Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[KoSiOg]

"What if i told you everything you know about chem is a lie"

[Yasmin Rizal 1C]

(it's ununhexium, the old name for livermorium! :))

[Brian Shih 1J]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[William_Yi_3B]

Two people into a bar
one goes can I have H20
the other goes can i have H20 too

he dies...
heh

[David Sung 2H]

I once told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

[SarahTian3k]

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Abigail Foster 1K]

Are you made up of Copper and Tellurium, because you are CuTe!

[Jane Sin 3A]

[Aileen Nguyen 3N]

Accurately portrays my love life

[AngelaWang_1F]

Every dipole has its moment.

[YsabelCheang1H]

What do dipoles say in passing?

"Have you got a moment?"

[Abbeyj3I]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

I have many chemistry jokes. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

What do you call an acid with an attitude? An a-mean-oh-acid.

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

[204751840 2E]

Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is.

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

I love chemistry jokes, but I always get no reaction.

[Joanne_Park_4C]

If the formula for water is H2O
Then is the formula for an ice cube H2O Squared?

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Joshua Song 2M]

Ctrl+C
Ctrl+V
The extent of cleverness on this page.

[Joshua Song 2M]

What's the difference between chemistry and a hot girl?
I have a hot girl in my chemistry class but don't have chemistry with one.
#original

P.S. Ladies, this is just a joke, if I have chemistry with you, you are beautiful

[Kendall_Islam_3A]

I have many chemistry jokes... I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Do Not Trust Atoms!!
They Make Up Everything...

[Anika_Desar_3N]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Luigivar 2F]

Q: Why does a burger patty have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

[melissasandoval2O]

me, drinking water: this water is so iconic
I would tell another chemistry joke, but all of my good ones argon

[GregoryPolyakov_1H]

Why did the chemists lose an electron?

They weren't keeping an ion them!

[Claire Vandenberg 4L]

Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?

A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Tara_Hekmati_3B]

Cation
Cat-i-on
noun, Chemistry
1. An ion with a paws-itive charge.
2. A very cute ion.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

https://goo.gl/images/yYCKyU

[Shelley Pi 1K]

A small furry mammal walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 10^23. We can't serve a mole."

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[rachel_john]

Q: What is the molecular formula for Banana?
A: BaNa2

[Marisa_Woo_2G]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214x10²³ pieces?

Guacamole! :)

[Ishita_Dubey_2D]

When the cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask you, tell them you don't how fast you were going, just where you were.

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Q: Are there any chemistry jokes no one has told yet?
A: NaBrO

[sheilaho_1E]

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

[Anna_Kim_2E]

Haha

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Jennifer Ngo 1M]

[804780590]

Why do scientists like working with Ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[JAC_2016]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Julia_Gordon_2A]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Elon_Glouberman_4J]

As the two polar bonds stared into each other's eyes, they soon began to share a moment. A dipole moment.

[Tania_Torres_3O]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Molika Soben_3J]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

What is a chemist's favorite type of plant?

A StoichiomeTREE

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Barium.

[304751905]

Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
NA-NA-NA-NA
BATMAAAN!

[Ricardo Munoz 3K]

Did you guys hear about the ligand who became a magician? He made his own TV show called "The Carbonato Effect".

[Ivanna_Tang_3B]

[Alicia_Kwan_2H]

Now that our midterm is over...

[Molly_McMillen_3J]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

[Christopher Reed 1H]

A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?" The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Happy Friday!

[giareyes_2B]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?

A: H2O.

[Antonio_Zenteno_4E]

Q:What group of elements are the most angelic?
A: the HALOgens

[FaithPigeon_1E]

What did oxygen say to magnesium?

OMg!!

[904605949]

Thought this was pretty funny, enjoy.

86071532fhfbi_sm.jpeg (11.19 KiB) Viewed 29864 times

[DanielaWong_2G]

LOL

[Anthony Garibay 3J]

Chemistry Jokes of the Day!

[SaniShabgahi3N]

Here are some chemistry pick up lines so you are prepared just in case an attractive person sits next to you during the chemistry lecture.

Do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're cute.

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium...because you're a total BaBe.

[Kendall_Chaffin_3C]

Do you have 11 protons because you're sodium fine!

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

NaCl
------- The base is under a salt!
NaOh

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[KimberlySalinas_2A]

An electron walks into the bar and asks, "how much for a drink?" and the bartender says, "for you no charge!"

[Fayt Sarreal 1G]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
.
.
.
.
Na

[Eva_Wetzel_3K]

Q: Why did the Chem student miss a quiz question about positively charged atoms?

A: His tutor had poor communication.

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

hmm...

[JulieLy_3C]

Most people find chemistry jokes funny.
I find them prephosphorous.

[jillianduffield_2D]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Minh_Le_3I]

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Abbeyj3I]

Got mole problem? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Vanessa_Nguyen_1I]

Someone gave me an extra electron, and I complained.
My friend told me to stop being so negative.

[Victoria Vu 3L]

A hug without u is like Mercury.

Hg.

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

What is the chemical formula for a banana???

Answer: BaNa2

[Alexia_Vanegas_1G]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Alexia_Vanegas_1G]

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe

[divya_devineni_2E]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Bond

[Yamilex Velgara 2I]

if anyone is into Rihanna

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Me: What do you call a situation with one love interest and four suitors? ... A love tetrahedral! XD
My friend: I zinc you need to stop. -.-

[emilyclause]

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A chemistree.

[Kevin Bangi 1A]

think like a proton and stay positive:)

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

Q:Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A:They're cheaper than day rates.

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[NicholasKillmeier3K]

Sorry ladies, I only date carbon.

[lena1217]

Q: What is a Chemist's favorite type of tree?
A: A stoichiome-tree

Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?
A: Guacamole

[904827101]

a"noble" piece of art

[Abigail_Low_1A]

what do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon!

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Austin_Saephan_1B]

Why did the chemist get thrown in prison?

He got charged with a-salt-and-battery!!!

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

When you're hungry but still thinking about chem...

[Catherine_L_1C]

What did the orbital think of the chemistry homework?
He thought it was easy p_z!

[Isayan_Natalie_3L]

A head start for Valentine's Day!

[Mahta Marefat 1I]

If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Elle_Bertuccelli_1B]

This chemistry joke is sodium funny!!!