Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)
A: Gold.
A: Gold.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why didn't the chemist enjoy doing chromatography?
A: He got separation anxiety.
A: He got separation anxiety.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
A: He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
A: He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know you could cool yourself to -237.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because its in the ground state.
Because its in the ground state.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
At least I have a degree!
At least I have a degree!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a bar. One says "I'll have some H2O." The other man says "I'll have some H20, too." The second man died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. The proposed element name is Un-obtainium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6 x 10^23 pieces? A Guacamole.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates. :)
They're cheaper than day rates. :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed.
H20 cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*texting a chemistry major*
"Hey you wanna go to the movies rn?"
"Sure, when?"
"Rn"
"What do you mean by Radon?"
"..."
"Hey you wanna go to the movies rn?"
"Sure, when?"
"Rn"
"What do you mean by Radon?"
"..."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
Separation anxiety.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O, too." The second chemist dies.
One says, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O, too." The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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- Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:03 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
wait for it..
A ferrous wheel.
wait for it..
A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)
A: Gold.
A: Gold.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"
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- Posts: 40
- Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:04 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You're the photon to my valence electron. You excite me to another level ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.
It's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How often does this group tell chemistry jokes?
A: Periodically!
A: Periodically!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes, but I'm afraid they won't get a good reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Initially I decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I must be an exothermic reaction, because I'm running out of energy.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?
OH SNaP!
OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
It becomes day-trogen.
It becomes day-trogen.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear that Anion broke up with Cation? Always makes me cry.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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- Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:04 am
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state
Because it's in the ground state
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A classified add read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.
How ionic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
As finals week approaches:
What is the chemical formula of coffee?
CoFe2
What is the chemical formula of coffee?
CoFe2
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and neuron are walking down the street.
Proton: Wait, I lost an electron. Will you help me find it?
Neuron: Are you sure?
Proton: Yeah, I'm positive!
Proton: Wait, I lost an electron. Will you help me find it?
Neuron: Are you sure?
Proton: Yeah, I'm positive!
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