Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Debora Fernandez Clemente_ 4H]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn’t put it down!

[kendal mccarthy]

Here is one i found that sent me: Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

[405398682]

Q: Why cylinders smarter than you?
A：Because they are graduated cylinder

[Julieta Serobyan4D]

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK

This one is the best

[Oduwole 1E]

A shopper walks into a supermarket and asks an employee,

Shopper: Would you happen to have any sodium hypobromite?

Employee: NaBrO

[Oduwole 1E]

I'm out of chemistry jokes. I should really Zinc of a new one.

[Oduwole 1E]

The atom symbol for confusion:

Um

[KatherineValdez_4B]

This isn’t a serious question, but is Schrodinger’s equation related to Schrodingers cat from the Big Bang Theory?

[Venus_Hagan 2L]

Don't trust atoms, they make up eveything.

[Aman Sankineni 2L]

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically!

[Chetas Holagunda 3H]

What's the dullest element?

Bohrium

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

All the good chemistry jokes Argon

[305086803]

How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Change your name to "et al".

[305086803]

Photons have mass?

I didnt know they were catholic!

[305086803]

What do you do with dead chemists? Ya barium.

[305086803]

Don't ask for chemistry jokes, because you'll never get a reaction.

[305086803]

You're a 10... on the pH scale because you're basic.

[005162520]

Water droplets ask, "Hey oil! Wanna hang out?"
Oil responds "Well I can't mix with you guys."
Water exclaims, "Hydrophobe!"

[005162520]

"Right there on the periodic table! Do you see it??"
- "Oh my GAWWD! I can't believe it!"
"It's the element of surprise"

[Liliana Aguas 3G]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?????????????????????




It was CoRnY.................. LOL

[Liliana Aguas 3G]

Ok my last one was actually corny(hehe) so here's another:

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen???


NaBrO

[Anna Wu 1H]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?




Because it was polar!

[Anna Wu 1H]

What is HIJKLMNO?



H20!

[Anna Wu 1H]

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?



2Na

[Anna Wu 1H]

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

[Anna Wu 1H]

Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?





Because she is a Female.

[Adelpha Chan 1B]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny that I slapped my neon that one!

[Adelpha Chan 1B]

Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

A: NaBrO.

[Sunia Akaveka 4I]

My understanding of chemistry. That's it. That's the joke.

[AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B]

Schrödinger and Heisenberg are driving down the motorway when a cop pulls them over.
He walks up to the window and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but i know exactly where I was."
The cop, thinking that such a weird response deserves further investigation tells Heisenberg to open the boot of the car. He looks in and sees a dead cat.
"Do you know that there's a dead cat in here?' he shouts.
Schrödinger replies, "Well, I do now!"

[Chetas Holagunda 3H]

What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation Anxiety!

[Rebecca Remple 1C]

This is definitely the best type of Chemistry Lab :)

[plopezcordon_4C]

What did one photon say to the other?

I'm sick of your interference!

[Jasmine Fendi 1D]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[nicole-2B]

I heard Potassium and Oxygen went on a date....It went OK

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

My high school chemistry had the first joke up all year and it always made me laugh!

[nicole-2B]

Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

A: NaBrO.

This was such a good joke. Thanks for the laugh.

[Claire Grover 3G]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Liliana Aguas 3G]

In spirit of the topic we're learning:))

What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?





...... Foe-tons

[GEOVANNAO_3F]

"Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, a**hole!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists."

am I cool now?

[Brian J Cheng 1I]

Here's a good one:

What is the chemical formula of coffee?

CoFe2

[GEOVANNAO_3F]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

getting this discussion points while laughing at all the other jokes.

[KatherineValdez_4B]

Chemistry jokes are SODIUM funny!!

[SimranSangha4I]

What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr'ed

[Kavee Dodampahala 4E]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Ethan Low 1L]

Question: How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Answer: Change your name to "et al".


'Ba dum tsssssst'


Hope everyone is having a good weekend and lets get through this course together! (:

[Oduwole 1E]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

[Oduwole 1E]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

A: Na

[Oduwole 1E]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.

The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?"

The proton replies "I'm positive."

[Oduwole 1E]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

[Oduwole 1E]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

A: Because it's in the ground state.

[kevinolvera1j]

Using E=hv to find the frequency?

Nah bro, just Einstein checking your vibes

[Jade Hinds 2B]

Are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you're Cu Te


lol

[Jade Hinds 2B]

QA: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything!

[005162520]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.

[pJimenez3F]

What did the other elements say to Hydrogen?

HAHA WHAT A LONER

[Amy Xiao 1I]

Why is Helium the best audience for a comedy show?

Because it always says He He He.

[Amy Xiao 1I]

Have you seen the new James Bond movie?

The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.

[005162520]

Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

don't laugh too hard

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

.

[Ashley Fang 2G]

Hahahah

[Ashley Fang 2G]

.

[JOtomo1F]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[Anna Wu 1H]

What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium.

[Anna Wu 1H]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer?
The bartender looks up and says, for you no charge.

[Anna Wu 1H]

I told a good chemistry joke, but there was no reaction):

[Anna Wu 1H]

Why are chemists so good at solving problems?




They have all the solutions.

[Anna Wu 1H]

Exothermic Reactions? I studied them before they were cool.

[Claire Grover 3G]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium!

[nicole-2B]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Melvin Reputana 1L]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[Cassandra_1K]

I don't trust atoms, I heard they make up everything...

[Amy Xiao 1I]

Why are noble gases good at singing?

Because their resonance is the most stable!

[Amy Xiao 1I]

Do you know any good jokes about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO

[Oduwole 1E]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[Oduwole 1E]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…..but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[Oduwole 1E]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY.

[Oduwole 1E]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[Oduwole 1E]

Why are chemists great for solving problems?

Because they always have a solution!

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

“What do you do with a sick chemist?”
“If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.”

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me. That’s a salt.

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

A conversation between two atoms:
I think I’ve lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m positive.

[GEOVANNAO_3F]

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".

[GEOVANNAO_3F]

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".

[ShastaB4C]

[005162520]

What did one ion say to the other?

I got my ion you.

[NRodgers_1C]

Where does an electron in the s block live?

An eS-state!

[Liliana Aguas 3G]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?



He just couldn't put it down.

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

.

[Natalie Benitez 1E]

Q: Why didn't Na and Cl relationship workout?
A: Because they were salty together.

[Natalie Benitez 1E]

Q: What's the best thing to learn about equilibrium?
A: Nothing changes.

[plopezcordon_4C]

Nice little picture of a joke I found

[plopezcordon_4C]

These cat jokes are my favorite

[Naren_Ramesh_4F]

I don't trust atoms, they make everything up.

[zachary_nhem_4I]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B]

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

[nicole-2B]

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

[nicole-2B]

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

[Jared Khoo 1G]

Me: Hey Siri, can you give me the formula for Nitric Acid?
Siri: NO
Me: ...