Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a chemist's favorite genre of music?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the attacking army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy’s base.
A: To neutralize the enemy’s base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One says, "I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I'll have an H2O too." The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing a joke about the periodic table, but I wasn't in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the joke about Cobalt, Radon, and Yttrium? It was so CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He couldn't put it down!
hehe
He couldn't put it down!
hehe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they are cheaper than day rates
Because they are cheaper than day rates
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemical agent say?
Name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared
Name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state
Because it's in the ground state
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
did u hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?
A: I’ve got my ion you.
A: I’ve got my ion you.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
It was CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na... BATMAN
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na... BATMAN
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
John: “Hey that ranger Argon guy, why is he wearing a crown?”
Me: “Because LOTR is a tale about Argon, his friend Boron and their adventures with Zinc, Iron, Aluminum and Mercury.”
(credit to moderngardening.tumblr.com; im sorry this is lame)
Me: “Because LOTR is a tale about Argon, his friend Boron and their adventures with Zinc, Iron, Aluminum and Mercury.”
(credit to moderngardening.tumblr.com; im sorry this is lame)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chem_Mod wrote:We had a fun review session on Friday November 7 and I encourage all students to view it as there were many excellent Q&A.
I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:
Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!
Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.
lol
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
vaishali 1D wrote:Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
lmao
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why aren't chemists able to prank their friends?
Because they lack the element of surprise
Because they lack the element of surprise
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry jokes are funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms in place of carbon atoms?
a ferrous wheel (ugh
a ferrous wheel (ugh
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
four people meet at a tattoo store.
im getting this one, the twenty year old points to a structural formula of dopamine. i wish to attain happiness.
and im getting this, the forty year old points to a structural formula of diazepam. i wish to be free from stress and live in tranquility.
the sixty year old says he wants to have testosterone tattooed.
the remaining man, an eighty year old, says silently
im getting palytoxin
the rest of the people stare at him. "why though?"
the eighty year old sighs: "it's part of my research thesis in total synthesis. i just wish to graduate sooner."
im getting this one, the twenty year old points to a structural formula of dopamine. i wish to attain happiness.
and im getting this, the forty year old points to a structural formula of diazepam. i wish to be free from stress and live in tranquility.
the sixty year old says he wants to have testosterone tattooed.
the remaining man, an eighty year old, says silently
im getting palytoxin
the rest of the people stare at him. "why though?"
the eighty year old sighs: "it's part of my research thesis in total synthesis. i just wish to graduate sooner."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it’s in the ground state.
A: Because it’s in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: ” Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H-two-O-CUBED
H-two-O-CUBED
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed
H2O cubed
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen excited when he left the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number.
He got Avogadro's number.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A: C over lambda.
A: C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
A: A ferrous wheel:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
A: H-two-O-CUBED
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
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