Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry is really funny, there are even people who laugh at nitrogen(I) oxide.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met.
They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?
A KNiFe
A KNiFe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions
They have all the solutions
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street…
One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?"
-"Keep telling them until you get a reaction."
-"Keep telling them until you get a reaction."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
They have all the solutions.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.
...but all the good ones Argon.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"I initially decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
AngelaZ 1J wrote:What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"
:-)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Giselle1B wrote:"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'
Good one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg was caught speeding. The cops pulled him over and asked "do you know how fast you were going? " Heisenberg says "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was!" The cops were like " you were going 120 mph in 80 mph zone!" Heisenberg says " Great! Now I am lost."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What can you make when you have 6.022x10^23 avocados?
Guacamole, because you gotta follow Avocado’s Law.
Guacamole, because you gotta follow Avocado’s Law.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar
The first chemist says I'll have some H2O. The second says I'll have some H2O too. The second one dies shortly after.
The first chemist says I'll have some H2O. The second says I'll have some H2O too. The second one dies shortly after.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A gold atom went to a bar, and the bartender said, "Au, get out of here."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Even FaceApp can't make this plastic bottle age well. Only recycling can do that.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
It's pretty basic stuff.
It's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I love to tell chemistry jokes!! But I only get a reaction periodically...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.
The bartender exclaims "OH SNaP!"
The bartender exclaims "OH SNaP!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
It was CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This chemistry joke is really cheesy because all the good chemistry jokes Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
...... laboratory retrievers......
...... laboratory retrievers......
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf because he always got a mole-in-one
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes? Keep telling them until you get a reaction!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
He He He (Helium Helium Helium)
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
He He He (Helium Helium Helium)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table...
... but then I realized I wasn't quite in my element.
... but then I realized I wasn't quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
oxygen+sodium+sodium = O Na Na whats my name...
Last edited by Chanel D_4E on Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the officer molecule say to the suspect atom?
A:I got my ion you.
A:I got my ion you.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Friend: What's H2O?
Me: Water.
Friend: Ok, what's 100000000000000000000000000000000000H2O?
Me: IDK, a flood??
Me: Water.
Friend: Ok, what's 100000000000000000000000000000000000H2O?
Me: IDK, a flood??
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Me: Do you know why I make bad jokes about chemistry?
Friend: No, why?
Me: Because, all the good one's Argon.
Friend: No, why?
Me: Because, all the good one's Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you a non volitaile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
A: Mole-tiple choice.
A: Mole-tiple choice.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If no one laughs at your chem jokes, keep going until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
did you know that you can cool yourself to -237.15C and still be OK?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you cant helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you cant helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state, and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state, and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Shreyesi Srivastava 2D wrote:Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine
How have I never heard this one! HAHAh! :')
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I am Sodium Funny wrote:Jonathan Shih 3H wrote:If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.
Have been trying to figure out the first joke for almost a year and I can't figure out lmao
Hahah it's great. So the first is telling you the formula of water and then the next is telling you what it's for... H204 (for)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Enjoy!
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What element best describes me?
The element of indecision: Imnotsurium
The element of indecision: Imnotsurium
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