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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 2:30 pm
by Aaron_Trell_2J
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 3:37 pm
by Grace_McAuley_1E
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:28 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:33 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
I'm running out of good chemistry jokes. All the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:55 pm
by hfrazer1B
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 5:23 pm
by Omer Lavian 2K
Arrigato Mr. Sulfato!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 5:30 pm
by Wesley_Rugen_1E
What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 5:47 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" ..... and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 6:26 pm
by Claire_Zhou_1A
2.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 6:39 pm
by hafsa_zulfiqar_1j
What show do Cesium and Iodine like watching together?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 6:48 pm
by emmajanibekyan_4I
What did my friend tell me before I took the chemistry midterm? Good Lutetium Carbon Potassium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 7:37 pm
by JudyPham_4J
Why do hamburgers have lower energy than steak? Because it's in a ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 7:43 pm
by Rob_Carter_1L
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 8:26 pm
by Wang_Pong_Chan_1L
Two men walk into a bar. The first man asks for H20. The second man says "I'll have H20 too". The second man dies.

:)

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:01 pm
by Shannonhoang
I was texting my friend today and telling them about how my friends are always taking pics of their food.
Then he said how Ph 14 of them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:46 pm
by Huongly Do 3D
What do you call a bear with a dipole moment?

A polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:48 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
What did the Chemist say to motivate his team?

we ARGON to BARIUM.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:04 pm
by Catherine Trinh 3K
What did the iodine atom ask three attractive oxygen atoms?
To go on an iodate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:12 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:40 pm
by Deen Tar
I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:33 pm
by Timothy Yu 2M
I have a joke!
.
.
.
.
.
.
My Chemistry Grade

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:33 pm
by Bella Martin
What type of bond is the tastiest? a Pi bond!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:41 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
I told a bad joke about helium one day.
Nobody was reactive...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:54 pm
by Alexander Chen 3N
If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:00 am
by Selby Kia 1L
When you know chemistry jokes but they all Boron

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:30 am
by Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E
I don't get why my stomach hurts this bad. Me and my friend went to a bar together after our chemistry midterm, he asked for H2O and I asked for H2O too. It tasted pretty funny though.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:17 am
by Janet Pham 1B
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 9:54 am
by Alexandria_Leaf_2F
images.jpeg
images.jpeg (7.29 KiB) Viewed 9724 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:29 am
by Christian Gequillo 1D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man were to team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:05 pm
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:33 pm
by Haoqing Li 3E
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:35 pm
by Haoqing Li 3E
Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

LMAO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:30 pm
by Jand474
What is a chemists favorite plant?

A Stochiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:31 pm
by Jand474
If a King farts, is it a noble gas???

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:36 pm
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Joke of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:10 pm
by Annah Khan 1B
Q: What is the chemical formula for banana?
A: BaNa2

Haha, hope you like it!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:21 pm
by em_farag
Technically, alcohol is a solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 3:48 pm
by Isabel Gandarilla
What do you do with a Chemist when he dies?

You BARIUM :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:51 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
What do hungry chemists eat?
Gram (Graham) crackers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:31 pm
by Dan_Jin_1K
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

An a-mean-o acid!!!

hahahahahahhaha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:43 pm
by Alex Uy 2D
What did the electric dipole moment say when it walked out the door?

goo-debye!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:59 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:08 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:09 pm
by Brandon_Williams_3E
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:26 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
To everyone who forgot to divide by Avogadro's number on the midterm when converting kJ/mol to J.
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:47 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:48 pm
by Alex_Wagas_3K
Why was there a warrant out for Sodium?

It was wanted for assault (a salt)

Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:57 pm
by jillianduffield_2D
Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:14 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
What do you do to a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:24 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
What kind of gum does a ligand chew?

TRIDENTate!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:27 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
hahaha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:55 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin?


Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 12:01 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
Q: What did the chemist say when he discovered two new isotopes for helium?





A: He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:23 am
by Janet Pham 1B
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:38 am
by Ashley T 2H
What is a chemist's favorite plant?
Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:14 am
by Mikaela Gareeb 3G
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
Tuna (2Na)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:27 am
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q: Why does hamburger yield a lower energy than steak?

A: Because it's in the ground steak.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:15 pm
by Rachel Ma
Atom: These protons make my mass look big! ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:19 pm
by sheilaho_1E
Q:What does the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A "gram" cracker

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:27 am
by 804748473
What is Dr. Lavelle's favorite element?
LAURENCE-ium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 11:44 am
by Ting Zheng 3L
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?
A sulfone

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 12:29 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 12:34 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:27 pm
by Anjum Farook 2O
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 4:55 pm
by rachel_john
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 5:06 pm
by Lindsey Lill
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 6:32 pm
by Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 6:55 pm
by Jessica Huang 1M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:03 pm
by Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL
"I would never try to poison you... Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich" hahahaha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:04 pm
by 004599434
what is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:38 pm
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
chemistry is fluorine, uranium, and nitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:39 pm
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
what was the charge when NaCl was arrested? A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 9:12 pm
by Emily_Bennett_3C
This is the last Chemistry joke because all of the other ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 11:11 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 11:31 pm
by Vista_Farkhondeh_3O
How often do you post on chemistry community?
Periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 1:36 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3G
Created by myself while shopping for shampoo.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:22 am
by alvitaxiao
Why did carbon marry hydrogen? because they bonded the moment they met

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:05 am
by K Phelan 3D
What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:30 am
by Amir Patel 1G
I asked the guy sitting next to me in lecture yesterday if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO. :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:33 am
by emilyharland
I blew up my chemistry experiment... oxidants happen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:41 am
by Joyce Wu 3E
How many moles are in a guacamole??
- Avacado's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:04 am
by Julia Stinnett 2N
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:12 am
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:46 am
by Diana_Visco_1l
Here's a very witty, yet simple humorous joke for your afternoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:49 am
by Lauren Wong 3K
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:25 pm
by Megan_McElfish_3D
What kind of fish is made out of two Sodium atoms?
2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 1:27 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:11 pm
by Krishil_Gandhi_1D
Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0 X 10^23 pieces??

A: 'Guac'-a-mole...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:36 pm
by Sophia Eliopulos 2I
Saw this one coming...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 4:32 pm
by Kendall_Chaffin_3C
What do you do with a sick chemist?


Well, If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:05 pm
by Emily_Bloom_1I
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.

The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”

The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”

Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”

The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.

"A cat," Schrödinger replies.

The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”

Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:08 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:08 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:14 pm
by Helen_Lee_1L
For people who have a general knowledge of mainstream music:
What is David Guetta's favorite element?
Titanium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:35 pm
by Scott_Anderson_3J
What's a mortician's favorite element?

Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:43 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
I'm sorry I don't post jokes on Chem Community too often!

I only post PERIODICALLY!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:58 pm
by veeksha25
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 7:08 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
An infrared photon walked into a bar and said, "is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

An xray photon walked into a bar. The bartender says, "can I get you something to drink?" The xray photon said, "no, I'm just having a look inside!"

A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said "you look fluorescent!" The photon turned red, and left.

A pink photon walked into a bar. The bartender knew that pink photons don't exist, so he said, "say... you know... we don't get many pink photons around here..." The pink photon shot back "Not at these prices you won't!"

The bartender was fed up with the revelry of the photons, so he turned out the lights and they were gone.

A photon stopped at the bar and asked if there was a room to rent. The bartender said "Sure thing. Can I take your bag up to your room?" The photon said "no, I am traveling light."

A 450 nanometer photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why so blue?"

A photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?" The photon says "light beer".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 1:11 am
by sboutros2B
My Teacher threw sodium chloride at me
Thats a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:06 am
by Abigail Foster 1K
You look so familiar. Wait, didn't we take a class together? I swear we had Chemistry.