Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.
The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going?
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going?
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be....0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Professor Lavelle,
You are a perfect 10!!!!
... on the ph scale cause you're pretty BASIC!!
.. just kiddin you're awesome:) <3
You are a perfect 10!!!!
... on the ph scale cause you're pretty BASIC!!
.. just kiddin you're awesome:) <3
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.
How ionic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A physicist and a biologist go out on a date. It didn't go very well. Turns out there wasn't any chemistry.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does a chemist bring as a dessert while camping? A ‘gram’ cracker.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the political science major define free radical on his chemistry exam?
A: A wild protestor.
A: A wild protestor.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do scientists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than dayrates
They're cheaper than dayrates
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises??
it becomes daytrogen!!
it becomes daytrogen!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q:Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
- A one molar solution.
- A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Atom #1: Oh no! I think I lost an electron.
Atom#2: Are you sure?
Atom#1: I'm positive :(
Atom#2: Are you sure?
Atom#1: I'm positive :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
lovin all these chem jokes (click jump to post if you can't see the image)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the chemist get in prison?
A: He was charged with a salt and battery.
A: He was charged with a salt and battery.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
A: H-two-O-CUBED
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you say the lab smells like rotten eggs?
I'm sorry to hear you're sulfuring.
I'm sorry to hear you're sulfuring.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
First of all why do Chemistry graduates typically work in the Pharmaceutical industry, while Pharmacy graduates typically work in a Chemist shop? Anyway, the missus and I are both science graduates, Chemistry for her, and Physics and Computer Science for me. So typical conversations might be…
I told her I didn’t know the symbols for the elements Lithium and Argon. She said “Li Ar”
I asked her to tell me the chemical symbol for nitrous oxide. She said “NO”
I proudly told her I knew the chemical symbol for a hydroxyl. She said “OH”.
I asked her to briefly tell me something about Oxygen and Potassium. She said “O K”.
I asked her if I mixed Nobelium, 2 parts Boron and Erbium what would I get? She said “NoBBEr”.
I told her I didn’t know the symbols for the elements Lithium and Argon. She said “Li Ar”
I asked her to tell me the chemical symbol for nitrous oxide. She said “NO”
I proudly told her I knew the chemical symbol for a hydroxyl. She said “OH”.
I asked her to briefly tell me something about Oxygen and Potassium. She said “O K”.
I asked her if I mixed Nobelium, 2 parts Boron and Erbium what would I get? She said “NoBBEr”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
He's not wrong.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does the leader of the electron army say when they go to war?
CHAAARGE!!
CHAAARGE!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A: A. A-mean-oh-acid.
A: A. A-mean-oh-acid.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution!
A: A one molar solution!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Whats the difference between chemistry and cooking?
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
You can't helium, you can't curium, so you might as well barium.
You can't helium, you can't curium, so you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.
A: Because it's basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one atom say to the other atom?
A: Nothing because atoms can't talk
A: Nothing because atoms can't talk
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
A: They have all the solutions.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces?
Guacamole
Guacamole
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Shocking, isn't it?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know Oxygen went for a second date with Potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2.
How did it go?
It went OK2.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff!
Because it's pretty basic stuff!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was too attractive!
Hilarious
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was too attractive!
Hilarious
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In the spirit of rivalry week and pride for our Bruins, here's a bear joke:
What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A polar bear.
What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A polar bear.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two man walked into a bar, the first ordered ome H2O. The second said "sounds good, I'll have some H2O too."
He died.
He died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Not to get technical but ... according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution"
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