Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution

[Courtney Situ 2B]

I wouldn't say this is a joke, but I remember thinking it was kinda funny so I just wanted to share a chem experience! When I was first learning nomenclature in my chemistry class, the teacher joked that our local lake was full of dihydrogen monoxide. My whole class started saying things like "Dihydrogen monoxide? Isn't that poisonous? I've heard of that in the news once." Then she retaught that section.

[alebenavides]

what should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
keep telling them until you get a reaction

[alebenavides]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table.. but I realized I wasn't quite in my element

[isha dis3d]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Emily_Stenzler_2H]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[JakeSaum_1A]

A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says "no thanks. I'm traveling light."

[JakeSaum_1A]

Did you hear about the guy who was cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why are chemists good at solving problems? They have all the solutions

[Becca Nelson 3F]

What do you do with a dead chemist...

Barium!

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

I try to tell chemistry jokes, but sometimes there's no reaction

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

Want to hear a joke about element 116? Uuh...

[Vanessa Perez]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na

get it? (tuna)

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

I'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

[Kelly Singh]

Why did the noble gas cry?

His friends Argon

[Namratha Gujje]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Jalaia Jackson 2G]

Why are chemists so great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions.

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Summer_Corona 3L]

What show do Cesium and Iodine love to watch together?
CsI

(I hope no one has recently posted this joke)

[305614361]

Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Q: Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: It was CoRnY.

[tholz11]

i can only tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon )-:

[idella 1D]

Why shouldn't you drink water while studying?

It decreases your concentration :)

[vbarian27]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[vbarian27]

How about the chemical workers … are they unionized?

[vbarian27]

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

[vbarian27]

Q: What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?
A: CoFe2

[vbarian27]

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

Are you copper tellurium, because you’re CuTe.

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

I’m out of chemistry jokes, I should Zinc for a new one.

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

[Darren1j]

What is a cation afraid of?
.... A dogion.

[Michelle Magana 2B]

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything!

[lauren_tran_1L]

Do you like chemistry?
Na

[Mari Williams 1K]

What do you call a C₆H₁₂O₆ molecule that can use its right and left hands equally well?
Ambidextrose

[Nicolette Simoni 3L]

With Finals Week approaching, here's a "cursed meme" to raise your serotonin, C₁₀H₁₂N₂O. Don't work yourself too hard and be sure to take breaks!!

[Sid Panda 3A]

Me after both midterms:

Br(omine)U(ranium)H(ydrogen) Moment

[Breanna Ouyang 1I]

Heisenberg was cruising down the highway one day when he gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer gets out of his car, and Heisenberg can tell he's quite angry. The officer approaches the window fuming.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?!" the officer asks.

"No" replied Heisenberg, "But I know where I am."

[isha dis3d]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Allan Nguyen 2G]

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellboy asks, "Can I take your bags?" The photon answers, "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Q: Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
A: Because its a salt.

[Juwan_Madaki_3K]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Becca Nelson 3F]

why are chemists so great at solving problems?

because they have so many solutions!

[JakeSaum_1A]

I tried to come up with a joke about the periodic table but I was way out of my element

[Kaili Valenzuela 2B]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid

[Mackenzie Fernandez 3G]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
:)

[Kristina Krivenko 3I]

A little throwback to when classes were in-person and we did labs :"

[Katie Phan 1K]

choose your fighter

[Emily_Stenzler_2H]

:-)

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

[vbarian27]

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything

[vbarian27]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid

[vbarian27]

I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

[vbarian27]

Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

[305614361]

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They’re cheaper than day rates.

Q: I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
A: He said NaBrO

[vbarian27]

Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

[805377003]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[805377003]

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

[805377003]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[805377003]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[805377003]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

[Shana Patel 1C]

Did you know that oxygen went on a second date with potassium?
How'd it go?
It went OK2

[ShinwooKim_3E]

What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C? Nothing, you're perfectly 0K!

[LaurenChoi_1J]

Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
NO!

[LaurenChoi_1J]

If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed!

[LaurenChoi_1J]

What's your reaction when you find out oxygen and magnesium are dating?
OMg!!

[LaurenChoi_1J]

What did all the other elements say to hydrogen?
What a loner!

[Nick P 3D]

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first orders a water. The second says, "I'll have an H20, too!" The second chemist dies

[Elena Chen 2E]

[StephanieGrigorian2J]

I blew up my chemistry experiment.
Oxidants happen.

[AHUNT_1A]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[AHUNT_1A]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

[AHUNT_1A]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.

“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[AHUNT_1A]

I would tell another chemistry joke…

…but all the good ones Argon.

[Gabe_Ek 1G]

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
Thorium.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

[keely_bales_1f]

What do you call and acid with an attitude?



A - meano - acid :)

[SophiaJenny3I]

What's a chemist's favorite dog?
A Laboratory retriever! :)

[Annie Tong 2G]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gases in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Xinyu Li 1C]

Two chemists meet for the first time at a symposium. One is American, one is British. The British chemists asks the American chemist, "So what do you do for research?" The American responds, "Oh, I work with arsoles." The Brit responds, "Yes, sometimes my colleagues get on my nerves also."

[Juliana Rosales 1H]

I don't have any jokes per say but I have a pair of his and hers mugs.

H-Hydrogen
Er- Erbium
S- Sulfur

I used to think they were pretty funny until I started to take chem again.

[Melanie Lin 3E]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke....
But all the good ones Argon :(

[Joanna Huang]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 k?

[Lillian]

What's H204?
Depends. If you're thirsty, drinking. If you're dirty, washing.