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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 4:24 am
by Khushi_Gupta_1A
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 3:29 pm
by Courtney Situ 2B
I wouldn't say this is a joke, but I remember thinking it was kinda funny so I just wanted to share a chem experience! When I was first learning nomenclature in my chemistry class, the teacher joked that our local lake was full of dihydrogen monoxide. My whole class started saying things like "Dihydrogen monoxide? Isn't that poisonous? I've heard of that in the news once." Then she retaught that section.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 5:31 pm
by alebenavides
what should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
keep telling them until you get a reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 5:31 pm
by alebenavides
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table.. but I realized I wasn't quite in my element

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:14 am
by isha dis3d
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2020 9:59 pm
by Emily_Stenzler_2H
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:21 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says "no thanks. I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:22 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
Did you hear about the guy who was cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:23 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
Why are chemists good at solving problems? They have all the solutions

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:10 pm
by Becca Nelson 3F
What do you do with a dead chemist...

Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:36 pm
by Claudia_Danysh_2B
I try to tell chemistry jokes, but sometimes there's no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:37 pm
by Claudia_Danysh_2B
Want to hear a joke about element 116? Uuh...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 2:25 pm
by Vanessa Perez
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na

get it? (tuna)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 7:18 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 7:19 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:38 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
I'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:39 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:40 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:40 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:46 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2020 10:41 am
by Kelly Singh
Why did the noble gas cry?

His friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2020 12:09 pm
by Namratha Gujje
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 12:44 am
by Jalaia Jackson 2G
Why are chemists so great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions.

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 12:58 am
by Summer_Corona 3L
What show do Cesium and Iodine love to watch together?
CsI

(I hope no one has recently posted this joke)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 4:54 pm
by 305614361
Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Q: Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 5:02 pm
by tholz11
i can only tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon )-:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 5:54 pm
by idella 1D
Why shouldn't you drink water while studying?

It decreases your concentration :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:35 pm
by vbarian27
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:36 pm
by vbarian27
How about the chemical workers … are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:36 pm
by vbarian27
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:36 pm
by vbarian27
Q: What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:36 pm
by vbarian27
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:45 pm
by Scot Widjaja Dis 1J
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:45 pm
by Scot Widjaja Dis 1J
Are you copper tellurium, because you’re CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:47 pm
by Scot Widjaja Dis 1J
I’m out of chemistry jokes, I should Zinc for a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 8:49 pm
by Scot Widjaja Dis 1J
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 9:47 pm
by Darren1j
What is a cation afraid of?
.... A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:22 pm
by Michelle Magana 2B
Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:00 am
by lauren_tran_1L
Do you like chemistry?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:44 am
by Mari Williams 1K
What do you call a C₆H₁₂O₆ molecule that can use its right and left hands equally well?
Ambidextrose

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 3:52 pm
by Nicolette Simoni 3L
With Finals Week approaching, here's a "cursed meme" to raise your serotonin, C₁₀H₁₂N₂O. Don't work yourself too hard and be sure to take breaks!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 5:23 pm
by Sid Panda 3A
Me after both midterms:

Br(omine)U(ranium)H(ydrogen) Moment

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:16 pm
by Breanna Ouyang 1I
Heisenberg was cruising down the highway one day when he gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer gets out of his car, and Heisenberg can tell he's quite angry. The officer approaches the window fuming.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?!" the officer asks.

"No" replied Heisenberg, "But I know where I am."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 2:59 pm
by isha dis3d
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 4:20 pm
by Allan Nguyen 2G
A photon checks into a hotel and the bellboy asks, "Can I take your bags?" The photon answers, "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:15 am
by Khushi_Gupta_1A
Q: Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
A: Because its a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:39 am
by Juwan_Madaki_3K
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 11:08 am
by Becca Nelson 3F
why are chemists so great at solving problems?

because they have so many solutions!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:23 pm
by JakeSaum_1A
I tried to come up with a joke about the periodic table but I was way out of my element

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:31 pm
by Kaili Valenzuela 2B
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:32 pm
by Mackenzie Fernandez 3G
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:42 pm
by Kristina Krivenko 3I
A little throwback to when classes were in-person and we did labs :"
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:55 pm
by Katie Phan 1K
choose your fighter
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 12:30 pm
by Emily_Stenzler_2H
:-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:24 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:26 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:26 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:27 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:29 pm
by Kevin Pilcher 3J
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:29 pm
by Jaden Ward 3J
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:30 pm
by Jaden Ward 3J
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:30 pm
by Jaden Ward 3J
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:30 pm
by Jaden Ward 3J
Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2020 5:31 pm
by Jaden Ward 3J
I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:41 pm
by vbarian27
Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:41 pm
by vbarian27
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:41 pm
by vbarian27
I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:41 pm
by vbarian27
Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:42 pm
by 305614361
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They’re cheaper than day rates.

Q: I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
A: He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:42 pm
by vbarian27
Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:43 pm
by 805377003
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:44 pm
by 805377003
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:44 pm
by 805377003
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:44 pm
by 805377003
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:45 pm
by 805377003
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 4:48 pm
by Shana Patel 1C
Did you know that oxygen went on a second date with potassium?
How'd it go?
It went OK2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 5:11 pm
by ShinwooKim_3E
What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C? Nothing, you're perfectly 0K!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 6:35 pm
by LaurenChoi_1J
Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
NO!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 6:36 pm
by LaurenChoi_1J
If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 6:39 pm
by LaurenChoi_1J
What's your reaction when you find out oxygen and magnesium are dating?
OMg!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 6:40 pm
by LaurenChoi_1J
What did all the other elements say to hydrogen?
What a loner!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 6:50 pm
by Nick P 3D
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first orders a water. The second says, "I'll have an H20, too!" The second chemist dies

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 7:23 pm
by Elena Chen 2E
what-do-you-call-an-acid-with-an-attitude.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 7:55 pm
by StephanieGrigorian2J
I blew up my chemistry experiment.
Oxidants happen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 7:57 pm
by AHUNT_1A
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:00 pm
by AHUNT_1A
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:00 pm
by AHUNT_1A
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.

“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:01 pm
by AHUNT_1A
I would tell another chemistry joke…

…but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:05 pm
by Gabe_Ek 1G
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:08 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:10 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:13 pm
by Joanne Yuh 3I
What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:36 pm
by keely_bales_1f
What do you call and acid with an attitude?



A - meano - acid :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:39 pm
by SophiaJenny3I
What's a chemist's favorite dog?
A Laboratory retriever! :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:42 pm
by Annie Tong 2G
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gases in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 8:48 pm
by Xinyu Li 1C
Two chemists meet for the first time at a symposium. One is American, one is British. The British chemists asks the American chemist, "So what do you do for research?" The American responds, "Oh, I work with arsoles." The Brit responds, "Yes, sometimes my colleagues get on my nerves also."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 9:41 pm
by Juliana Rosales 1H
I don't have any jokes per say but I have a pair of his and hers mugs.

H-Hydrogen
Er- Erbium
S- Sulfur

I used to think they were pretty funny until I started to take chem again.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 10:06 pm
by Melanie Lin 3E
I'd tell you a chemistry joke....
But all the good ones Argon :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 10:15 pm
by Joanna Huang
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 11:28 pm
by Lillian
What's H204?
Depends. If you're thirsty, drinking. If you're dirty, washing.