Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
Breaking up is hard to do.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: what do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY
hahaha :)
A: CoRnY
hahaha :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I know this discussion is meant for chemistry jokes, but I thought I would share a few chemistry pick up lines instead.
1) You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!
2) I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
3) Are you made of Beryllium, Gold, & Titanium because you're BE AU TI full.
4) If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.
1) You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!
2) I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
3) Are you made of Beryllium, Gold, & Titanium because you're BE AU TI full.
4) If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and neutron walk into a bar and order two beers. The bartender comes back with two beers and asks the proton, "Are you sure that you're 21?" The proton replies, "I'm Positive!!" So the bartender gives him the first beer. The bartender then goes over to the neutron and says, "For you buddy, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas.
This is also known as avocado's number.
This is also known as avocado's number.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I got all these good chemistry jokes, I'm scared they won't get a good reaction :'(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked a couple of my friends if they wanted to hear a good sodium joke. They said Na.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
On a (pH) scale of one to fourteen, you're a fourteen, because you're basic!!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster? The one in Alaska obviously because it's polar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I did not write this original material, neither does Drake #ghostwriting.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado (Avagadro) into 6 x 10^23 pieces?
A: GuacaMOLE
A: GuacaMOLE
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Proton: Hey, Electron! It's Proton. Where are you?!
Electron: Hi there! Well, ya see... That's a hard question for me to answer.
Proton: Why is it a hard question? Just tell me!
Electron: It's difficult for me to answer because I can only tell you where I PROBABLY am.
Proton: :(
Electron: Hi there! Well, ya see... That's a hard question for me to answer.
Proton: Why is it a hard question? Just tell me!
Electron: It's difficult for me to answer because I can only tell you where I PROBABLY am.
Proton: :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I will always know the noble gases because of that one episode of Drake and Josh.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry lab is like a big party. Some drop acid, and others drop the base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
i wish your name was avagadro...because then i would already know your number ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a cup of water?
A one molar solution!!!
A one molar solution!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist get in prison?
He was charged with a salt and battery
He was charged with a salt and battery
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes
I'm just afraid when I say them I won't get a good reaction
I'm just afraid when I say them I won't get a good reaction
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions!
They have all the solutions!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed!
*diss track*
H20 cubed!
*diss track*
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the rumor that Sodium was dating Chloride?
Na, I would take that rumor with a grain of salt.
Na, I would take that rumor with a grain of salt.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*When you dilute a solution*
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard they're starting a whole new chem channel devoted to as xenon tv products.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My friend asked if I was salty that I failed my chem quiz, I said
"Na bro."
"Na bro."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Do you know why I have to post bad chemistry jokes? It's because all of the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked my friend if Silicon was spelled the same in Spanish and she said "Si".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of sodas. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
A: A CaNiNe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Guys, you know what my favorite element on the periodic table is?
Laurencium.
Laurencium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H20. The other says, "I'll take H2O too." The second man dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*photon checks into a hotel*
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
These are somewhat depressing...
What do you do with a dead chemist?
-Barium
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite and he said "NaBrO"
What do you do with a dead chemist?
-Barium
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite and he said "NaBrO"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*photon checks into a hotel*
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it is pretty basic stuff
Because it is pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So two friends walk into a bar, and one friend says "I'll have an H2O." The other friend says "I'll have an H2O too".
Both friends drink their beverages and the second one dies unfortunately, because the second friend asked for H2O2, which is hydrogen peroxide :(
Both friends drink their beverages and the second one dies unfortunately, because the second friend asked for H2O2, which is hydrogen peroxide :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in glass of water?
A one MOLAR solution
HAHA :)
A one MOLAR solution
HAHA :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.
A: CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm trying to zinc of a good chemistry joke but it seems like all of the good ones argon. ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs an help with his luggage.
He replies " No, I'm traveling light."
He replies " No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Cu+ = "I lost an electron :( "
Cu = "Are you positive ??"
*ba dum tsss*
Cu = "Are you positive ??"
*ba dum tsss*
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air. :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "we dont serve noble gases here." Helium doesnt react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call cheese infused in sodium bicarbonate?
NaCHO3 Cheese
NaCHO3 Cheese
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask, tell them you don't know how fast you were going, just where you were.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist say when he found 2 new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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