Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

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805169754
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 805169754 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:56 pm

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

805169754
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 805169754 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:59 pm

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O3

805169754
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 805169754 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:00 pm

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

805169754
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 805169754 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:01 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

vaishali 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:35 pm

What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.

vaishali 1D
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:36 pm

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

vaishali 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:36 pm

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

vaishali 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:37 pm

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

505095972
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 505095972 » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:38 pm

What did the cashier say to Gibbs when he bought an energy drink?

"Don't worry about it. It's free.”

Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:02 pm

A HUG without "U" would be toxic

Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:04 pm

...
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Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:05 pm

...
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Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:06 pm

...
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Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:07 pm

.
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Natalie Liu 4I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:39 pm

Why do chemistry teachers like to teach about ammonia?
It’s pretty basic stuff.

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:41 pm

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:42 pm

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Tony Ong 3K
Posts: 63
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Tony Ong 3K » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:15 pm

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ION them."

hahahhahahhaa

Tony Ong 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Tony Ong 3K » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:16 pm

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Tony Ong 3K
Posts: 63
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Tony Ong 3K » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:16 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

diana_calderon_4L
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:10 am

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:10 am

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:11 am

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D » Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:28 pm

Did you hear Magnesium and Oxygen are a couple now?? OMg!!

Hannah Yates 1K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Hannah Yates 1K » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:09 am

@ the midterm thissss yearrrrrr
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Haha

Hannah Yates 1K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Hannah Yates 1K » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:15 am

Hello, while I was procrastinating my studies, I drew Lavelle! Thought I would share this with all of you!! Thanks for being a great professor !
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Dr. Lavelle !!

Kassidy Tran 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:39 am

Which element is a girl's best friend?
Carbon (diamond).

Kassidy Tran 1E
Posts: 77
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:40 am

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because it's in ground state.

Kassidy Tran 1E
Posts: 77
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:41 am

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.

Celine Hoh 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Celine Hoh 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:59 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

Celine Hoh 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Celine Hoh 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 1:00 pm

If I steal your electrons would I be legally charged?

Emilia z
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:11 pm

Wow, chemistry jokes are Sodium funny

Emilia z
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:11 pm

^ I slapped my Neon that one

Emilia z
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:12 pm

Chemistry Community is such a great resource so I only try to post jokes periodically

Sam Joslyn 1G
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sam Joslyn 1G » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:20 pm

Physical chemists must be rich because they have so many joules!! Hehe

Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:45 pm

!!
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:46 pm

haha...
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:48 pm

!
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:54 pm

!!!
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:54 pm

lol ...
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:21 pm

Spongebob memes never get old...
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:22 pm

yikes..
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:23 pm

ouch..
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Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:23 pm

haha...
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chem joke 16.png

Ivana Gutierrez 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ivana Gutierrez 2L » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:24 pm

....
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Julia Cheng 4C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:48 am

What does it mean when electrons lose energy?

They're Bohr-ed!

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:48 am

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:49 am

Why is it best to teach thermodynamics on a cliff?

Because there's more potential there!

I am Sodium Funny
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:16 pm

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number

I am Sodium Funny
Posts: 65
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:18 pm

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium... Batman

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:19 pm

None of these jokes are catalyzing a reaction from

Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:21 pm

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Gisselle Sainz 2F
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:22 pm

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

Gisselle Sainz 2F
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:22 pm

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

davidbakalov_lec2_2L
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby davidbakalov_lec2_2L » Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:41 pm

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

MichelleTran 1I
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby MichelleTran 1I » Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:57 pm

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

MichelleTran 1I
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby MichelleTran 1I » Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:59 pm

Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you're Be-Au-Ti-ful!

MichelleTran 1I
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby MichelleTran 1I » Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:01 pm

Image

Michael Torres 4I
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Been upvoted: 1 time

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michael Torres 4I » Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:50 pm

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

Simran Rai 4E
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Simran Rai 4E » Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:00 am

:o
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Natalie Liu 4I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:03 pm

I’ll tell you a joke about a tiny amount of iron for a small Fe

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:08 pm

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0k.

Edward Suarez 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Edward Suarez 1I » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Edward Suarez 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Edward Suarez 1I » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Edward Suarez 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Edward Suarez 1I » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:31 am

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base!

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:31 am

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:32 am

Old chemists never die…
They just stop reacting!

Emilia z
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:21 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:43 pm

Two men walk into a bar. the first man orders H2O, the second man asks for "H2O too". the second man dies.

Emilia z
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:21 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:44 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? a one molar solution

Emilia z
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:21 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emilia z » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:45 pm

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bar tender how much for a soft drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge!"

vaishali 1D
Posts: 61
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:44 pm

What do you call a clown who's in jail?


A silicon.

vaishali 1D
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby vaishali 1D » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:44 pm

What kind of dogs do chemists have?


Laboratory Retrievers

Danielle Hoekstra 1C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Danielle Hoekstra 1C » Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:58 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Danielle Hoekstra 1C
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Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Danielle Hoekstra 1C » Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:01 pm

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon

Kassidy Tran 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:50 pm

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Kassidy Tran 1E
Posts: 77
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:51 pm

Why are chemists good at solving problems? They have all the solutions.

Kassidy Tran 1E
Posts: 77
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:52 pm

Why do chemists like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:34 pm

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?
A: H2O.

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm

Q: What is CH2O?
A: Seawater

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm

I’d tell more chemistry jokes, but the best ones argon.

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:36 pm

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: (H2O)3.

Kevin Nguyen 2H
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kevin Nguyen 2H » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:36 pm

Q: What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados?
A: Guacamole

Edward Suarez 1I
Posts: 75
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Edward Suarez 1I » Sun Mar 03, 2019 4:20 pm

take all ur lame chem jokes and barium

whitney_2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby whitney_2C » Sun Mar 03, 2019 5:06 pm

some jokes for you
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Anjali_Kumar1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Anjali_Kumar1F » Sun Mar 03, 2019 6:25 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:43 pm

What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
Water.

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:48 pm

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe.

Natalie Liu 4I
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:29 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:52 pm

I hated learning about electrons. I got so Bohr'd.

Gisselle Sainz 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:04 pm

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Gisselle Sainz 2F
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:10 pm

Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

Gisselle Sainz 2F
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Gisselle Sainz 2F » Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:12 pm

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D
Posts: 38
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:22 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D » Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:24 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:06 am

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium because you're a real BaBe

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:07 am

I'm out of good chemistry jokes...
I should zinc of some new ones

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:09 am

What is CH2O called?

Seawater!

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:42 am

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:42 am

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:26 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:43 am

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon


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