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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:34 am
by 505352202
Logan Wiedemann 3J wrote:Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

Lose and electron? Gotta keep an ion it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 4:43 pm
by 805377003
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 4:44 pm
by 805377003
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 4:45 pm
by 805377003
Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 4:56 pm
by Janna Shakiba
Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date...OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 5:08 pm
by Janna Shakiba
Two chemists go to a bar. The bartender asks them for their order. The first chemist says "I'll have H20," and the second chemist says "I'll have H20 too!" The bartender makes them their drinks and the second chemist drops dead. The first chemist accuses the bartender of poisoning him.

The bartender replies, "What?! You ordered one H20 and one H202!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:00 pm
by vbarian27
What did the other elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:01 pm
by vbarian27
That joke was sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:01 pm
by vbarian27
I slapped my neon that joke!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:02 pm
by vbarian27
Water says to oil, wanna hang out! Oil says, he can't! Water then yells at oil, hydrophobe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:03 pm
by vbarian27
Chemistry is Fluorine Uranium Nitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:52 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:52 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:55 pm
by Taha 2D
Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium
Me: 0mg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:55 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 6:58 pm
by Zainab Jamali 1H
I would post another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 7:21 pm
by Emma Healy 2J
Are you a CATion? Because you're always so PAWsitive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 8:03 pm
by 305614361
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 8:06 pm
by Quinton Sprague 1A
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2020 8:11 pm
by Melanie Lin 3E
What do you do with a dead chemist?
.
.
.
Barium :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2020 12:49 am
by AliAsh 1H
I tried to think of an original chem joke, but I cant Zn of one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2020 9:49 am
by Darren1j
The kids were mad at their teacher because they wanted to know why they're answer was incorrect. The chemistry teacher replied, " I am a chem teacher, if I don't have a solution, I'll make one up!."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2020 9:51 am
by Darren1j
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu Te

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2020 4:48 pm
by Becca Nelson 3F
I tell a lot of chem jokes, but I never get a reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 3:59 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:00 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:00 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:33 pm
by Claudia_Danysh_2B
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the bar?

A: Because he got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:09 pm
by Ethan Laureano 3H
I'm not sure if this was put already but it is my favorite chemistry joke.

"If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:21 pm
by John_Tran_3J
Man: Are there any good chemistry jokes out there?
Me: I don't zinc so?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2020 1:23 am
by Jagveer 1I
What should you do is no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2020 11:05 am
by alebenavides
two chemists go into a bar. the first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." the second one says "I think ill have an H2O too"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2020 6:12 pm
by Jalaia Jackson 2G
What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?
-Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2020 6:15 pm
by Joseph_Armani_3K
I like talking to particles, but sometimes they just wave, and it gets really annoying.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2020 11:15 pm
by Shana Patel 1C
Chemistry teacher - What is the chemical formula of water?
Student - HIJKLMNO
Chemistry teacher - What are you talking about??
Student - Yesterday you said it was H to O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:40 am
by Moura Girgis 1F
I see that everyone is making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:53 am
by Kaili Valenzuela 2B
I asked the guy siting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite...
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 5:47 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 5:52 pm
by Jonathan3B
Q:Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A:Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 6:23 pm
by Taha 2D
Why should you never trust atoms??

because they make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 8:50 pm
by Jade Lastra 3B
Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 10:05 pm
by 305614361
Enjoy the Jokes:

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:29 pm
by AliAsh 1H
I ain't never seen two metals forming an ionic bond. its always one of em gotta be an ugly nonmetal

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:48 pm
by Jacob Schwarz-Discussion 3I
What did one ion say to the other?





I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:51 pm
by Mehreen 3I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:59 pm
by Day Preciado 1H
Y'all make my day!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2020 12:12 pm
by LexyDenaburg_3A
What's the show cesium and Iodine love watching?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2020 5:24 pm
by isha dis3d
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2020 5:35 pm
by Anya Holbrook 1E
Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:42 am
by Khushi_Gupta_1A
Q: Why can’t you believe anything atoms say?
A: They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 11:09 am
by Darren1j
have you heard the new remix of girls just want to have fun? It goes something like "Hydrogens' just want to have FON..."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:05 pm
by Nicolette Simoni 3L
What did the Chemistry professor say to the students wanting to ace chemistry?

Keep your ION the prize!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:42 pm
by Nicolette Simoni 3L
What did the organic compound say when it discovered it could be used as a fertilizer?

UREAka!


(thank you sapling for the inspiration)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 10:51 am
by Nicolette Simoni 3L
What did the F atom say to the P atom after they ate a whole bowl of popcorn?

Get some flossforus!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:42 am
by Taylor K 2D
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:44 am
by Taylor K 2D
What did silver say to gold at the bar?

"Ay you (Au), get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 3:37 pm
by isha dis3d
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2020 6:01 pm
by Vivian Chang 3L
"Have you heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out?"

" ... O Mg"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2020 8:56 pm
by NayeliPlayas_1L
Why are Chemists so great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2020 9:01 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
Anyone know any jokes about Sodium?

Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2020 12:38 pm
by Kaili Valenzuela 2B
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
"OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2020 1:39 pm
by Zainab Jamali 1H
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light." :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2020 1:43 pm
by Zainab Jamali 1H
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2020 8:48 pm
by Shana Patel 1C
All the good chemistry jokes ARGON?
I don't ZINC so!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:50 am
by Jillian Labador 3E
I ain't never seen two sigma bonds. Always one of them gotta be a pi bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:35 am
by Joanne Yuh 3I
Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:35 am
by Joanne Yuh 3I
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 10:36 am
by 505598869
I think my hopes of getting an A in this class Argon at this point.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 10:38 am
by 505598869
I ain't never seen two electrons with the same 4 quantum numbers. Always one of them gotta be different.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:12 pm
by Shannon Moore 2L
I ain't never seen two resonance structures with all the bonds in the same place. It's always one of em gotta be different.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:14 pm
by Claudia_Danysh_2B
I don't trust atoms...I heard that they make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:15 pm
by Claudia_Danysh_2B
I would make a chemistry joke, but I heard the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:16 pm
by Quinton Sprague 1A
Chem Community Joke.jpeg
Chem Community Joke.jpeg (10.48 KiB) Viewed 814 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:19 pm
by idella 1D
what did the other elements say to hydrogen?
what a loner

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:19 pm
by idella 1D
what type of dogs do chemists have? laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:47 pm
by StephanieGrigorian2J
Anyone know any good jokes about sodium?

Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:51 pm
by Nadya Higgins 3F
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 6:53 pm
by 305614361
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium
A: It went OK

Q: Why can you never trust atoms
A: They make up everything!

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:16 pm
by Michelle Nguyen 3F
Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:03 pm
by LexyDenaburg_3A
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:05 pm
by Alison Perkins 2B
What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:05 pm
by Alison Perkins 2B
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:06 pm
by Becca Nelson 3F
When do I tell bad chem jokes?

Only periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:10 pm
by 705340227
Me: Do you want a banana?
You: No.
Me: K.

(bananas have a lot of potassium and the symbol for potassium is K)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:33 pm
by Jade Lastra 3B
What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:04 pm
by Daria Obukhova 2B
What did the molecule say to the atom after he got in trouble?

I’ve got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:31 pm
by Elena Chen 2E
unnamed.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:47 pm
by vbarian27
Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:47 pm
by vbarian27
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:48 pm
by vbarian27
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:54 pm
by AdilaAhmed3I
How do Mr. and Mrs. Claus introduce their son?

"This is Arsenic"

(arsenic - our son Nick)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:05 am
by Sarah Huang 3A
Why did the Wicked Witch of the West dissolve upon contact with water?

Because she was hella salty.


(Ionic bonds dissolve in water...:) )
(You may sue me later)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:37 am
by Kelly Singh
Why should you go drinking with neutrons?

When you go, there's no charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:38 am
by Kelly Singh
Why did Avogadro love golf?

He always got a MOLE in one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:39 am
by Kelly Singh
705324760 wrote:Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.


I laughed at this, thank you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 12:43 pm
by Arti_Patel_3H
3-chemistry-periodic-table-chemistry-jokes-elements-gift-haselshirt.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 5:04 pm
by Savana Maxfield 3F
For those already in the Christmas spirit:

What do Cobalt and Aluminum get for Christmas?
CoAl

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 9:47 pm
by Arti_Patel_3H
I only use Sulfur (S), Argon (Ar), Calcium (Ca), and Samarium (Sm) [SArCaSm] periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:55 pm
by Emily_Stenzler_2H
Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Chemist: The class contains
50% H2O (l)
39% N2 (g)
10.5% O2 (g)
0.44% Ar (g)
0.06 % CO2 (g)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 11:39 pm
by Moura Girgis 1F
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2