Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

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Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:06 pm

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Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:10 pm

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Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:11 pm

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Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:12 pm

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i really hope someone is actually looking at all these
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Lydia Luong 4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Lydia Luong 4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:48 am

OMG did you know that Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?

Lydia Luong 4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Lydia Luong 4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:49 am

Are you made out of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're CuTe!

Lydia Luong 4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Lydia Luong 4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:50 am

All the good Chemistry jokes Argon :(

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:01 am

He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

I am Sodium Funny
Posts: 65
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

Na BrO.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?

It went OK

(this one was bad even by my standards

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am

If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?

Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:05 am

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am

What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?

Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am

best one by far

Why did the attacking army use acid?

To neutralize the enemy’s base.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am

What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?

“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am

I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.

I promise you’ll be 0K.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it is its basic material.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am

Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.”

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am

It takes alkynes to make a world. (ACS Bumper Sticker)

I am Sodium Funny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:11 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.

I am Sodium Funny
Posts: 65
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby I am Sodium Funny » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:12 am

Why does formic acid neutralize all other acids? Because it’s an ant-acid! [Formic acid is the venom in red ant stings.]

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:42 am

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am

Did you know you can lower your body temperature to -273 Degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am

I wanted to write a joke about the periodic table, but I didn't feel like I was in my element.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:47 am

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:48 am

Every dipole has their moment.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:49 am

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:50 am

I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:51 am

Why does the army use acid?
To neutralize their enemy base.

Nikki Bych 1I
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:16 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am

What do you call one tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am

What did one charged atom say to anther?
I've got my ion you.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am

What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:58 am

What happened to the man with sodium chloride and a 9-V in his car?
He was booked for a-salt and battery.

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:08 am

What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon

Nikki Bych 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nikki Bych 1I » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:09 am

I wish I had more chemistry jokes, but I can only think of them periodically.

varunhariharan
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby varunhariharan » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:26 pm

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

varunhariharan
Posts: 30
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:16 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby varunhariharan » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:27 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium

varunhariharan
Posts: 30
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:16 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby varunhariharan » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:43 pm

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

varunhariharan
Posts: 30
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby varunhariharan » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:44 pm

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

taywebb
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby taywebb » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:19 pm

What would you do with a dead scientist? Just Barium.

Priscilla Okaiteye
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Priscilla Okaiteye » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:37 pm

Get it... xD
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Kassidy Tran 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:56 pm

Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi!

Kassidy Tran 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kassidy Tran 1E » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:57 pm

My jokes are kinda boron.. but a lot of the good ones argon.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm

As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.

The teacher said my effort was the best.

I nailed it.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm

A neutron walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution.

diana_calderon_4L
Posts: 64
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm

What do you call a scientific plant?

Chemis-tree.

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm

What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

diana_calderon_4L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby diana_calderon_4L » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:11 pm

I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.

He said, "Si."

Sean_Rodriguez_1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sean_Rodriguez_1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:00 am

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Julia Cheng 4C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:22 am

Where was the salt bridge sent when it committed a crime?

The galvanic cells

Julia Cheng 4C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:24 am

How did the ion cross the road?

It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:26 am

What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

Sarah Zhao 4C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sarah Zhao 4C » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:28 am

Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.

Claire Aseremo 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Claire Aseremo 1D » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:29 am

Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?

Julia Cheng 4C
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Julia Cheng 4C » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:31 am

Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?


It is D best.

Claire Aseremo 1D
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:20 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Claire Aseremo 1D » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:35 am

Julia Cheng 4C wrote:
Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?


It is D best!


F that.

Salena Chowdri 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Salena Chowdri 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:51 am

Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything haha

Salena Chowdri 1I
Posts: 66
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Salena Chowdri 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

yikes that wasn't such hot joke.

Salena Chowdri 1I
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Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:02 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Salena Chowdri 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Salena Chowdri 1I
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:02 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Salena Chowdri 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Salena Chowdri 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Salena Chowdri 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:53 am

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Edward Suarez 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Edward Suarez 1I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:33 pm

u know what's a joke?

my grade on that final :(

Natalie Liu 4I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:37 pm

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.

Natalie Liu 4I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm

Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.

Natalie Liu 4I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Natalie Liu 4I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm

Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.

Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:52 pm

this is physics but I mean
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Anita Wong 1H
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Been upvoted: 2 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Anita Wong 1H » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:55 pm


Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:56 pm

ok
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Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Sydney Takeda 2I » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:57 pm

it's been fun
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Cade Okohira 4K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Cade Okohira 4K » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:16 pm

What kind of fish is made out of sodium?

2 Na

904837647
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:30 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

904837647
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:32 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

904837647
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:33 pm

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

904837647
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:35 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:38 pm

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm

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Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm

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Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:44 pm

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:45 pm

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Brianna Brockman 1F » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:46 pm

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Cade Okohira 4K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Cade Okohira 4K » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:59 pm

element 1: That was sodium funny!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!

Cade Okohira 4K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Cade Okohira 4K » Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:06 pm

chemjoke.jpg

904837647
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 01, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:03 pm

Image

904837647
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 01, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:04 pm

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

904837647
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 01, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:08 pm

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

904837647
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 01, 2018 3:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904837647 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:17 pm

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:26 pm

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:27 pm

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium.


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