Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Jared Khoo 1G · Postby **Jared Khoo 1G** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:53 pm

Don't throw sodium chloride around. It's a salt.

Jared Khoo 1G · Postby **Jared Khoo 1G** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:55 pm

OMG did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 6:47 pm

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:42 pm

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"

TYun_1C · Postby **TYun_1C** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 11:53 pm

nicole-4d wrote:A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"

hahahhaha this one made me chuckle

kevinolvera1j · Postby **kevinolvera1j** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 9:53 pm

nice joke,
Helium Helium Helium

faithkim1L · Postby **faithkim1L** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 10:06 pm

All the chemistry jokes argon!

Ixcel Guzman 4A · Postby **Ixcel Guzman 4A** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 10:43 pm

I asked my homie if he wanted to go to a party on Halloween and he said "Sodium Bromine Oxygen" :((((( because he had chem 14 A lecture on the next day.

Chetas Holagunda 3H · Postby **Chetas Holagunda 3H** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:25 pm

How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

JOtomo1F · Postby **JOtomo1F** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 2:49 pm

16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?

Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na Batman!

kendal mccarthy · Postby **kendal mccarthy** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:15 pm

This is kind of a joke but my class and I made a periodic table with pictures of literal moles, like the animal, and gave it to my teacher for April fools in high school. Kinda funny she was dying laughing.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:19 pm

H20 is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:25 pm

silver walks up to gold at the bar and says "AU, get out of here."

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:10 pm

Two Chemists walk into a bar, one says to the bartender, “I’ll have a H20 please” the other chemist says to the bartender “I’ll have H20 too.” The second chemist dies. This is because the bartender misunderstood him and thought he said H202

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:11 pm

Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:11 pm

What's a pirates favourite amino acid?

Arrrrrrrginine

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:12 pm

A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"

To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:12 pm

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:28 pm

A. Do you wanna hear a Chemistry joke?

B. Na

A. Helium Helium Helium
(He He He)

Venus_Hagan 2L · Postby **Venus_Hagan 2L** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:33 pm

Did you hear about oxygen's date with potassium ??

It went OK.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:52 pm

Whenever I try to tell a Chemistry joke to my deaf cousin there isn't a reaction. )=

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:57 pm

I started calling my boyfriend Atom because he always made everything up when I asked who he was with late evenings.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:03 pm

Haven't you heard?
Word on the block is that my chemistry jokes are Sodium good! He He He He

Brian_Ho_2B · Postby **Brian_Ho_2B** » Mon Nov 04, 2019 12:39 pm

Carbon dioxide to his therapist: "It was a horrible experience. I had to travel up some human's disgusting, mucus riddled trachea. Life sucks."

*Therapist puts down his clipboard revealing that he is methane*: "Buddy, you think your life was hard? You're lucky to have traveled through a trachea instead."

Tall Girl: Try wearing size 13 nikes for men.

NRodgers_1C · Postby **NRodgers_1C** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:15 am

What did the chemistry teacher say to deter his students from cheating during the test?

"I got my i-on you"

Lauren Tindall · Postby **Lauren Tindall** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:29 pm

What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.

Baoying Li 1B · Postby **Baoying Li 1B** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:36 pm

Once I told Chemistry a joke, there's no reaction.

AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B · Postby **AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:12 pm

A covalent bond yelled at an ionic bond - Didn't anyone ever teach you how to share??

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:44 pm

Q: What kind of fish is made up of only 2 sodium atoms?

A: 2Na

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:47 pm

Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium?

A: Na

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:26 pm

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:34 pm

Deena Doan 2F · Postby **Deena Doan 2F** » Wed Nov 06, 2019 11:34 pm

So... when's the midterm?

emma brinton_3B · Postby **emma brinton_3B** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:35 am

i try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction

Veronica_Lubera_2A · Postby **Veronica_Lubera_2A** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:48 am

What did the chemical agent say?

My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Ayush Ray 1I · Postby **Ayush Ray 1I** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 10:16 am

My midterm grade

Cassandra_1K · Postby **Cassandra_1K** » Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:30 pm

What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 2:36 pm

kevinolvera1j wrote:nice joke,
Helium Helium Helium

This made me hehehe!! haha

TYun_1C · Postby **TYun_1C** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:00 pm

Chemistry majors be like I got a chemistry community due this Friday

Yailin Romo 4G · Postby **Yailin Romo 4G** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:43 pm

did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK

Yailin Romo 4G · Postby **Yailin Romo 4G** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:45 pm

What should you do with a dead chemist? Barium!

Yailin Romo 4G · Postby **Yailin Romo 4G** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:45 pm

What element is a girls best friend? Carbon

Yailin Romo 4G · Postby **Yailin Romo 4G** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:46 pm

What is the most important chemistry rule? Never lick the spoon

Yailin Romo 4G · Postby **Yailin Romo 4G** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 6:48 pm

What did one titration say to one another? Let's meet at the endpoint.

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:09 pm

I try to tell chemistry jokes...

but there is no reaction...

aha

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:10 pm

How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically

aha...

DarrenKim_1H · Postby **DarrenKim_1H** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 1:40 pm

Group 1 Elements Be Like:

What If I...gave you my one valence electron...to form a complete octet...aha ha, just kidding...unless?

Naren_Ramesh_4F · Postby **Naren_Ramesh_4F** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 5:34 pm

Salt is sodium funny!

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:19 pm

Q: What is "H I J K L M N O"?

A: H2O

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:21 pm

Q: Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?

A: He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm

Q: What did silver say to gold at the bar?

A: "Au, get outta here!"

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:23 pm

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:24 pm

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

KatherineValdez_4B · Postby **KatherineValdez_4B** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:19 pm

He He He
(laughing gas)

KatherineValdez_4B · Postby **KatherineValdez_4B** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:20 pm

Oduwole 1H wrote:I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

I love this!!!

005162520 · Postby **005162520** » Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:21 pm

I try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:52 pm

What is the chemical formula of coffee?

CoFe2

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:53 pm

What did one charged atom say to the other?

I've got my ion you.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:53 pm

What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:54 pm

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:54 pm

What is the chemical formula for sea water?

CH2O

ngarcia · Postby **ngarcia** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:14 pm

I told a chemistry joke...

there was no reaction.

ngarcia · Postby **ngarcia** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:21 pm

Laughing Gas: He He He

ngarcia · Postby **ngarcia** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:22 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was a polar bear.

ngarcia · Postby **ngarcia** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:23 pm

Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Brian J Cheng 1I · Postby **Brian J Cheng 1I** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:52 pm

An excited electron in this sense may be deadly

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:18 pm

When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Mon Nov 11, 2019 3:20 pm

What do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B · Postby **AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B** » Tue Nov 12, 2019 9:34 am

Old Chemist One-Liner:
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:00 am

Julieta Serobyan4D · Postby **Julieta Serobyan4D** » Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:44 pm

What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

Julieta Serobyan4D · Postby **Julieta Serobyan4D** » Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:45 pm

Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? A: Fear of utility bills.

Julieta Serobyan4D · Postby **Julieta Serobyan4D** » Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:52 pm

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react

Julieta Serobyan4D · Postby **Julieta Serobyan4D** » Wed Nov 13, 2019 10:52 pm

How did the chemist survive the famine? He subsisted on titrations

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:13 am

Hey know any good jokes about Sodium?

Na

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:14 am

Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:14 am

Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:15 am

Are you a diatomic molecule? Because you attract nothing.

Anna Wu 1H · Postby **Anna Wu 1H** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:15 am

Two atoms bump into each other.’I think I lost an electron.’ The other asks: ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies: ‘I’m positive.’

AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B · Postby **AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:25 am

VSEPR jokes

AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B · Postby **AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:26 am

Q. How did the molecular spy introduce himself?
A. My name is Bond.. Covalent Bond.

Jocelyn Thorp 1A · Postby **Jocelyn Thorp 1A** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:18 pm

Ayush Ray 1I wrote:My midterm grade

this is like the SI derived unit for frequency.

it hertz

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:08 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

ZevMarx-Kahn3C · Postby **ZevMarx-Kahn3C** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:29 pm

What kind of fish is salty?

2 Na!

ZevMarx-Kahn3C · Postby **ZevMarx-Kahn3C** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:30 pm

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.

ZevMarx-Kahn3C · Postby **ZevMarx-Kahn3C** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:34 pm

Wish I'd seen this one when we were still doing quantum...

Salma Fawzi 4G · Postby **Salma Fawzi 4G** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:02 pm

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a store.... The cashier says "OH SNaP!"

Salma Fawzi 4G · Postby **Salma Fawzi 4G** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:04 pm

Students ask: Why can you never trust atoms?
Someone's response: Because they make up everything

Salma Fawzi 4G · Postby **Salma Fawzi 4G** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:06 pm

What sport was Avogadro best at?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!

Salma Fawzi 4G · Postby **Salma Fawzi 4G** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:08 pm

What did one charged atom say to the other.....
I got my ion you!

Salma Fawzi 4G · Postby **Salma Fawzi 4G** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:43 pm

An optimist sees the glass half full and a pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does a chemist see it?...
A chemist sees it completely full: half with liquid and half with air!

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:43 pm

Why should you go drinking with neutrons?
Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:45 pm

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. The bartender said, "OH SNaP!"

kendal mccarthy · Postby **kendal mccarthy** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:22 pm

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

~laboratory retreivers~

kendal mccarthy · Postby **kendal mccarthy** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:23 pm

How often do I tell chemistry jokes on here?

~periodically~

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:57 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:57 pm

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

GEOVANNAO_3F · Postby **GEOVANNAO_3F** » Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:58 pm

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

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