Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

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[Sydney Takeda 2I]

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[Sydney Takeda 2I]

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[Sydney Takeda 2I]

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[Lydia Luong 4L]

OMG did you know that Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?

[Lydia Luong 4L]

Are you made out of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're CuTe!

[Lydia Luong 4L]

All the good Chemistry jokes Argon :(

[I am Sodium Funny]

He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

[I am Sodium Funny]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[I am Sodium Funny]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY

[I am Sodium Funny]

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

Na BrO.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?

It went OK

(this one was bad even by my standards

[I am Sodium Funny]

If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?

Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[I am Sodium Funny]

What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?

Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

[I am Sodium Funny]

best one by far

Why did the attacking army use acid?

To neutralize the enemy’s base.

[I am Sodium Funny]

What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?

“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

[I am Sodium Funny]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

[I am Sodium Funny]

I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.

I promise you’ll be 0K.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it is its basic material.

[I am Sodium Funny]

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.”

[I am Sodium Funny]

It takes alkynes to make a world. (ACS Bumper Sticker)

[I am Sodium Funny]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.

[I am Sodium Funny]

Why does formic acid neutralize all other acids? Because it’s an ant-acid! [Formic acid is the venom in red ant stings.]

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Did you know you can lower your body temperature to -273 Degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

[Nikki Bych 1I]

I wanted to write a joke about the periodic table, but I didn't feel like I was in my element.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Every dipole has their moment.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Why does the army use acid?
To neutralize their enemy base.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What do you call one tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What did one charged atom say to anther?
I've got my ion you.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What happened to the man with sodium chloride and a 9-V in his car?
He was booked for a-salt and battery.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon

[Nikki Bych 1I]

I wish I had more chemistry jokes, but I can only think of them periodically.

[varunhariharan]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[varunhariharan]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium

[varunhariharan]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[varunhariharan]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[taywebb]

What would you do with a dead scientist? Just Barium.

[Priscilla Okaiteye]

Get it... xD

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi!

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

My jokes are kinda boron.. but a lot of the good ones argon.

[diana_calderon_4L]

As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.

The teacher said my effort was the best.

I nailed it.

[diana_calderon_4L]

A neutron walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"

[diana_calderon_4L]

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution.

[diana_calderon_4L]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[diana_calderon_4L]

What do you call a scientific plant?

Chemis-tree.

[diana_calderon_4L]

What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

[diana_calderon_4L]

I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.

He said, "Si."

[Sean_Rodriguez_1J]

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Where was the salt bridge sent when it committed a crime?

The galvanic cells

[Julia Cheng 4C]

How did the ion cross the road?

It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

[Sarah Zhao 4C]

What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

It just wasn't meant to B.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

It just wasn't meant to B.

Is this A joke?

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

It just wasn't meant to B.

Is this A joke?

It is D best.

[Claire Aseremo 1D]

It just wasn't meant to B.

Is this A joke?

It is D best!

F that.

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything haha

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

yikes that wasn't such hot joke.

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[Salena Chowdri 1I]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Edward Suarez 1I]

u know what's a joke?

my grade on that final :(

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

this is physics but I mean

[Anita Wong 1H]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid ... ater&ifg=1

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

ok

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

it's been fun

[Cade Okohira 4K]

What kind of fish is made out of sodium?

2 Na

[904837647]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[904837647]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[904837647]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[904837647]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

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[Brianna Brockman 1F]

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[Brianna Brockman 1F]

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

[Brianna Brockman 1F]

tumblr_pkf4hsGJFB1v8f12l_400.jpg (44.21 KiB) Viewed 54172 times

[Cade Okohira 4K]

element 1: That was sodium funny!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!

[Cade Okohira 4K]

[904837647]

[904837647]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[904837647]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[904837647]

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.

[AngelaZ 1J]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium.