Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Proton: Hey electron where are you?
Electron: Ohhh thats a tough one. I can tell you where I probably am- does that help?
Electron: Ohhh thats a tough one. I can tell you where I probably am- does that help?
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Re: Chemistry Jokes
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A cloud of helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve noble gases here."
The helium does not react.
The helium does not react.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Here's a throwback to 14a:
"A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, 'No thanks, I'm traveling light.'"
"A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, 'No thanks, I'm traveling light.'"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" The physicist says?
C over lambda.
C over lambda.
Re: Chemistry Jokes
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting while Newton and Pascal hide. Pascal runs off and hides while Newton doesn’t move an inch. Instead, he draws a square around himself in the dirt. After Einstein finishes counting, he opens his eyes and says, “Found you Newton! That was easy.”
Newton says, “No you didn’t. You found Pascal.” He points down to the square in the dirt. “One Newton per meter squared.”
Newton says, “No you didn’t. You found Pascal.” He points down to the square in the dirt. “One Newton per meter squared.”
Re: Chemistry Jokes
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why did the body-builder drink solution of weak acid and its conjugate base?
He wants to get buffer.
He wants to get buffer.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Here are a few:
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Two men walk into a bar. One of them orders H20. The second man says, "I'll have H20 too". The second man dies.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Have you heard about the chemist who read a book about helium?
They couldn’t put it down
They couldn’t put it down
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
[Na]^16 ... BATMAN!!!
It works a little better if you sing it out.
Looks like chemistry, but really it is not.
It works a little better if you sing it out.
Looks like chemistry, but really it is not.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Here's one:
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
A: A one molar solution.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.
A: Because it's basic material.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
take a look at this one haha!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I keep trying to find jokes that nobody on here as used but it seems like all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Chemistry life advice:
success is a state function. It doesn't matter what path you take.
success is a state function. It doesn't matter what path you take.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What's the name of an non hydrogen atom orbital that has a talk show?
Ellen Degeneracy!
Ellen Degeneracy!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Not so much of a joke but more a humorous observation. Has anyone noticed that when you say the equation:
S = KblnW it sounds a lot like: Entropy is equal to Boltzmann's constant times Ellen DeGeneres-y???
S = KblnW it sounds a lot like: Entropy is equal to Boltzmann's constant times Ellen DeGeneres-y???
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
After chemistry class, a student asks a chemist for help with regards to rate constants. The chemist, in response says "k" !
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Not exactly a chemistry joke, more like a pun.
It's the end of 14B and it's been a good run. Just wanted to say that we Lav-elle you, Professor :)
It's the end of 14B and it's been a good run. Just wanted to say that we Lav-elle you, Professor :)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Introducing our newest Chemistry Pop Diva...
Lady
Picture Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallium
Lady
Picture Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallium
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Someone may have posted this already, but it was too real...
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Why did the boat conformation take the elevator?
Because it suffered from stair-ic strain
Because it suffered from stair-ic strain
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What do you do with a sick Chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Re: Chemistry Jokes
Getting ready for the final...
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A sign outside a chemistry hotel read, "Great day rates! And even better NO3^- s!"
Re: Chemistry Jokes
Every time I tell chemistry jokes, I get no reaction.
Which sucks because I happen to tell them periodically.
But it's not my fault, because all the good ones Argon.
I might as well take all my bad chemistry jokes and go barium.
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I make chemistry puns pretty often, but feel like the ultimate loser because I don't do well in chem class.
Which sucks because I happen to tell them periodically.
But it's not my fault, because all the good ones Argon.
I might as well take all my bad chemistry jokes and go barium.
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I make chemistry puns pretty often, but feel like the ultimate loser because I don't do well in chem class.
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