Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Theresa Dinh 3F]

Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"

[Brian Shih 1J]

Q: Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
A: Because its a salt.

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.

[Tara Ostad 1H]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium

[Kelsey Jug 1J]

What did iodine say while spying on copper?
I see you.

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.

[Maverick Tan 1F]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Amber_Candelaria_1D]

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date!
OMg

[YsabelCheang1H]

Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
It went OK.

[Julia Hwang 3G]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Deen Tar]

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

[Jake_Benna_3J]

Optimist: The glass is half full

Pessimist: The glass is half empty

Chemist: The glass is 50% H2O(l), 39%N(g), 10.5% O2(g), .44%Ar(g), and .06% CO2(g)

[Kathy Vu 3L]

Two chemists walk in a bar. One asks for H20, and the other says "I'll have H2O too." The second chemist dies.

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Q:What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion!

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

OMG
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium are a couple?

[K Phelan 3D]

A photon goes to check into its hotel. The bellhop asks, "Do you need help with your luggage?" The photon responds, "No thank you, I'm carrying light."

[YuniLee_1K]

[Abigail Foster 1K]

I like chemistry jokes, periodically.

[JulieLy_3C]

What do chemists always bring to a camping trip?
-"gram" crackers

[TramHo2G]

How does copper say goodbye?
CU later!

[GevickSafarians_14B]

Funny Stuff.

[Joyce Wu 3E]

But seriously we need to combat global warming and help the polar bears

[Blake_Katsev_2E]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

[Natalie Rotstein 3J]

Thought this one was worth sharing

[Jana_Lang_2B]

I was going to tell a good joke about sodium hydride but I decided NaH.

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."

[Anika_Desar_3N]

The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.

[Nikhil_Madan_3C]

If H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, then what is H2O4?

Drinking.

[Rishi_Kayathi_1E]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

A photon walks into a hotel and the clerk says, "can I take your bags sir?" The photon replies, "no thanks I'm traveling light."

[Divya Kumar 3I]

Person 1: I blew up my chemistry experiment!!
Person 2: Oxidents happen

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Julia Javate 4J]

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

[Taylor_Yamane_2L]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Q: Describe the chemical difference between H20 and CO2.
A: H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

[Jessie_Chen_2L]

I'm a female.
Fe = Female
Male = Man
Therefore, I am Iron Man.

[SarahTian3k]

Werner Heisenberg is driving a car on the freeway when a cop pulls him over for speeding. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?" the cop exclaims. "No," Heisenberg replies, "but I can tell you exactly where I was."

[bridgetfoy_1D]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.

Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.

yay for chemistry jokes!

[804780590]

Something to think about...
if a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[rachel_john]

These jokes are sodium funny!

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

joke

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

You must be full of copper and tellurium because you're cute!

[Tania_Torres_3O]

always think like a proton and stay positive (:

[Aya_Elarid_2H]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees." :)

[giareyes_2B]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Rob_Carter_1L]

Three nobles gases walk into a bar.
No one reacts.

[Kevin Bangi 1A]

what is the chemical formula for coffee?
-CoFe2

[Lisbeth Hernandez3L]

What element is a girl's best friend?
-Carbon

[swatiperepa]

What sharp object do you get when you combine potassium, nickel and iron?


--->KNiFe

[AngelaWang_1F]

What do you call an iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze

[Victoria Vu 3L]

What is a chemist's favorite plant?

Stochiome-tree!

[Alex Uy 2D]

I've got my ion you...

[Lucy Nakashima 1E]

This is relevant to what we've talked about in class this week haha

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[sheilaho_1E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Natalie Hunt 1E]

https://storage.googleapis.com/imgfave/ ... 837604.jpg

[Natalie Hunt 1E]

[Julia_Gordon_2A]

How many moles are in a guacamole?


Avocado's number.

[Julie Barreto 3A]

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q: What happened to the chemist who was pulled over for having NaCl and a 9V in his car?

A: He was arrested for a salt and battery.

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?

A: Because all his friends argon.

[Joanne_Park_4C]

Once I told a chemistry joke....there was no reaction.

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

*badumtss*

[Brandon_Williams_3E]

Q: What did the chemist say when he found to helium isotopes?

A: HeHe

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

Does anyone remember that one really good chemistry joke? Na? OK never mind.

[Antonio_Zenteno_4E]

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

[Jonathan Marin Dis3A]

Q: What is a cation?
A: An ion with a paws-itive charge.

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

Hopefully everyone did better than this person on their quizzes and other midterms!!!

[Anthony Garibay 3J]

What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

A: Let me Atom

[404821045]

One day a chemist wrote to his girlfriend:" I am oxygen and you are the hydrogen,we are bond as tightly as H20."
His girlfriend replied:" who is the other hydrogen."

[Austin_Saephan_1B]

What do you call iron in the air?

Fe-breeze !!!

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

I think I've lost an electron... in fact, I'm positive.

[Fayt Sarreal 1G]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0x10^23 pieces?

Guacamole!

[904605949]

It's an Cat-ion :3

IMG_0498.JPG (26.09 KiB) Viewed 71166 times

[ginnyyao1L]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/or ... 11445e.gif

[AllanNicholson2F]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Toby Lin 1J]

Sorry, I was too concentrated in my titration labs to notice...

[Yesenia Munoz 1G]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates. (:

[hafsa_zulfiqar_1j]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

[DaMonte Jones 3B]

You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

[Janet Pham 1B]

A cat told his owner a joke about Saturn.
The owner replied, “oh you silicate.”

[Abbeyj3I]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? .....A one molar solution.

[Tatum_Bernat_1E]

Reading all these jokes, I think this class is going to be a (pro)ton of fun this year with Mr. Lavelle!

[Vanessa_Nguyen_1I]

What did the hardware store owner say to the man who stole copper wire?
"I'll Cu in court!"

[sboutros2B]

Told a joke to noble gases... they didn't react ):

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Chem Tip

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

Tommy:
I lost an electron!!
John:
Are you positive??

[Jiaruo Wang 1K]

here's the fun one

[F Rios 3E]

I don't have any good Chemistry jokes,
because all the good ones Argon.

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

My friend and I sat down at dinner to come up with some chemistry jokes/puns. We didn't come up with anything good, but it was a great bonding experience.

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

[Paul Ndawula 1D]

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Ryan Cerny 3I]

I can't wait until we are finished with our chemistry final- then we Argon.

Which element is the most medicinal?
-Curium

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Titanium is the most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

[Ricardo Munoz 3K]

I meant to post this up on Friday, but here goes:
What did the chemist say when he dropped a block of gold onto his foot?
"Au, that hurt!"

[Alexia_Vanegas_1G]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.