Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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- i really hope someone is actually looking at all these
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY
It was CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK
(this one was bad even by my standards
It went OK
(this one was bad even by my standards
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
best one by far
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.
I promise you’ll be 0K.
I promise you’ll be 0K.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it is its basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does formic acid neutralize all other acids? Because it’s an ant-acid! [Formic acid is the venom in red ant stings.]
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know you can lower your body temperature to -273 Degrees Celsius and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I wanted to write a joke about the periodic table, but I didn't feel like I was in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call one tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!
Never lick the spoon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man with sodium chloride and a 9-V in his car?
He was booked for a-salt and battery.
He was booked for a-salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I wish I had more chemistry jokes, but I can only think of them periodically.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Get it... xD
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.
The teacher said my effort was the best.
I nailed it.
The teacher said my effort was the best.
I nailed it.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.
He said, "Si."
He said, "Si."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Where was the salt bridge sent when it committed a crime?
The galvanic cells
The galvanic cells
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the ion cross the road?
It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!
It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
It is D best.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
It is D best!
F that.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?
yikes that wasn't such hot joke.
yikes that wasn't such hot joke.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
this is physics but I mean
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
ok
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
element 1: That was sodium funny!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
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