Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Q: Do you have mole problems?
A: If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Yiting_Gong_4L]

I try to tell chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction.

[Shuyi Yu 1B]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium then you might as well barium!

[Shuyi Yu 1B]

Do you know any jokes about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

[Shuyi Yu 1B]

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes

because all the good ones Argon.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

What would you call a clown in jail? A Silicon.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Why did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He touched the glass before it was cool.

[ElliotPourdavoud 1A]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?


.....it went OK.

[804994652]

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? periodically.

[davidbakalov_lec2_2L]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[vaishali 1D]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Why are chemists great at solving problems?

They have all the solutions!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

I heard organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[Angela Cong 3C]

Take all your lame chemistry jokes, and Barium.

[MichaelMoreno2G]

Q: Do you know any organic chemistry jokes?
A: I know Alkynes

[Edward Suarez 1I]

i try to tell chemistry jokes, but there is no reaction :/

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion!

[Kunseo Yook 2E]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?






2NA

[Kunseo Yook 2E]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?









guaca-mole

[RandallNeeDis3K]

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium ions?


2 Na.

[Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B]

You're a 10? On the pH scale maybe, cuz you're basic.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Q: What type of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

[Sydney Tay 2B]

Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Why couldn't the photon go to sleep? Because it was full of energy.

[michellebui_3L]

Q: When a king farts, what type of gas is it?

A: A noble gas.

[michellebui_3L]

Q: What did the scientist say when he discovered 2 Helium atoms?

A: He He

[michellebui_3L]

Q: Why can't we trust atoms?

A: Because they make up everything.

[Becky Belisle 1A]

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
- It was CoRnY

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Did you hear about oxygen's date with potassium?
- It went OK!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
-Because it's pretty basic stuff!

[michellebui_3L]

Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A: A mean-oh-acid.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

One guacamole is 6.022x10^23 guaca; also known as Avacado's constant.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

What did the scientist say when she found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
"OH SNaP!" said the bartender.

[Ethan Nishikawa 4D]

Q: What should you do if nobody laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction!

[Ethan Nishikawa 4D]

Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
A: NaBrO!

[Ethan Nishikawa 4D]

Q: Did you hear about Potassium's date with Oxygen?
A: Yeah, I heard it went OK.

[Liza Hayrapetyan-3K]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[abbydouglas1K]

Don't trust atoms they make up everything.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
A: He touched the beaker for it was cool.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

[Julia Cheng 4C]

You must be made of copper and tellurium because you're CuTe!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you're sodium fine!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Why aren't chemists ever able to prank their friends?

Because they lack the element of surprise!

[vaishali 1D]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?


Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[vaishali 1D]

What is "HIJKLMNO"?


H2O.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, a lot of things actually.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

[ElliotPourdavoud 1A]

What is a cation afraid of? A Dogion!

[diana_calderon_4L]

Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything!

[diana_calderon_4L]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[LedaKnowles2E]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?


...because it's in the ground state.

[davidbakalov_lec2_2L]

Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.

[Angela Cong 3C]

Chemistry? More like Chemystery

[404817859]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones are Argon

[Kunseo Yook 2E]

Why can't you trust atoms?







They make up everything.

[Luis_Yepez_1F]

Q. What do you do with a dead chemist?
A. You Barium.

[Kunseo Yook 2E]

If H20 is the chemical formula for water, what is the formula for ice?







H20 cubed.

[Kunseo Yook 2E]

What did the two scientists that fell in love say to each other?




We have a lot of chemistry.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

courtesy of the wonderful world of Twitter

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

How about the chemical workers are they unIONized ?

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[Jim Brown 14B Lec1]

salttime

[vaishali 1D]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table


...but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[vaishali 1D]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?


It was CoRnY.

[vaishali 1D]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution

[marinhaluza_1]

What is a chemist's favorite kind of dog?

A lab!

[marinhaluza_1]

A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Kevin ODonnell 2B]

Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next? Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - BATMAN

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

[MaiaRodriguezChoi3E]

A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop says "Can we help you with your luggage?". The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm traveling light"

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be okay?

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

A: He got Avogadro’s number!

[Rachel-Weisz3C]

Did you know protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!

[almaochoa2D]

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO

[ArielKim3C]

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CsI

[RandallNeeDis3K]

I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

A mole of moles would collapse under its own weight and become a black mole.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

What element derives from a Norse go.d? Thorium

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!"

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Why did carbon marry hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met!

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe

[Natalie Liu 4I]

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke." The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies,
"For you? No charge."