Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
-
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:21 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down!
He just couldn’t put it down!
-
- Posts: 109
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 12:22 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here is one i found that sent me: Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why cylinders smarter than you?
A:Because they are graduated cylinder
A:Because they are graduated cylinder
-
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK
This one is the best
It went OK
This one is the best
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A shopper walks into a supermarket and asks an employee,
Shopper: Would you happen to have any sodium hypobromite?
Employee: NaBrO
Shopper: Would you happen to have any sodium hypobromite?
Employee: NaBrO
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This isn’t a serious question, but is Schrodinger’s equation related to Schrodingers cat from the Big Bang Theory?
-
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 12:17 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?
Change your name to "et al".
Change your name to "et al".
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Don't ask for chemistry jokes, because you'll never get a reaction.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Water droplets ask, "Hey oil! Wanna hang out?"
Oil responds "Well I can't mix with you guys."
Water exclaims, "Hydrophobe!"
Oil responds "Well I can't mix with you guys."
Water exclaims, "Hydrophobe!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Right there on the periodic table! Do you see it??"
- "Oh my GAWWD! I can't believe it!"
"It's the element of surprise"
- "Oh my GAWWD! I can't believe it!"
"It's the element of surprise"
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:20 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?????????????????????
It was CoRnY.................. LOL
It was CoRnY.................. LOL
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:20 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Ok my last one was actually corny(hehe) so here's another:
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen???
NaBrO
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen???
NaBrO
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?
Because she is a Female.
Because she is a Female.
-
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 67
- Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:17 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 56
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Schrödinger and Heisenberg are driving down the motorway when a cop pulls them over.
He walks up to the window and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but i know exactly where I was."
The cop, thinking that such a weird response deserves further investigation tells Heisenberg to open the boot of the car. He looks in and sees a dead cat.
"Do you know that there's a dead cat in here?' he shouts.
Schrödinger replies, "Well, I do now!"
He walks up to the window and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but i know exactly where I was."
The cop, thinking that such a weird response deserves further investigation tells Heisenberg to open the boot of the car. He looks in and sees a dead cat.
"Do you know that there's a dead cat in here?' he shouts.
Schrödinger replies, "Well, I do now!"
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 12:17 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation Anxiety!
Separation Anxiety!
-
- Posts: 137
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:16 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one photon say to the other?
I'm sick of your interference!
I'm sick of your interference!
-
- Posts: 108
- Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Re: Chemistry Jokes
Jenna Kovsky 1I wrote:I heard Potassium and Oxygen went on a date....It went OK
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond
My high school chemistry had the first joke up all year and it always made me laugh!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Adelpha Chan 1B wrote:Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO.
This was such a good joke. Thanks for the laugh.
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:20 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In spirit of the topic we're learning:))
What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?
...... Foe-tons
What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?
...... Foe-tons
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, a**hole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists."
am I cool now?
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, a**hole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists."
am I cool now?
-
- Posts: 115
- Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
getting this discussion points while laughing at all the other jokes.
getting this discussion points while laughing at all the other jokes.
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:17 am
-
- Posts: 99
- Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:17 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Question: How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?
Answer: Change your name to "et al".
'Ba dum tsssssst'
Hope everyone is having a good weekend and lets get through this course together! (:
Answer: Change your name to "et al".
'Ba dum tsssssst'
Hope everyone is having a good weekend and lets get through this course together! (:
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
-
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Using E=hv to find the frequency?
Nah bro, just Einstein checking your vibes
Nah bro, just Einstein checking your vibes
-
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why is Helium the best audience for a comedy show?
Because it always says He He He.
Because it always says He He He.
-
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you seen the new James Bond movie?
The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.
The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it is in the ground state.
Because it is in the ground state.
-
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 102
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
-
- Posts: 102
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium.
If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium.
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer?
The bartender looks up and says, for you no charge.
The bartender looks up and says, for you no charge.
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
They have all the solutions.
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
-
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are noble gases good at singing?
Because their resonance is the most stable!
Because their resonance is the most stable!
-
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…..but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
It was CoRnY.
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
Because they always have a solution!
Because they always have a solution!
-
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react
-
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
“What do you do with a sick chemist?”
“If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.”
“If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.”
-
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A conversation between two atoms:
I think I’ve lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m positive.
I think I’ve lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m positive.
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".
-
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".
-
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2019 12:15 am
-
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:20 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
-
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why didn't Na and Cl relationship workout?
A: Because they were salty together.
A: Because they were salty together.
-
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's the best thing to learn about equilibrium?
A: Nothing changes.
A: Nothing changes.
-
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Nice little picture of a joke I found
- Attachments
-
- quantum jokes.jpg (8.17 KiB) Viewed 14895 times
-
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am
-
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:18 am
-
- Posts: 56
- Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:15 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.
A: Separation anxiety.
-
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:16 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Me: Hey Siri, can you give me the formula for Nitric Acid?
Siri: NO
Me: ...
Siri: NO
Me: ...
Return to “Student Social/Study Group”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests