Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
A: Because its a salt.
A: Because its a salt.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass is 50% H2O(l), 39%N(g), 10.5% O2(g), .44%Ar(g), and .06% CO2(g)
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass is 50% H2O(l), 39%N(g), 10.5% O2(g), .44%Ar(g), and .06% CO2(g)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk in a bar. One asks for H20, and the other says "I'll have H2O too." The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon goes to check into its hotel. The bellhop asks, "Do you need help with your luggage?" The photon responds, "No thank you, I'm carrying light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Funny Stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
But seriously we need to combat global warming and help the polar bears
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.
A: Carbon
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was going to tell a good joke about sodium hydride but I decided NaH.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."
Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, then what is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon walks into a hotel and the clerk says, "can I take your bags sir?" The photon replies, "no thanks I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Person 1: I blew up my chemistry experiment!!
Person 2: Oxidents happen
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
Person 2: Oxidents happen
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
Q: Describe the chemical difference between H20 and CO2.
A: H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water
A: H2O cubed.
Q: Describe the chemical difference between H20 and CO2.
A: H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Werner Heisenberg is driving a car on the freeway when a cop pulls him over for speeding. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?" the cop exclaims. "No," Heisenberg replies, "but I can tell you exactly where I was."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.
yay for chemistry jokes!
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.
yay for chemistry jokes!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees." :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What sharp object do you get when you combine potassium, nickel and iron?
--->KNiFe
--->KNiFe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This is relevant to what we've talked about in class this week haha
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the chemist who was pulled over for having NaCl and a 9V in his car?
A: He was arrested for a salt and battery.
A: He was arrested for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*badumtss*
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist say when he found to helium isotopes?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Does anyone remember that one really good chemistry joke? Na? OK never mind.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hopefully everyone did better than this person on their quizzes and other midterms!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?
A: Let me Atom
A: Let me Atom
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One day a chemist wrote to his girlfriend:" I am oxygen and you are the hydrogen,we are bond as tightly as H20."
His girlfriend replied:" who is the other hydrogen."
His girlfriend replied:" who is the other hydrogen."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0x10^23 pieces?
Guacamole!
Guacamole!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates. (:
They're cheaper than day rates. (:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A cat told his owner a joke about Saturn.
The owner replied, “oh you silicate.”
The owner replied, “oh you silicate.”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? .....A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Reading all these jokes, I think this class is going to be a (pro)ton of fun this year with Mr. Lavelle!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the hardware store owner say to the man who stole copper wire?
"I'll Cu in court!"
"I'll Cu in court!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I don't have any good Chemistry jokes,
because all the good ones Argon.
because all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My friend and I sat down at dinner to come up with some chemistry jokes/puns. We didn't come up with anything good, but it was a great bonding experience.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I can't wait until we are finished with our chemistry final- then we Argon.
Which element is the most medicinal?
-Curium
Which element is the most medicinal?
-Curium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe
A KNiFe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Titanium is the most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
Titanium is the most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I meant to post this up on Friday, but here goes:
What did the chemist say when he dropped a block of gold onto his foot?
"Au, that hurt!"
What did the chemist say when he dropped a block of gold onto his foot?
"Au, that hurt!"
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