Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Aaron_Trell_2J]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na

[Grace_McAuley_1E]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Sally_Tu_1H]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Serena Patel 2H]

I'm running out of good chemistry jokes. All the good ones Argon.

[hfrazer1B]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[Omer Lavian 2K]

Arrigato Mr. Sulfato!

[Wesley_Rugen_1E]

What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH2O

[Michael Sparks 2F]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" ..... and he died.

[Claire_Zhou_1A]

[hafsa_zulfiqar_1j]

What show do Cesium and Iodine like watching together?

CSI

[emmajanibekyan_4I]

What did my friend tell me before I took the chemistry midterm? Good Lutetium Carbon Potassium!

[JudyPham_4J]

Why do hamburgers have lower energy than steak? Because it's in a ground state.

[Rob_Carter_1L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Wang_Pong_Chan_1L]

Two men walk into a bar. The first man asks for H20. The second man says "I'll have H20 too". The second man dies.

[Shannonhoang]

I was texting my friend today and telling them about how my friends are always taking pics of their food.
Then he said how Ph 14 of them.

[Huongly Do 3D]

What do you call a bear with a dipole moment?

A polar bear!

[Evan Lee 2D]

What did the Chemist say to motivate his team?

we ARGON to BARIUM.

[Catherine Trinh 3K]

What did the iodine atom ask three attractive oxygen atoms?
To go on an iodate.

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

[Deen Tar]

I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg

[Timothy Yu 2M]

I have a joke!
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My Chemistry Grade

[Bella Martin]

What type of bond is the tastiest? a Pi bond!

[AJ Garalza 2E]

I told a bad joke about helium one day.
Nobody was reactive...

[Alexander Chen 3N]

If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Selby Kia 1L]

When you know chemistry jokes but they all Boron

[Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E]

I don't get why my stomach hurts this bad. Me and my friend went to a bar together after our chemistry midterm, he asked for H2O and I asked for H2O too. It tasted pretty funny though.

[Janet Pham 1B]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Alexandria_Leaf_2F]

images.jpeg (7.29 KiB) Viewed 28731 times

[Christian Gequillo 1D]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man were to team up, they'd be alloys.

[Theresa_Trieu_2G]

[Haoqing Li 3E]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Haoqing Li 3E]

Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

LMAO

[Jand474]

What is a chemists favorite plant?

A Stochiome-tree

[Jand474]

If a King farts, is it a noble gas???

[Anthony Garibay 3J]

Chemistry Joke of the Day

[Annah Khan 1B]

Q: What is the chemical formula for banana?
A: BaNa2

Haha, hope you like it!

[em_farag]

Technically, alcohol is a solution.

[Isabel Gandarilla]

What do you do with a Chemist when he dies?

You BARIUM :)

[Christopher_Reyes_4I]

What do hungry chemists eat?
Gram (Graham) crackers

[Dan_Jin_1K]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

An a-mean-o acid!!!

hahahahahahhaha

[Alex Uy 2D]

What did the electric dipole moment say when it walked out the door?

goo-debye!

[Balint Nagy 3C]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Alex Phu 2c]

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

[Brandon_Williams_3E]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

To everyone who forgot to divide by Avogadro's number on the midterm when converting kJ/mol to J.

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

[Alex_Wagas_3K]

Why was there a warrant out for Sodium?

It was wanted for assault (a salt)

[jillianduffield_2D]

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

What do you do to a dead chemist?
Barium

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

What kind of gum does a ligand chew?

TRIDENTate!

[YsabelCheang1H]

hahaha

[Evan Lee 2D]

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin?


Polar Bond.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q: What did the chemist say when he discovered two new isotopes for helium?





A: He He

[Janet Pham 1B]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Ashley T 2H]

What is a chemist's favorite plant?
Stoichiome-tree

[Mikaela Gareeb 3G]

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
Tuna (2Na)

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q: Why does hamburger yield a lower energy than steak?

A: Because it's in the ground steak.

[Rachel Ma]

Atom: These protons make my mass look big! ;)

[sheilaho_1E]

Q:What does the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A "gram" cracker

[804748473]

What is Dr. Lavelle's favorite element?
LAURENCE-ium!

[Ting Zheng 3L]

How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?
A sulfone

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

[Anjum Farook 2O]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

[rachel_john]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Lindsey Lill]

[Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe!

[Jessica Huang 1M]

[Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL]

"I would never try to poison you... Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich" hahahaha

[004599434]

what is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

chemistry is fluorine, uranium, and nitrogen

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

what was the charge when NaCl was arrested? A salt

[Emily_Bennett_3C]

This is the last Chemistry joke because all of the other ones Argon.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution

[Vista_Farkhondeh_3O]

How often do you post on chemistry community?
Periodically

[Andrew Nguyen 3G]

Created by myself while shopping for shampoo.

[alvitaxiao]

Why did carbon marry hydrogen? because they bonded the moment they met

[K Phelan 3D]

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na

[Amir Patel 1G]

I asked the guy sitting next to me in lecture yesterday if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO. :(

[emilyharland]

I blew up my chemistry experiment... oxidants happen

[Joyce Wu 3E]

How many moles are in a guacamole??
- Avacado's number

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Diana_Visco_1l]

Here's a very witty, yet simple humorous joke for your afternoon.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2Na

[Megan_McElfish_3D]

What kind of fish is made out of two Sodium atoms?
2Na

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Krishil_Gandhi_1D]

Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0 X 10^23 pieces??

A: 'Guac'-a-mole...

[Sophia Eliopulos 2I]

Saw this one coming...

[Kendall_Chaffin_3C]

What do you do with a sick chemist?


Well, If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.

The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”

The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”

Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”

The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.

"A cat," Schrödinger replies.

The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”

Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”

[Joanne_Park_4C]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

[Helen_Lee_1L]

For people who have a general knowledge of mainstream music:
What is David Guetta's favorite element?
Titanium

[Scott_Anderson_3J]

What's a mortician's favorite element?

Barium

[Katelynn Luansing 2B]

I'm sorry I don't post jokes on Chem Community too often!

I only post PERIODICALLY!

[veeksha25]

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

[Brian Shih 1J]

An infrared photon walked into a bar and said, "is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

An xray photon walked into a bar. The bartender says, "can I get you something to drink?" The xray photon said, "no, I'm just having a look inside!"

A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said "you look fluorescent!" The photon turned red, and left.

A pink photon walked into a bar. The bartender knew that pink photons don't exist, so he said, "say... you know... we don't get many pink photons around here..." The pink photon shot back "Not at these prices you won't!"

The bartender was fed up with the revelry of the photons, so he turned out the lights and they were gone.

A photon stopped at the bar and asked if there was a room to rent. The bartender said "Sure thing. Can I take your bag up to your room?" The photon said "no, I am traveling light."

A 450 nanometer photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why so blue?"

A photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?" The photon says "light beer".

[sboutros2B]

My Teacher threw sodium chloride at me
Thats a salt!

[Abigail Foster 1K]

You look so familiar. Wait, didn't we take a class together? I swear we had Chemistry.