Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Brianna]

In honor of a very successful quarter of chemistry jokes from my peers in 14B I would just like to say that personally, I tell bad chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon!

[bgarcia2B]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I'm tired)

[Daniel23]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?




















He's 0K now.

[Daniel23]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze. LOL!

[Daniel23]

What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A chemistree hahahahahhaha

[Daniel23]

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

[Daniel23]

Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?

Because she was too attractive!

[Dan 4k]

For all us breaking bad fans...

[Dan 4k]

Why is this trans? (OH is up, CH₃ is down)

[Karina Keus 3L]

[Steph S 2F]

What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe.

[Ulysis Baal 4J]

Made me chuckle

[Ulysis Baal 4J]

I didn't drink water today while studying for finals. I was afraid it would've diluted my concentration

[Ulysis Baal 4J]

I just wanna wish everyone good luck with their finals!!!

[Ulysis Baal 4J]

Hahahahaha

[404483361]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one!

[jbcarton]

-Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
-Lose an electron? You should really keep a better ion them next time
-What does an anatomist give you when he's mad? A scowl-pal

[katielee1K]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[Susanna]

Take all your lame chemistry jokes and....barium.


I'm sorry, I make bad chemistry puns...periodically.

[Erin Natale 3I]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?


Because it is made up of alkynes of people.

[Erin Natale 3I]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

[904418641]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"

[Henry2E]

[Nga Mai 1F]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

[Nga Mai 1F]

Do You want you hear a potassium joke?
“Sure”.
“K”

[Katherine Delgadillo 2H]

:-)

[Katherine Delgadillo 2H]

Pre-med life

[Nga Mai 1F]

You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.

How ionic.

[Douglas Dean]

I thought this was funny! :D

[104890318]

Making all the bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon

[Julia_Morales_1E]

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage? It replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

[Stefani Qonsul]

pick up line:

Are you made of Copper? Because I Cu in my dreams :)

[O Wang 1E]

What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Jessica Preciado 1E]

When life gives you C6H8O7, make C6H8O7 + H2O + C12H22O11.

[Brittany Kelley 1F]

Two atoms are walking down the street.

Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure??"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

[EmilyLeibovitch2E]

Q: What does a photon say when he checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

A: He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Helen 3C]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Delacey Rodriguez 1D]

[HannahLewis]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[EmilyLeibovitch2E]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

[Leslie Gonzalez 1F]

Did you hear the rumor that Sodium was dating Chloride?
Na, I would take that rumor with a grain of salt.

[Delacey Rodriguez 1D]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
LOLLLLLLLL CHEM IS FUNNYYYY

[Caterina K 1E]

Would you happen to have any Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO

[Julia_Morales_1E]

A covalent bond yells at an ionic bond, "Didn't anybody ever teach you to share?"

[HannahLewis]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Leslie Gonzalez 1F]

A neutrino walks through a bar.

[Delacey Rodriguez 1D]

[Caterina K 1E]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[Julia_Morales_1E]

So this dude's like, "Where are you going with all that element 83?"
and I was like...
None of your bismuth

[Gabriela_2E]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

[Helen 3C]

How often do I make jokes about chemistry?

Periodically.

[Julia_Morales_1E]

[Julia_Morales_1E]

[Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K]

: )

[Gabriela_2E]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Gabriela_2E]

A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under a sustained enemy attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ.
"NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!" he says.
"NaCl over NaOH?" shouts his officer. "What do you mean?"
"The base is under a salt!" The chemist replied.

[Chem_Mod]

Excellent Gabriela!

[Chem_Mod]

I guess you can say this forum tells chemistry jokes periodically...

[Chem_Mod]

Yes, but the periodic table does have exceptions! :-)

[Chem_Mod]

Are you made of copper and tellurium?? Because you're pretty CuTe!

[Chem_Mod]

Let's head on down to the cemetery and get our Krypton.

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

A joke

[Andreea Voro 3A]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!

[Lisbeth Hernandez3L]

"Don't trust atoms"
Why?
"They make up everything!"

[Julianne Seog 3K]

What did elements from Group 7A say to Jennifer?
Halogen

[Tania_Torres_3O]

dont trust atoms, they make up everything hahaha

[david_li3H]

Don't ever think you don't matter

...because everything is matter

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Chem_Mod]

Stop it with the puns. We've all sulfured enough!

[Julia_Gordon_2A]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Vanessa_Nguyen_1I]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book on helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

[Kathrin Magdalani 3J]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[rielapopp3O]

Not a joke but...

I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes ;)

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Cation
cat●i●on
An ion with a paws-itive charge.

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

[Julianne Seog 3K]

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

[Jimmy Zhou 3D]

Girl are you made of Copper and Tellerium? Because you sure are CuTe

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

What is the scariest element on the periodic table?

Ah, the element of surprise.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

This is more of a pun but here goes,

If you're ever feeling down always remember,
if you have mass and take up space,
then you matter :)

[Chem_Mod]

Try to come up with jokes that haven't been shared already

[celina33]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?





A: You Barium!

[Amber_Carlton_3D]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?


A: It went OK...

[Shadi_Keyvani_1D]

What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon!

[Ryan Clydesdale]

Albert Ghiorso, Glenn T. Seaborg, John R. Walton and Torbjørn Sikkeland wanted a reward for discovering element 102.
Everyone just said No.

[sophianguyen_1N]

Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Answer: Because they have all the solutions.

[Christopher_Reyes_4I]

This is quite punny, but I'm sure you will enjoy it

[Preet_Bains_1D]

What did the Samsung engineers learn about right before making the Galaxy Note 7?

Spontaneous Combustion

[Paul Ndawula 1D]

[Eliza_Beglari_2L]

I dont trust atoms, I heard they make up everything.

[alvitaxiao]

What do you do when a chemist dies?
You barium

[Camille_Rousculp_3A]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Rachel Ma]

There is no not-trying in Chemistry. Why?

Chem-is-try!

[Thomas_Elizabeth_3A]

A proton and a neutron walk into a bar and the neutron asks the bartender how much for a drink & he replies "For you, no charge!"

[Kareem]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite... he said NaBro.

[Katelynn Luansing 2B]

Ever wonder why chemists all love working with ammonia???

Because it is all basic stuff...

[Sonam Sidhu 2J]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[JudyPham_4J]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Jane Sin 3A]

I'm apologizing ahead of time for all the bad jokes I will make because all the good ones argon..

But I think like a proton so I tend be very positive about it..

I believe when it comes to chemistry puns I'm in my element.

(ha ha ha)


^And this is cute

[Harmony R 3A]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe