Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[MariaJohn1D]

Don't tell jokes to noble gases you'll get no reaction.

[MariaJohn1D]

A covalent bond joke? Thanks for sharing...

[MariaJohn1D]

Do I know any jokes about sodium? Na

[MariaJohn1D]

If avogadro calls tell him to leave his number...

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

My name is Bond
.
.
Covalent Bond.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.

[Aryana Nazem 1A]

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

[Aryana Nazem 1A]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[DomMaiorca_1I]

Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?

It went OK.

[DomMaiorca_1I]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[DomMaiorca_1I]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

What is it called when the Queen of England farts?
A noble gas

[Hongtao Yao]

Me after taking Chem 14A

alchemy.jpeg (7.86 KiB) Viewed 20153 times

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

Which element is the coldest?
Brrryllium

[MinyoungHong_1L]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

2Na

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

What do you call an acid with attitude?
A-mean-oh-acid.

[204917020]

My favorite meme

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

OMG I've lost a neutron!
It's ok you can get a new one free of charge.

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?
I AM

[arina_m 1A]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

A: two-Na

[arina_m 1A]

Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

A: Ask how to pronounce the word “unionized”.

[Ashley Martinez 1G]

What did the proton say to the electron?

Forget you, why do you always have something negative to say?

[salvadoralvizo1J]

A proton walks into a bar. He's visibly depressed and disheveled.

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks.

The proton sighs. "I found out my wife has been unfaithful," he replies.

"How do know?" asks the bartender.

"Well, you see, I've always been faithful to my wife. But just today I got some bad news. I'm HIV positive."

"Oh my [censored], are you sure the prognosis is correct?" he replies.

The lonely man took a swig of his drink. "I'm positive," replied the proton.

[melodyso1K]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK

[Caitlyn Ponce 1L]

Why did the noble gas cry?
Cause all its friends Argon. i can relate tbh

[Mariah Guerrero 1J]

"The name's bond. Sigma bond."
-007

[Nandhini_2K]

Caution don't trip!

[Erin Li 1K]

I don't trust atoms...I heard they make up everything.

[nicolesalcedo]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[JoeyAnn Mateo 1D]

All the good chemistry jokes...

[JooHyun Koh 1H]

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with NaOH?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[JooHyun Koh 1H]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[Jocelyn1B]

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze!

[Jared Pagal 1J]

Remember, all CATions are PAWsitive! XD

[Rosamari Orduna 1D]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

...because it's pretty basic stuff

[Rosamari Orduna 1D]

Chemistry jokes are Sodiummm funny,
I slapped my Neon that one!

(a realll knee slapper amirite?)

[Rosamari Orduna 1D]

a s s a u l t e d b y l o v e <3

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What is the name of the molecule CH2O? Seawater

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? CoRnY.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole? Avocados number.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What did the chemical agent say? My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

[Megan Phan 1K]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

[Sollie1G]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Sollie1G]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Sollie1G]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Sollie1G]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers

[Arlene Linares 3A]

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

This one is really funny and creative.

[Arlene Linares 3A]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers

Lol, this one is really good too.

[Arlene Linares 3A]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

AHAH this one is funny as well.

[Hadji Yono-Cruz 2L]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO

[DavidEcheverri3J]

Explaining how one side of an equation must equal the other.

[Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B]

How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Stop being an anion and start being a cation.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[DavidEcheverri3J]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

That joke made ABSOLUTE ZERO sense.

[marinhaluza_1]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep going until you have a reaction.

[Ian Marquez 2K]

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na (Tuna)!

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: A silicon.

[Katie_Duong_1D]

You: Laurence Lavelle
Me, an intellectual: Lawrencium (Lr) LaVelveetaCheese

[mahika_nayak_3L]

I would post something original, but all of the good chemistry jokes Argon.

[Karla_Ocampo 4E]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
"Barium" (Ba)

[Nicolle Fernandez 1E]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Q: Have you heard about the one a chemist that was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

I try to tell good chemistry jokes but there's not reaction.

[Sarah Zhao 4C]

What do you get when you put Avogadro's number in the blender?

GuacaMOLE

[michellebui_3L]

I can't think of any more chemistry jokes. Because all the good ones Argon.

[michellebui_3L]

What did one ion say to the other ion? I've got my ion you.

[michellebui_3L]

All of these chemistry jokes are sodium funny. I slapped my neon all of them.

[Ronak Singh]

Don't trust atoms...they make up everything!

[aaronharouni]

Why aren't there any good chemistry jokes?

Because they all Argon.

[Ronak Singh]

I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite.
He said NaBrO.

[Lydia Luong 4L]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[davidbakalov_lec2_2L]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Always bring your problems to a chemist, they have all kinds of solutions.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Take all the bad chemistry puns and barium.

[MichelleTran 1I]

A chemist and his friend go into a bar. The chemist says "I'll have some h2o, please." His friend says, "I'll have some h2o, too." His friend is now dead.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Angela Cong 3C]

I tried to tell a chemistry joke but it got no reaction

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Where do atoms gather to eat dinner?

The periodic table!

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

He He ;)

[Edward Suarez 1I]

did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and. yttrium?
it was CoRnY

[404817859]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What is an Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A chemistree!

[Isabelle_Maletz_3E]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

LABORATORY RETRIEVERS :)

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

I saw this joke on Twitter and though I'd share it...

Q: Why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it is made up of alkynes of people.

haha, knee slapper!

[Pipiena Malafu 3J]

Are you the eleventh element of the periodic table because you're sodium fine B-)

[Kaylee Kang 1G]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[marinhaluza_1]

I don't trust atoms.... I hear they're into everything.

[marinhaluza_1]

Afraid of losing an electron? It's okay, I'll keep an ion it.