Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[505352202]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

Lose and electron? Gotta keep an ion it.

[805377003]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[805377003]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

[805377003]

Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

[Janna Shakiba]

Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date...OMg!

[Janna Shakiba]

Two chemists go to a bar. The bartender asks them for their order. The first chemist says "I'll have H20," and the second chemist says "I'll have H20 too!" The bartender makes them their drinks and the second chemist drops dead. The first chemist accuses the bartender of poisoning him.

The bartender replies, "What?! You ordered one H20 and one H202!"

[vbarian27]

What did the other elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!

[vbarian27]

That joke was sodium funny!

[vbarian27]

I slapped my neon that joke!

[vbarian27]

Water says to oil, wanna hang out! Oil says, he can't! Water then yells at oil, hydrophobe!

[vbarian27]

Chemistry is Fluorine Uranium Nitrogen

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.

[Taha 2D]

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium
Me: 0mg

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Zainab Jamali 1H]

I would post another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon :)

[Emma Healy 2J]

Are you a CATion? Because you're always so PAWsitive!

[305614361]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[Quinton Sprague 1A]

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

[Melanie Lin 3E]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
.
.
.
Barium :(

[AliAsh 1H]

I tried to think of an original chem joke, but I cant Zn of one

[Darren1j]

The kids were mad at their teacher because they wanted to know why they're answer was incorrect. The chemistry teacher replied, " I am a chem teacher, if I don't have a solution, I'll make one up!."

[Darren1j]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu Te

[Becca Nelson 3F]

I tell a lot of chem jokes, but I never get a reaction!

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the bar?

A: Because he got Avogadro's number!

[Ethan Laureano 3H]

I'm not sure if this was put already but it is my favorite chemistry joke.

"If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys."

[John_Tran_3J]

Man: Are there any good chemistry jokes out there?
Me: I don't zinc so?

[Jagveer 1I]

What should you do is no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[alebenavides]

two chemists go into a bar. the first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." the second one says "I think ill have an H2O too"

[Jalaia Jackson 2G]

What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?
-Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

[Joseph_Armani_3K]

I like talking to particles, but sometimes they just wave, and it gets really annoying.

[Shana Patel 1C]

Chemistry teacher - What is the chemical formula of water?
Student - HIJKLMNO
Chemistry teacher - What are you talking about??
Student - Yesterday you said it was H to O

[Moura Girgis 1F]

I see that everyone is making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Kaili Valenzuela 2B]

I asked the guy siting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite...
He said NaBrO

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

[Jonathan3B]

Q:Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A:Because it was polar.

[Taha 2D]

Why should you never trust atoms??

because they make up everything!

[Jade Lastra 3B]

Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

[305614361]

Enjoy the Jokes:

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

[AliAsh 1H]

I ain't never seen two metals forming an ionic bond. its always one of em gotta be an ugly nonmetal

[Jacob Schwarz-Discussion 3I]

What did one ion say to the other?





I've got my ion you.

[Mehreen 3I]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Day Preciado 1H]

Y'all make my day!!!

[LexyDenaburg_3A]

What's the show cesium and Iodine love watching?

CSI

[isha dis3d]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number.

[Anya Holbrook 1E]

Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Q: Why can’t you believe anything atoms say?
A: They make up everything.

[Darren1j]

have you heard the new remix of girls just want to have fun? It goes something like "Hydrogens' just want to have FON..."

[Nicolette Simoni 3L]

What did the Chemistry professor say to the students wanting to ace chemistry?

Keep your ION the prize!!

[Nicolette Simoni 3L]

What did the organic compound say when it discovered it could be used as a fertilizer?

UREAka!


(thank you sapling for the inspiration)

[Nicolette Simoni 3L]

What did the F atom say to the P atom after they ate a whole bowl of popcorn?

Get some flossforus!

[Taylor K 2D]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[Taylor K 2D]

What did silver say to gold at the bar?

"Ay you (Au), get outta here!"

[isha dis3d]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? One molar solution

[Vivian Chang 3L]

"Have you heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out?"

" ... O Mg"

[NayeliPlayas_1L]

Why are Chemists so great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions!

[JakeSaum_1A]

Anyone know any jokes about Sodium?

Na

[Kaili Valenzuela 2B]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
"OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

[Zainab Jamali 1H]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light." :)

[Zainab Jamali 1H]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Shana Patel 1C]

All the good chemistry jokes ARGON?
I don't ZINC so!

[Jillian Labador 3E]

I ain't never seen two sigma bonds. Always one of them gotta be a pi bond.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

[505598869]

I think my hopes of getting an A in this class Argon at this point.

[505598869]

I ain't never seen two electrons with the same 4 quantum numbers. Always one of them gotta be different.

[Shannon Moore 2L]

I ain't never seen two resonance structures with all the bonds in the same place. It's always one of em gotta be different.

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

I don't trust atoms...I heard that they make up everything!

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

I would make a chemistry joke, but I heard the good ones Argon

[Quinton Sprague 1A]

Chem Community Joke.jpeg (10.48 KiB) Viewed 14281 times

[idella 1D]

what did the other elements say to hydrogen?
what a loner

[idella 1D]

what type of dogs do chemists have? laboratory retrievers

[StephanieGrigorian2J]

Anyone know any good jokes about sodium?

Na.

[Nadya Higgins 3F]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[305614361]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium
A: It went OK

Q: Why can you never trust atoms
A: They make up everything!

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Michelle Nguyen 3F]

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

[LexyDenaburg_3A]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar!

[Alison Perkins 2B]

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

[Alison Perkins 2B]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates!

[Becca Nelson 3F]

When do I tell bad chem jokes?

Only periodically

[705340227]

Me: Do you want a banana?
You: No.
Me: K.

(bananas have a lot of potassium and the symbol for potassium is K)

[Jade Lastra 3B]

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Daria Obukhova 2B]

What did the molecule say to the atom after he got in trouble?

I’ve got my ion you.

[Elena Chen 2E]

[vbarian27]

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

[vbarian27]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[vbarian27]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[AdilaAhmed3I]

How do Mr. and Mrs. Claus introduce their son?

"This is Arsenic"

(arsenic - our son Nick)

[Sarah Huang 3A]

Why did the Wicked Witch of the West dissolve upon contact with water?

Because she was hella salty.


(Ionic bonds dissolve in water...:) )
(You may sue me later)

[Kelly Singh]

Why should you go drinking with neutrons?

When you go, there's no charge!

[Kelly Singh]

Why did Avogadro love golf?

He always got a MOLE in one!

[Kelly Singh]

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

I laughed at this, thank you

[Arti_Patel_3H]

[Savana Maxfield 3F]

For those already in the Christmas spirit:

What do Cobalt and Aluminum get for Christmas?
CoAl

[Arti_Patel_3H]

I only use Sulfur (S), Argon (Ar), Calcium (Ca), and Samarium (Sm) [SArCaSm] periodically.

[Emily_Stenzler_2H]

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Chemist: The class contains
50% H2O (l)
39% N2 (g)
10.5% O2 (g)
0.44% Ar (g)
0.06 % CO2 (g)

[Moura Girgis 1F]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2