Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[805169754]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

[805169754]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O³

[805169754]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

[805169754]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[vaishali 1D]

What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.

[vaishali 1D]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

[vaishali 1D]

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

[vaishali 1D]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

[505095972]

What did the cashier say to Gibbs when he bought an energy drink?

"Don't worry about it. It's free.”

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

A HUG without "U" would be toxic

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

...

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

...

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

...

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Why do chemistry teachers like to teach about ammonia?
It’s pretty basic stuff.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Tony Ong 3K]

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ION them."

hahahhahahhaa

[Tony Ong 3K]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Tony Ong 3K]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[diana_calderon_4L]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[diana_calderon_4L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light.

[diana_calderon_4L]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D]

Did you hear Magnesium and Oxygen are a couple now?? OMg!!

[Hannah Yates 1K]

@ the midterm thissss yearrrrrr

[Hannah Yates 1K]

Hello, while I was procrastinating my studies, I drew Lavelle! Thought I would share this with all of you!! Thanks for being a great professor !

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Which element is a girl's best friend?
Carbon (diamond).

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because it's in ground state.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.

[Celine Hoh 2L]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

[Celine Hoh 2L]

If I steal your electrons would I be legally charged?

[Emilia z]

Wow, chemistry jokes are Sodium funny

[Emilia z]

^ I slapped my Neon that one

[Emilia z]

Chemistry Community is such a great resource so I only try to post jokes periodically

[Sam Joslyn 1G]

Physical chemists must be rich because they have so many joules!! Hehe

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

!!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

haha...

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

!!!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

lol ...

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

Spongebob memes never get old...

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

yikes..

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

ouch..

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

haha...

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

....

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What does it mean when electrons lose energy?

They're Bohr-ed!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Why is it best to teach thermodynamics on a cliff?

Because there's more potential there!

[I am Sodium Funny]

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number

[I am Sodium Funny]

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium... Batman

[I am Sodium Funny]

None of these jokes are catalyzing a reaction from

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

[davidbakalov_lec2_2L]

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

[MichelleTran 1I]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[MichelleTran 1I]

Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you're Be-Au-Ti-ful!

[MichelleTran 1I]

[Michael Torres 4I]

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

[Simran Rai 4E]

:o

[Natalie Liu 4I]

I’ll tell you a joke about a tiny amount of iron for a small Fe

[Natalie Liu 4I]

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0k.

[Edward Suarez 1I]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Edward Suarez 1I]

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

[Edward Suarez 1I]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[diana_calderon_4L]

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base!

[diana_calderon_4L]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

[diana_calderon_4L]

Old chemists never die…
They just stop reacting!

[Emilia z]

Two men walk into a bar. the first man orders H2O, the second man asks for "H2O too". the second man dies.

[Emilia z]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? a one molar solution

[Emilia z]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bar tender how much for a soft drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge!"

[vaishali 1D]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?


A silicon.

[vaishali 1D]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?


Laboratory Retrievers

[Danielle Hoekstra 1C]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Danielle Hoekstra 1C]

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Why are chemists good at solving problems? They have all the solutions.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Why do chemists like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?
A: H2O.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What is CH2O?
A: Seawater

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

I’d tell more chemistry jokes, but the best ones argon.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: (H2O)3.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados?
A: Guacamole

[Edward Suarez 1I]

take all ur lame chem jokes and barium

[whitney_2C]

some jokes for you

[Anjali_Kumar1F]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
Water.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

I hated learning about electrons. I got so Bohr'd.

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Julia Cheng 4C]

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium because you're a real BaBe

[Julia Cheng 4C]

I'm out of good chemistry jokes...
I should zinc of some new ones

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What is CH2O called?

Seawater!

[diana_calderon_4L]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now

[diana_calderon_4L]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

[diana_calderon_4L]

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon