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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:56 am
by Julia Stinnett 2N
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:53 pm
by KoSiOg
"What if i told you everything you know about chem is a lie"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:49 pm
by Yasmin Rizal 1C
wanna-hear-a-joke-about-element-116.jpg

(it's ununhexium, the old name for livermorium! :))

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 2:45 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:28 pm
by William_Yi_3B
Two people into a bar
one goes can I have H20
the other goes can i have H20 too

he dies...
heh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 6:50 pm
by David Sung 2H
I once told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 6:56 pm
by SarahTian3k
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 7:37 pm
by Abigail Foster 1K
Are you made up of Copper and Tellurium, because you are CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:53 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:45 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
Accurately portrays my love life

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:27 am
by AngelaWang_1F
Every dipole has its moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:44 am
by YsabelCheang1H
What do dipoles say in passing?

"Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:29 pm
by Abbeyj3I
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:59 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
I have many chemistry jokes. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:01 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
What do you call an acid with an attitude? An a-mean-oh-acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:40 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:43 pm
by 204751840 2E
Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:25 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
I love chemistry jokes, but I always get no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 7:38 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
If the formula for water is H2O
Then is the formula for an ice cube H2O Squared?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:25 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:01 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
Ctrl+C
Ctrl+V
The extent of cleverness on this page.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:07 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
What's the difference between chemistry and a hot girl?
I have a hot girl in my chemistry class but don't have chemistry with one.
#original

P.S. Ladies, this is just a joke, if I have chemistry with you, you are beautiful

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:13 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
I have many chemistry jokes... I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:26 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Do Not Trust Atoms!!
They Make Up Everything...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:53 am
by Anika_Desar_3N
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:56 am
by Luigivar 2F
Q: Why does a burger patty have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:50 am
by melissasandoval2O
me, drinking water: this water is so iconic
I would tell another chemistry joke, but all of my good ones argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:53 am
by GregoryPolyakov_1H
Why did the chemists lose an electron?

They weren't keeping an ion them!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:35 pm
by Claire Vandenberg 4L
Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?

A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:37 pm
by Tara_Hekmati_3B
Cation
Cat-i-on
noun, Chemistry
1. An ion with a paws-itive charge.
2. A very cute ion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 3:22 pm
by Lauren Wong 3K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 3:41 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
A small furry mammal walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 10^23. We can't serve a mole."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 4:27 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 5:57 pm
by rachel_john
Q: What is the molecular formula for Banana?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 9:28 pm
by Marisa_Woo_2G
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214x1023 pieces?

Guacamole! :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 9:36 pm
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
When the cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask you, tell them you don't how fast you were going, just where you were.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:14 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Q: Are there any chemistry jokes no one has told yet?
A: NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:41 pm
by sheilaho_1E
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:35 am
by Anna_Kim_2E
Haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:41 am
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:04 am
by Jennifer Ngo 1M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:46 am
by 804780590
Why do scientists like working with Ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:06 am
by JAC_2016
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:09 am
by Zara_Joshi_3L
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:47 am
by Julia_Gordon_2A
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:49 am
by Elon_Glouberman_4J
As the two polar bonds stared into each other's eyes, they soon began to share a moment. A dipole moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:25 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:54 pm
by Molika Soben_3J
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 2:06 pm
by caitlin_oberman_2G
What is a chemist's favorite type of plant?

A StoichiomeTREE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:03 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:22 pm
by 304751905
Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
BATMAAAN!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:25 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
Did you guys hear about the ligand who became a magician? He made his own TV show called "The Carbonato Effect".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:45 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:54 pm
by Alicia_Kwan_2H
Now that our midterm is over...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:56 pm
by Molly_McMillen_3J
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 4:22 pm
by Christopher Reed 1H
A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?" The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Happy Friday!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 4:51 pm
by giareyes_2B
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?

A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 6:51 pm
by Antonio_Zenteno_4E
Q:What group of elements are the most angelic?
A: the HALOgens

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 7:55 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
What did oxygen say to magnesium?

OMg!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:12 pm
by 904605949
Thought this was pretty funny, enjoy.

86071532fhfbi_sm.jpeg
86071532fhfbi_sm.jpeg (11.19 KiB) Viewed 8456 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:01 pm
by DanielaWong_2G
LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:21 pm
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Jokes of the Day!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:35 pm
by SaniShabgahi3N
Here are some chemistry pick up lines so you are prepared just in case an attractive person sits next to you during the chemistry lecture.

Do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're cute.

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium...because you're a total BaBe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:43 pm
by Kendall_Chaffin_3C
Do you have 11 protons because you're sodium fine!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:59 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
NaCl
------- The base is under a salt!
NaOh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:31 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:26 pm
by KimberlySalinas_2A
An electron walks into the bar and asks, "how much for a drink?" and the bartender says, "for you no charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:29 pm
by Fayt Sarreal 1G
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
.
.
.
.
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:41 am
by Eva_Wetzel_3K
Q: Why did the Chem student miss a quiz question about positively charged atoms?

A: His tutor had poor communication.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:47 am
by Melissa Ledesma 2B
hmm...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 1:01 am
by JulieLy_3C
Most people find chemistry jokes funny.
I find them prephosphorous.

Chem Joke

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 2:01 am
by jillianduffield_2D
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 2:59 am
by Minh_Le_3I
what-kind-of-fish-is-made-out-of-2-sodium-atoms.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:39 am
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
training-education-student-education-educated-learning-school-29601701_low.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:59 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 1:35 pm
by Abbeyj3I
Got mole problem? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 4:11 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
Someone gave me an extra electron, and I complained.
My friend told me to stop being so negative.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 4:49 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
A hug without u is like Mercury.

Hg.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:03 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
What is the chemical formula for a banana???

Answer: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:06 pm
by Alexia_Vanegas_1G
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:09 pm
by Alexia_Vanegas_1G
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:05 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:15 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:09 pm
by Yamilex Velgara 2I
kitty joke.jpg
if anyone is into Rihanna

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:15 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Me: What do you call a situation with one love interest and four suitors? ... A love tetrahedral! XD
My friend: I zinc you need to stop. -.-

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:24 pm
by emilyclause
What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A chemistree.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:34 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
think like a proton and stay positive:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 9:32 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 10:21 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
Q:Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A:They're cheaper than day rates.

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:36 pm
by NicholasKillmeier3K
Sorry ladies, I only date carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:54 pm
by lena1217
Q: What is a Chemist's favorite type of tree?
A: A stoichiome-tree

Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?
A: Guacamole

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:24 am
by 904827101
a"noble" piece of art

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:01 pm
by Abigail_Low_1A
what do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:41 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:45 pm
by Austin_Saephan_1B
Why did the chemist get thrown in prison?

He got charged with a-salt-and-battery!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:29 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
When you're hungry but still thinking about chem...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:38 pm
by Catherine_L_1C
What did the orbital think of the chemistry homework?
He thought it was easy pz!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:40 pm
by Isayan_Natalie_3L
A head start for Valentine's Day!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:40 pm
by Mahta Marefat 1I
If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:48 pm
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
This chemistry joke is sodium funny!!!