Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" ..... and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did my friend tell me before I took the chemistry midterm? Good Lutetium Carbon Potassium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do hamburgers have lower energy than steak? Because it's in a ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a bar. The first man asks for H20. The second man says "I'll have H20 too". The second man dies.
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:)
I was texting my friend today and telling them about how my friends are always taking pics of their food.
Then he said how Ph 14 of them.
Then he said how Ph 14 of them.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the Chemist say to motivate his team?
we ARGON to BARIUM.
we ARGON to BARIUM.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the iodine atom ask three attractive oxygen atoms?
To go on an iodate.
To go on an iodate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I don't get why my stomach hurts this bad. Me and my friend went to a bar together after our chemistry midterm, he asked for H2O and I asked for H2O too. It tasted pretty funny though.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man were to team up, they'd be alloys.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
LMAO
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
LMAO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the chemical formula for banana?
A: BaNa2
Haha, hope you like it!
A: BaNa2
Haha, hope you like it!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
An a-mean-o acid!!!
hahahahahahhaha
An a-mean-o acid!!!
hahahahahahhaha
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the electric dipole moment say when it walked out the door?
goo-debye!
goo-debye!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
To everyone who forgot to divide by Avogadro's number on the midterm when converting kJ/mol to J.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was there a warrant out for Sodium?
It was wanted for assault (a salt)
It was wanted for assault (a salt)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist say when he discovered two new isotopes for helium?
A: He He
A: He He
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield a lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground steak.
A: Because it's in the ground steak.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"I would never try to poison you... Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich" hahahaha
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This is the last Chemistry joke because all of the other ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did carbon marry hydrogen? because they bonded the moment they met
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me in lecture yesterday if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO. :(
He said NaBrO. :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0 X 10^23 pieces??
A: 'Guac'-a-mole...
A: 'Guac'-a-mole...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
Well, If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
Well, If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
For people who have a general knowledge of mainstream music:
What is David Guetta's favorite element?
Titanium
What is David Guetta's favorite element?
Titanium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm sorry I don't post jokes on Chem Community too often!
I only post PERIODICALLY!
I only post PERIODICALLY!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An infrared photon walked into a bar and said, "is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
An xray photon walked into a bar. The bartender says, "can I get you something to drink?" The xray photon said, "no, I'm just having a look inside!"
A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said "you look fluorescent!" The photon turned red, and left.
A pink photon walked into a bar. The bartender knew that pink photons don't exist, so he said, "say... you know... we don't get many pink photons around here..." The pink photon shot back "Not at these prices you won't!"
The bartender was fed up with the revelry of the photons, so he turned out the lights and they were gone.
A photon stopped at the bar and asked if there was a room to rent. The bartender said "Sure thing. Can I take your bag up to your room?" The photon said "no, I am traveling light."
A 450 nanometer photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why so blue?"
A photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?" The photon says "light beer".
An xray photon walked into a bar. The bartender says, "can I get you something to drink?" The xray photon said, "no, I'm just having a look inside!"
A green photon walked into a bar. The bartender said "you look fluorescent!" The photon turned red, and left.
A pink photon walked into a bar. The bartender knew that pink photons don't exist, so he said, "say... you know... we don't get many pink photons around here..." The pink photon shot back "Not at these prices you won't!"
The bartender was fed up with the revelry of the photons, so he turned out the lights and they were gone.
A photon stopped at the bar and asked if there was a room to rent. The bartender said "Sure thing. Can I take your bag up to your room?" The photon said "no, I am traveling light."
A 450 nanometer photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why so blue?"
A photon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?" The photon says "light beer".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You look so familiar. Wait, didn't we take a class together? I swear we had Chemistry.
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