Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why should you go shopping with neutrons?
A: Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!
A: Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.
A: I heard they really bonded
A: I heard they really bonded
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How Dreamwork's chemistry movie will be named?
A: How to train your Argon!
A: How to train your Argon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
A: Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was 6.62607004 × 10-34 m2 kg / s super ripped?
because he did a lot of Plank
because he did a lot of Plank
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Post Midterm Trauma
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did sulfuric acid say when pyridine took one of her protons? "Hey, that's amine thing to do!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two protons bump into each other at a frat party, one proton frat-boy says to the other, 'No HOMO'.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Activation Energy: the total energy found in one (1) cup of coffee.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, " Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but at least I know where I am"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphourous walk into a room, everyone says OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Water molecule: Hey oil wanna hang out?
Oil molecule: I can't mix with you guys
Water molecule 2: You're such a hydrophobe!
Oil molecule: I can't mix with you guys
Water molecule 2: You're such a hydrophobe!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?
Because it was charged with battery.
Because it was charged with battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Not a joke but it belongs here: What's the name of the absolute banger of a song Lavelle threw on after lecture today?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
McKenna_4A wrote:Not a joke but it belongs here: What's the name of the absolute banger of a song Lavelle threw on after lecture today?
I played Hazey by Glass Animals.
:-)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A man was frozen to absolute zero. But don't worry - he's 0K now :D
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Atom A said, "I lost an electron"
Atom B asked, "Are you sure?"
Atom A said "Yeah, I'm positive"
Atom B said, "Well, you better keep an ion (eye on) them"
Atom B asked, "Are you sure?"
Atom A said "Yeah, I'm positive"
Atom B said, "Well, you better keep an ion (eye on) them"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one!
Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Answer: Because they have all the solutions.
Answer: Because they have all the solutions.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.
Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!
Na.
Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Who’s the best at making bad jokes about iodine and americium? I Am
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I keep laughing at the jokes on here cuz they are all sodium funny !!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically
It’s morning time, up and atom!
It’s morning time, up and atom!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Random Person: Why do you react violently when we put you in H20?
Chemistry Cat: Because my race contains iron, lithium and neon = FeLiNe origins.
Chemistry Cat: Because my race contains iron, lithium and neon = FeLiNe origins.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Activation Energy, n. The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Diglyceride, n. What you scream when you're trying to kill a glyceride.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do.
A: Breaking up is hard to do.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera.
All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!"
The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."
All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!"
The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: To reduce his carbon footprint.
A: To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Albert was a chemist. Albert is no more.
What he thought was H2O. Was H2SO4
What he thought was H2O. Was H2SO4
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My two kids, Nitrogen and silver want that new Xbox, their always NAg’ing for it.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?
I hear he was 0k.
I hear he was 0k.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate-determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I'd like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O."
The second chemist says, "I'll have an H2O too."... and he died.
The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O."
The second chemist says, "I'll have an H2O too."... and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
A: Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.
A: Separation anxiety.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate)?
Answer: double time.
Answer: double time.
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