Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!
To neutralize the enemy's base!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
nicole-4d wrote:A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge"
hahahhaha this one made me chuckle
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked my homie if he wanted to go to a party on Halloween and he said "Sodium Bromine Oxygen" :((((( because he had chem 14 A lecture on the next day.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na Batman!
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na Batman!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This is kind of a joke but my class and I made a periodic table with pictures of literal moles, like the animal, and gave it to my teacher for April fools in high school. Kinda funny she was dying laughing.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
silver walks up to gold at the bar and says "AU, get out of here."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two Chemists walk into a bar, one says to the bartender, “I’ll have a H20 please” the other chemist says to the bartender “I’ll have H20 too.” The second chemist dies. This is because the bartender misunderstood him and thought he said H202
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A. Do you wanna hear a Chemistry joke?
B. Na
A. Helium Helium Helium
(He He He)
B. Na
A. Helium Helium Helium
(He He He)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Whenever I try to tell a Chemistry joke to my deaf cousin there isn't a reaction. )=
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I started calling my boyfriend Atom because he always made everything up when I asked who he was with late evenings.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Haven't you heard?
Word on the block is that my chemistry jokes are Sodium good! He He He He
Word on the block is that my chemistry jokes are Sodium good! He He He He
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Carbon dioxide to his therapist: "It was a horrible experience. I had to travel up some human's disgusting, mucus riddled trachea. Life sucks."
*Therapist puts down his clipboard revealing that he is methane*: "Buddy, you think your life was hard? You're lucky to have traveled through a trachea instead."
Tall Girl: Try wearing size 13 nikes for men.
*Therapist puts down his clipboard revealing that he is methane*: "Buddy, you think your life was hard? You're lucky to have traveled through a trachea instead."
Tall Girl: Try wearing size 13 nikes for men.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemistry teacher say to deter his students from cheating during the test?
"I got my i-on you"
"I got my i-on you"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A covalent bond yelled at an ionic bond - Didn't anyone ever teach you how to share??
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemical agent say?
My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
kevinolvera1j wrote:nice joke,
Helium Helium Helium
This made me hehehe!! haha
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry majors be like I got a chemistry community due this Friday
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one titration say to one another? Let's meet at the endpoint.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Group 1 Elements Be Like:
What If I...gave you my one valence electron...to form a complete octet...aha ha, just kidding...unless?
What If I...gave you my one valence electron...to form a complete octet...aha ha, just kidding...unless?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
A: He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did silver say to gold at the bar?
A: "Au, get outta here!"
A: "Au, get outta here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oduwole 1H wrote:I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
I love this!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.
Because it was a polar bear.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda
C over lambda
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Old Chemist One-Liner:
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? A: Fear of utility bills.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist survive the famine? He subsisted on titrations
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms bump into each other.’I think I lost an electron.’ The other asks: ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies: ‘I’m positive.’
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q. How did the molecular spy introduce himself?
A. My name is Bond.. Covalent Bond.
A. My name is Bond.. Covalent Bond.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Ayush Ray 1I wrote:My midterm grade
this is like the SI derived unit for frequency.
it hertz
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a store.... The cashier says "OH SNaP!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Students ask: Why can you never trust atoms?
Someone's response: Because they make up everything
Someone's response: Because they make up everything
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What sport was Avogadro best at?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An optimist sees the glass half full and a pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does a chemist see it?...
A chemist sees it completely full: half with liquid and half with air!
A chemist sees it completely full: half with liquid and half with air!
Last edited by Salma Fawzi 4G on Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why should you go drinking with neutrons?
Because wherever they go, there's no charge!
Because wherever they go, there's no charge!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. The bartender said, "OH SNaP!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.
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