Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
We had a fun review session on Friday November 7 and I encourage all students to view it as there were many excellent Q&A.
I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:
Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!
Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.
I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:
Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!
Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I heard Potassium and Oxygen went on a date....It went OK
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond
Re: Chemistry Jokes
At the end of the semester, a chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab. A student promptly raised his hand and said, "Never lick the spoon."
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg replies "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was." The cop, now suspicious, proceeds to search the car. Upon opening the trunk he exclaims "Hey, you have a dead cat back here!" to which Schrodinger replies "Well now I do! Thanks."
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg replies "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was." The cop, now suspicious, proceeds to search the car. Upon opening the trunk he exclaims "Hey, you have a dead cat back here!" to which Schrodinger replies "Well now I do! Thanks."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Here are some more jokes!
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Great jokes.
Friday December 5th will be Student Joke Day.
Come tell your favorite chemistry joke to the class!
Friday December 5th will be Student Joke Day.
Come tell your favorite chemistry joke to the class!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Friend: "Johnny, why have you been so upset and frustrated lately?"
Johnny: "Well, I have taken two years and a quarter of chemistry, and I have yet to get this girl's significant digits."
Johnny: "Well, I have taken two years and a quarter of chemistry, and I have yet to get this girl's significant digits."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Two friends walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies.
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
In honor of joke day and the quiz we just took:
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
wait for it..
A ferrous wheel.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
wait for it..
A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.
How ionic.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
An atom says, "I think I lost an electron." His friend asks, "Are you sure?" and the atom replies, "I'm positive."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Where does a chemist put the dishes?
A: In the Zinc, of course!
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees!"
Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not! It's not even Catholic!!!
A: In the Zinc, of course!
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees!"
Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not! It's not even Catholic!!!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Heisenberg calls up Pauli and says, "I have an idea that will revolutionize quantum physics!" to which Pauli replies, "Are you certain?!"
Heisenberg says, "Not at all!"
Heisenberg says, "Not at all!"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
More excellent jokes this quarter!
:-)
Maybe someone wants to tell one at the end of class on Fridays!
:-)
Maybe someone wants to tell one at the end of class on Fridays!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Why should you never give up studying chemistry even if you feel like you're going to fail the final?
A: Because chem-is-try! <3
A: Because chem-is-try! <3
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A neutron walks into a bar.
Before leaving, he asks the bartender, "How much?"
The bartender responds, "No charge."
Before leaving, he asks the bartender, "How much?"
The bartender responds, "No charge."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Anna Nordstrom 1A wrote:Enjoy the joke!
Anna introduce yourself at the beginning of Chem 14B!
:-)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Jacqueline Zhang 1A wrote:Why is the pH of Youtube so stable?
Because it constantly buffers.
Clever!
Introduce yourself at the beginning of Chem 14B.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A little fun while studying for the final,
-What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
~A KNiFe
-Where;s the best place to buy potassium?
~K-Mart
-What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
~A KNiFe
-Where;s the best place to buy potassium?
~K-Mart
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
A: Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
A: Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why is an electron always depressed?
It's quant-numb and uncertain of its place in the world.
It's quant-numb and uncertain of its place in the world.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
me when I don't get enough attention: Sublimation
follow up for more chemistry jokes
follow up for more chemistry jokes
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
waiting for this to become relevant
follow up for more funny chemistry references
follow up for more funny chemistry references
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A Chemistry lab is like a party...
Some drop acid.. while others drop the base.
Happy Friday ( :
(not original content)
Some drop acid.. while others drop the base.
Happy Friday ( :
(not original content)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
First Law people...good stuff
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
A: its CoRn Y
A: its CoRn Y
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
These chemistry jokes are sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 "guacas." One might even call it... Avocado's Number!
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 "guacas." One might even call it... Avocado's Number!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Sulfur and Oxygen are best friends, but they lived far from each other. How did oxygen chat with his friend?
A: He used his Sulfone
A: He used his Sulfone
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Which one are you?
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
- Wanna hear a joke about potassium?
"K"
- Why did the White Bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar! :)
- After this joke, I expect a chemistry major to say, "Hey girl, Iodate you!"
- Do I have any Sodium Hypobromite for the lab, you ask?
NaHBrO
"K"
- Why did the White Bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar! :)
- After this joke, I expect a chemistry major to say, "Hey girl, Iodate you!"
- Do I have any Sodium Hypobromite for the lab, you ask?
NaHBrO
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide and seek. Einstein begins to count to ten. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!” Newton replies “You didn’t find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What did the scientists say when he saw 2 isotopes of Helium?
HeHe
This person went to the doctor concerned over a mole they had on their skin. The doctor asked what the mole looked like and the person responded "6.02x10^23".
HeHe
This person went to the doctor concerned over a mole they had on their skin. The doctor asked what the mole looked like and the person responded "6.02x10^23".
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why do chemist call Helium, Curium, & Barium the Medical Elements?
BECAUSE, if you can't Helium, or Curium, you Barium!
BECAUSE, if you can't Helium, or Curium, you Barium!
Re: Chemistry Jokes
What's the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2
What about the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
What about the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Re: Chemistry Jokes
This class might be difficult; we will have alkynes of trouble.
By the way, I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
By the way, I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Have you heard about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
One property of liquid is that it can fit into containers of any shape and automatically takes up all the space.
So...cat is a liquid!!
So...cat is a liquid!!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why is Willard Gibbs considered to be the nicest scientist?
....
Because he Gibbs free energy!!!!!!
....
Because he Gibbs free energy!!!!!!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
haha
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
The periodic table is incomplete....
Because only Chuck Norris knows the element of surprise >;)
Because only Chuck Norris knows the element of surprise >;)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
A:C over lambda.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why did the acid go to the gym?
-To become a buffer solution!
Why did the big white bear dissolve in water?
-Because he was polar.
What do dipoles say in passing?
-Have you got a moment?
(no original content)
-To become a buffer solution!
Why did the big white bear dissolve in water?
-Because he was polar.
What do dipoles say in passing?
-Have you got a moment?
(no original content)
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