Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

[Zack Barta 3I]

haha

[Zack Barta 3I]

haha

[Zack Barta 3I]

haha

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[505095972]

Do you want to hear a post about Nitric Oxide?

NO

[505095972]

When I tell chemistry jokes, I normally get a good reaction.

[705022748]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
I’ve got my ion you.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

[vaishali 1D]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[vaishali 1D]

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon.

[vaishali 1D]

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

[diana_calderon_4L]

Every dipole has its moment.

[diana_calderon_4L]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

[diana_calderon_4L]

What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.

[Liza Hayrapetyan-3K]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[Liza Hayrapetyan-3K]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What show does cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?

OH SNaP!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

What does Mariah Carey want for Christmas?

[sonalivij]

I post bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Ar(gone) :)

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Organic chemists talking about d-orbitals is cultural appropriation at its worst.

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

[Edward Suarez 1I]

dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

[404817859]

What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery

[805169754]

How was Oxygen's date with Potassium?
It went OK

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.

[405169322]

Q: What did one angry water molecule say to the other water molecule?
A: Get bent!

[405098546]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything

[805169754]

Did you hear about the dude who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? A: “You May have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

[Brian Cook]

How do you post on Chemistry Community?

[vaishali 1D]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[vaishali 1D]

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

[vaishali 1D]

What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)


Gold.

[vaishali 1D]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?



Because it was polar.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

[Pooja Sheladiya 1L]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

What kind of fish is made up of sodium?
2 Na.

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Jason Madeloso 4H]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

[Julia Cheng 4C]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light!"

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What would you call a remake of the film Tron?

neutron!

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[rachana_korapati3C]

I would tell another chemistry joke...
... but all the good ones Argon

[rachana_korapati3C]

Q: did you know proton's have mass?
A: i didn't even know they were catholic...

[Jim Brown 14B Lec1]

sodium chloride

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

[Natalie Liu 4I]

How did the political science major define free radical on his chemistry exam?
A wild protestor

[Natalie Liu 4I]

How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
Avocados number.

[Esther Lee 4H]

did y'all hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero? he's 0K now

[Edward Suarez 1I]

a chem roast:

you a 10? maybe on a pH scale, cuz you're basic.

[Vana Mirzakhani 3I]

A: What's the formula for water?
B: H I J K L M N O
A: That's wrong!
B: Nope, the formula is H to O

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

What's a chemist's favorite pet?

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

me, coming back from break

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

14/14

[804994652]

If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

[404817859]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[804994652]

once i told a chemistry joke...there was no reaction.

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[805169754]

I tried to tell a joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium
it was CoRnY

[805169754]

Do you know what went down between Sodium and Hydrogen?
NaH

[804994652]

What is the gender of Iron Man?
Fe Male

[diana_calderon_4L]

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

[diana_calderon_4L]

Did you read the book about Helium? I heard you can't put it down.

[diana_calderon_4L]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table, but I realized that it wasn’t quite in my element.

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

[Angela Cordova 3F]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. They really bonded.

[davidbakalov_lec2_2L]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium