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Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:19 pm
by Jonathan Orozco 1A
Question: Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Answer: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:00 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
Great joke!
However, you're supposed to post all chemistry jokes here:
viewtopic.php?f=156&t=4291

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:48 pm
by Sebastian
I would write a chemistry joke but all of the good ones Argon.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
post

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
post

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
post

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:37 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
What kind of dogs do chemists have?





Laboratory retrievers

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:38 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?




Because it was polar.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 2:59 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 2:59 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of problems.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:00 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: Silicon

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2018 2:37 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Technically speaking...

Alcohol is a solution

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:54 pm
by Josh Moy 1H
if you aren't part of the solution you're part of the precipitate

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:03 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:04 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:07 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:10 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:11 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:13 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
when you spill water all over your laptop :(

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:13 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:16 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:17 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:17 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:18 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
rip vday

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:19 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:29 pm
by Josh Moy 1H
These are some funny jokes!!

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:29 pm
by Josh Moy 1H
Did you gain an electron because I’m starting to feel some charge

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:30 pm
by Josh Moy 1H
What did the basic DJ say?

Drop the base!!!

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:01 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:05 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:29 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:31 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:31 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:38 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:39 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:39 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:40 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:22 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:22 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:23 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:13 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
What did the chemist buy from the beaver hunter?

Aldehydes

...sorry. I'm bad at these.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:50 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:50 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:51 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:16 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:16 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar bond.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:17 am
by Karen Zheng_2H
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:28 am
by Thompson W 2C
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:28 am
by Thompson W 2C
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:29 am
by Thompson W 2C
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:10 am
by mendozayael_2H
According to lecture, what might be Dr. Lavelle's favorite band?

A-ha