Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A covalent bond yells at an ionic bond, "Didn't anybody ever teach you how to share?"
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution
A: A one molar solution
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Julia Cheng 1B wrote:What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!"
- Attachments
-
- 4Gha2iA7_400x400.jpg (24.02 KiB) Viewed 27828 times
-
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Natalie Liu 4I wrote:A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke." The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies,
"For you? No charge."
haha! that took me a while to understand but eventually i got it.
-
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:03 am
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
the 119th element
- Attachments
-
- element-of-surprise_272.gif (55.93 KiB) Viewed 27826 times
-
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
-
- Posts: 69
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel
A: A ferrous wheel
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A: A mole of molasses.
A: A mole of molasses.
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like OMg
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:27 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q ... 6229157001
Great meme guys, please take the time to click the link
Great meme guys, please take the time to click the link
-
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Whats the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry you never lick the spoon.
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, NO CHARGE."
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking lmao
Drinking lmao
-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the political science major define free radical on his chemistry exam?
A wild protestor.
A wild protestor.
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a joke that has cobalt, radon, and yttrium in it?
CoRnY!
CoRnY!
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
h2o-cubed!
h2o-cubed!
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you!
A: I've got my ion you!
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
-
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The human body is primarily composed of Carbon, Hydrogen, and Oxygen, and a little bit of Sodium, so that means we're 100% NaCHO ;)
-
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:03 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
-
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
-
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Did you lose an electron? I'm going to keep ion on it"
Cation: noun
an atom with a paw-sitive charge!
Cation: noun
an atom with a paw-sitive charge!
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Polar bears are really good at working together in chemistry because they create polar bonds.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
all the good chemistry jokes Argon, i think we should take the bad ones and Barium.
-
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:18 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Not quite chem related but..
Why do many pre-med students want to donate their bodies to research after they die?
Because that is the only way for them to get into med school.
Why do many pre-med students want to donate their bodies to research after they die?
Because that is the only way for them to get into med school.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I know my friends don't like chemistry jokes... but I tell them periodically.
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
!
- Attachments
-
- 5CA03911-1974-4100-9934-64B7D82D1B45.jpeg (34.03 KiB) Viewed 25613 times
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:24 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard of the new element on the periodic table?
Ah! the element of surprise.
Ah! the element of surprise.
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
-
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogrado's favorite sport?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff!
Because it's pretty basic stuff!
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why aren't chemists ever able to prank their friends?
Because they lack the element of surprise
Because they lack the element of surprise
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel
A ferrous wheel
-
- Posts: 69
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:25 am
-
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:28 am
-
- Posts: 74
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am
Return to “Student Social/Study Group”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 25 guests