Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

sboutros2B · Postby **sboutros2B** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 2:47 pm

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Alex Dib 4H · Postby **Alex Dib 4H** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:02 pm

I had my ion a great joke, but fluorine stole it :(

Mikaela Gareeb 3G · Postby **Mikaela Gareeb 3G** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:03 pm

Whats the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Melanie_Wong_1K · Postby **Melanie_Wong_1K** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:26 pm

I'm so tired when I'm chemistry-ing because chem is trying.

Kendall_Islam_3A · Postby **Kendall_Islam_3A** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:52 pm

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:33 pm

Catherine Trinh 3K · Postby **Catherine Trinh 3K** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:47 pm

How does frequency feel when it is injured?
It Hertz!

Alex Uy 2D · Postby **Alex Uy 2D** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:48 pm

I hated learning about electrons...I got so bohr'd

Scott_Anderson_3J · Postby **Scott_Anderson_3J** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:55 pm

Why was Clark's journal better than Lewis' journal?

Lewis just drew dots instead of writing.

JennaMinami1I · Postby **JennaMinami1I** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 7:18 pm

From ASAPScience.

Kevin Bangi 1A · Postby **Kevin Bangi 1A** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:05 pm

Q:If H20 is water what is H204?
A:Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc...

Michael_Zhang_1J · Postby **Michael_Zhang_1J** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:09 pm

Q: What's "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O

JulieLy_3C · Postby **JulieLy_3C** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:23 pm

You must have 11 protons because you're sodium cute

Megan Yabumoto 3K · Postby **Megan Yabumoto 3K** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:06 am

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because its in the ground state!

Alexander Chen 3N · Postby **Alexander Chen 3N** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:00 am

I hate it when I make a chemistry joke, but there's no reaction.

Anthony Garibay 3J · Postby **Anthony Garibay 3J** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:50 am

Chemistry Joke of the Day

Zara_Joshi_3L · Postby **Zara_Joshi_3L** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:01 am

Me @ quiz 2

Frankie Escobedo 3E · Postby **Frankie Escobedo 3E** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:00 am

The name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared ;)

JAC_2016 · Postby **JAC_2016** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:14 am

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Toby Lin 1J · Postby **Toby Lin 1J** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:29 pm

He died for our sins...

Sophia Eliopulos 2I · Postby **Sophia Eliopulos 2I** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:38 pm

cackled out loud when I saw this

Jorge_Escobar_3L · Postby **Jorge_Escobar_3L** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:05 pm

Why do chemist like nitrates so much?

Cause they're cheaper than day rates :)

Jana_Lang_2B · Postby **Jana_Lang_2B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:21 pm

Christopher_Mathe_3B · Postby **Christopher_Mathe_3B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:24 pm

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Amanda_Quintero_1K · Postby **Amanda_Quintero_1K** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:14 pm

Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?

A: Avocado's number.

Lucy Nakashima 1E · Postby **Lucy Nakashima 1E** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:17 pm

Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."

em_farag · Postby **em_farag** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:25 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Nathan Mallipeddi 2H · Postby **Nathan Mallipeddi 2H** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:50 pm

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Jasmine Alcantara 3G · Postby **Jasmine Alcantara 3G** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:07 pm

A seal is just a neutral sea lion.

like....
without an ion.

Victoria Vu 3L · Postby **Victoria Vu 3L** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:16 pm

A chemistry lab is like a big party--some drop acid, others drop the base.

AsthaPatel4B · Postby **AsthaPatel4B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:32 pm

The name's Bond.
Ionic Bond.
Taken not shared.

Aashi_Patel_3B · Postby **Aashi_Patel_3B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:25 pm

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!

What do you do with a sick chemist?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Mahta Marefat 1I · Postby **Mahta Marefat 1I** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:31 pm

Christian Gequillo 1D · Postby **Christian Gequillo 1D** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:40 pm

Q: What did the student say when he heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date?

A: OMg!!

Antonio_Zenteno_4E · Postby **Antonio_Zenteno_4E** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:26 pm

Person #1: Did the doctor tell you about Um?
Person #2: Yes, sadly. He said they couldn't Helium so now they gotta Barium.

giareyes_2B · Postby **giareyes_2B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:49 pm

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Melissa Ledesma 2B · Postby **Melissa Ledesma 2B** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 8:59 pm

404821045 · Postby **404821045** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:15 pm

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
－He couldn't put it down

Rachelle_Stark_3H · Postby **Rachelle_Stark_3H** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:58 pm

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Jonathan Marin Dis3A · Postby **Jonathan Marin Dis3A** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:13 pm

I heard that oxygen and magnesium were dating, I was like OMg.

Jand474 · Postby **Jand474** » Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:50 pm

dont trust atoms, they makeup everything...

904605949 · Postby **904605949** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:00 am

To those who like the Big Bang Theory:)

Alex Phu 2c · Postby **Alex Phu 2c** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:01 am

Q:What would you call a clown in jail?

A: Silicon (Silly Con)

KimberlySalinas_2A · Postby **KimberlySalinas_2A** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:03 pm

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything

divya_devineni_2E · Postby **divya_devineni_2E** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:10 pm

Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass contains 50% H2O (l), 39% N2 (g), 10.5% O2 (g), .44% Ar (g), .06% CO2 (g)

Adrienne Johnson 1D · Postby **Adrienne Johnson 1D** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:12 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear

Ann Zhang_1M · Postby **Ann Zhang_1M** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:16 pm

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Samantha_Leong_3K · Postby **Samantha_Leong_3K** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 3:07 pm

Tyler_Ash_3C · Postby **Tyler_Ash_3C** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:19 pm

What did the chemist say when he wrote down nitrogen dioxide incorrectly? ONO!!!

Vanessa_Nguyen_1I · Postby **Vanessa_Nguyen_1I** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:26 pm

Oxygen wanted to be knighted but couldn't.
It wasn't noble.

BlakeMillar4J · Postby **BlakeMillar4J** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:35 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because he was polar. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JudyPham_4J · Postby **JudyPham_4J** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 5:34 pm

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt

Kimberly_Hoh_2A · Postby **Kimberly_Hoh_2A** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:44 pm

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Tiffany Wee 2D · Postby **Tiffany Wee 2D** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:17 pm

If the Silver Surfer and Iron man teamed up, they would be alloys.

F Rios 3E · Postby **F Rios 3E** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:36 pm

Although I'm not that great with jokes, when it comes to chemistry, I'm in my element.

Madeline Fox 2B · Postby **Madeline Fox 2B** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:47 pm

Don't trust atoms... They make up everything... :/

Justin_Bueno_2O · Postby **Justin_Bueno_2O** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:19 pm

David Julfayan 1F · Postby **David Julfayan 1F** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:39 pm

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date... It was OK.

Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL · Postby **Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:32 am

Hahahahahaha
Na: That was sodium funny!
Ne: I slapped my neon that one!

Taylor_Yamane_2L · Postby **Taylor_Yamane_2L** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:35 am

Marissa Stinnett 1E · Postby **Marissa Stinnett 1E** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:54 am

A Chem 14A student asks, "Anyone know any jokes about Sodium to post on Chemistry Community?"

Dr. Lavelle answers, "Na."

Nadine_El Fawal_3M · Postby **Nadine_El Fawal_3M** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:11 pm

Hey Girl..
Are you made of copper and tellurium because you are CuTe !

Abbas_Hakim_1B · Postby **Abbas_Hakim_1B** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:08 pm

hydrogen bonds lol

Janet Pham 1B · Postby **Janet Pham 1B** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:29 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Ting Zheng 3L · Postby **Ting Zheng 3L** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:45 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

Hung_Sabrina_3N · Postby **Hung_Sabrina_3N** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:53 pm

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze

Mason Henrich 3J · Postby **Mason Henrich 3J** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:30 pm

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Balint Nagy 3C · Postby **Balint Nagy 3C** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:45 pm

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

Colleen_Clarke_4B · Postby **Colleen_Clarke_4B** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:56 pm

Q: Why should you never trust an atom?
A: They makeup everything!

Wesley_Rugen_1E · Postby **Wesley_Rugen_1E** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 5:20 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Diana_Anum1G · Postby **Diana_Anum1G** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:26 pm

Dr. Lavelle: Know any jokes about sodium?

Me: Na

Christopher_Reyes_4I · Postby **Christopher_Reyes_4I** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:15 pm

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium

Paul Ndawula 1D · Postby **Paul Ndawula 1D** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:25 pm

How did the chemist get in prison?...

He was charged with a salt and battery.

004599434 · Postby **004599434** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:20 pm

what is a pirate's favorite element?

Arggggggggon

Sonia_Lele_2K · Postby **Sonia_Lele_2K** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:30 pm

Organic chemistry is so difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Daniel La Cava 4B · Postby **Daniel La Cava 4B** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:41 pm

I was gonna post a chem joke here, but all the good ones argon

Raymond_Guan_1H · Postby **Raymond_Guan_1H** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:52 pm

What's the charge of cations?

They are "paw"sitive

Michael Sparks 2F · Postby **Michael Sparks 2F** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:53 pm

ginnyyao1L · Postby **ginnyyao1L** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:22 pm

Novelpreet_Boparai1N · Postby **Novelpreet_Boparai1N** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:12 am

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution!

Kathrin Magdalani 3J · Postby **Kathrin Magdalani 3J** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:15 am

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Tyler_Vellozzi_3E · Postby **Tyler_Vellozzi_3E** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:27 am

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says "Au get out of here"

Diondraya_Taylor_1C · Postby **Diondraya_Taylor_1C** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:51 am

It's midterm season, so think like a proton and be positive!

Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K · Postby **Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:32 am

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

804748473 · Postby **804748473** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:40 am

Think like a proton - always positive!

Jessica Huang 1M · Postby **Jessica Huang 1M** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:29 pm

If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.

Anthony_Sampayo_4I · Postby **Anthony_Sampayo_4I** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 3:21 pm

Q:what is a chemist's favorite plant?
A:stoichiome-tree

Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D · Postby **Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:39 pm

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Amy_Dixon_1I · Postby **Amy_Dixon_1I** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:42 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Alexandria_Leaf_2F · Postby **Alexandria_Leaf_2F** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:50 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

Mimi_Giang_1F · Postby **Mimi_Giang_1F** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:23 pm

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater!

Miya McLaughlin 2B · Postby **Miya McLaughlin 2B** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:11 pm

Heisenberg is driving down the road when a cop pulls him over and asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?"
To which Heisenberg responds, "No, but I know where I was."

Chaoyi_He_3H · Postby **Chaoyi_He_3H** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:40 pm

sboutros2B · Postby **sboutros2B** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:47 pm

Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Jason Slater 3I · Postby **Jason Slater 3I** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:54 pm

I hate telling noble gas jokes. There's never a reacton.

Ricardo Munoz 3K · Postby **Ricardo Munoz 3K** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:22 pm

What is a chemist's favorite Power Rangers TV series?
-Power Rangers SP3D

Shadi_Keyvani_1D · Postby **Shadi_Keyvani_1D** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:03 pm

Hallow=Hallow : Halloween!

(Double bond means "ene")

Hanan_Kashkoul_1O · Postby **Hanan_Kashkoul_1O** » Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:13 am

Ashley T 2H · Postby **Ashley T 2H** » Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:38 am

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Christian Hardoy 3F · Postby **Christian Hardoy 3F** » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:26 am

Q: What did the angry electron say when it was repelled?
A: Let me atom!

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