm
by 305614361
Honestly, I don't have any chemistry jokes, so I will Boron back
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 10:57 am
by Becca Nelson 3F
What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
Golf... He always got a MOLE in one.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 11:11 am
by Emma Healy 2J
Haha good one!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2020 5:34 pm
by Megan ODonnell 3F
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2020 10:51 pm
by Dominic Benna 2E
What is HIJKLMNO?
H2O
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 4:47 pm
by Brandon Carris
Another joke!
Q: how do you treat a sick chemist!?
A: first you try helium, but if that doesn't work try curium, and if that doesn't work it looks like you gotta barium!
yay!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 11:30 pm
by Elena Chen 2E
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 11:40 pm
by lauren_tran_1L
what is batman's favorite element?
sodium! na na na na na na na na!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:39 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
I like chemistry jokes because they are funny. HeHeHe.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:41 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 10:53 am
by rachelhchem1I
Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because it is in the ground state.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 2:29 pm
by idella 1D
Glad to find that this forum exists, hopefully it will make me smile when chem midterms are around the corner :)
