Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Question: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
Answer: CSI
Answer: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Last night, a hypnotist convinced me that I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82... I am easily lead."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about the sick chemist?
If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, you'll probably have to Barium
If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, you'll probably have to Barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did Carbon San Diego, Barium Bonds, and Selenium Gomez go for Thanksgiving?
Silicon Valley!
Silicon Valley!
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Re:Chemistry Jokes
Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic and Sulfur?
Because you’ve got a NiCe [censored]!
Because you’ve got a NiCe [censored]!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
A: Because it's basic material.
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton, a neutron, and helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with 3 beers and asks the proton, “Are you sure you’re over 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” So the bartender gives him the first beer.
He gives the second beer to the neutron and says, “For you, no charge.”
He throws the third beer in helium’s face. Helium doesn’t react.
The bartender appears with 3 beers and asks the proton, “Are you sure you’re over 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” So the bartender gives him the first beer.
He gives the second beer to the neutron and says, “For you, no charge.”
He throws the third beer in helium’s face. Helium doesn’t react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
With all the stress about finals coming up, I think it's important that we all think like a proton and stay positive! :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say when he found a third isotope of helium?
"He He He."
"He He He."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
“Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!”
Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied:
“It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied:
“It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When Life Gives You C6H8O7
Make H2O + C12 H22 O11 + C6 H8 O7
-Beyonce
Make H2O + C12 H22 O11 + C6 H8 O7
-Beyonce
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
Bathing, drinking, swimming, washing...
Bathing, drinking, swimming, washing...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A hydrogen atom and a neutron are walking down the street.
The hydrogen says, "Wait, I dropped an electron, help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The hydrogen replies "I'm positive."
The hydrogen says, "Wait, I dropped an electron, help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The hydrogen replies "I'm positive."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Guy: "Hey Girl, are you made of Copper and Tellurium?....Because you are CuTe :)"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So finals week is coming up... make sure you all get your CoFe2 in the morning!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I haven't had much sleep this week, I think I need some sodium and phosphorus.
(NaP)
(NaP)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydron?
A: They bonded the minute they met!
A: They bonded the minute they met!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich. XD
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite? - NaBro
Chemists are bad at telling jokes... They lack the element of surprise.
Chemists are bad at telling jokes... They lack the element of surprise.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I know I'm not doing well in the class but I'm trying to think like a proton and stay POSITIVE
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones (Ar)gon
ba dum tsss
ba dum tsss
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Since finals are right around the corner, here is something that will hopefully make you all smile and remember to be optimistic in this time of immense stress and self-doubt. Hope this helps!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
A: CsI
Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.
A: CsI
Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They go from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns...
They go from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist get in prison?
He was charged with a salt and battery hahahahhahah
He was charged with a salt and battery hahahahhahah
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of problems.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An atom loses an electron.
It says, "Man, I really have to keep a better ion them!"
It says, "Man, I really have to keep a better ion them!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I think they Argon.
Last edited by Jessica_Nakahira_1G on Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How much extra do chemists have to pay for avocados?
$6.02
$6.02
Last edited by JulieLy_3C on Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have lots of Chemistry jokes, I'm just not sure all of them will get a good reaction
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fell on a river, which one would dissolve faster?
A: The one in Alaska because it's polar
Q: Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
A: It's at ground state
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other.
Atom 1: "Are you alright?"
Atom 2: "No, I lost an electron!"
Atom 1: "Are you sure?"
Atom 2: "Yeah, I'm POSITIVE!"
A: The one in Alaska because it's polar
Q: Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
A: It's at ground state
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other.
Atom 1: "Are you alright?"
Atom 2: "No, I lost an electron!"
Atom 1: "Are you sure?"
Atom 2: "Yeah, I'm POSITIVE!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are bad at telling jokes... they lack the the element of surprise.
I blew up a chemistry expiriment. Its okay oxidents happen.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full.
I blew up a chemistry expiriment. Its okay oxidents happen.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
A: Never lick the spoon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many good chemistry jokes, but I'm just afraid I won't get a good reaction
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Love is the air?
WRONG - Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.
WRONG - Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry Joke of the Day
- Attachments
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does the leader of of the electron army say when they go to war?
CHAAARRGGGEEE!
CHAAARRGGGEEE!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's so special about Oxygen and Potassium?
-Nothing, they're just OK. Potassium and Oxygen is a knockout though!
-Nothing, they're just OK. Potassium and Oxygen is a knockout though!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did two brothers Grant and Michael do for thanksgiving?
Well, first, they woke up at 10am to watch the wonderful Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. After that, their cousins came over, and they hung out, playing xbox, basketball, and watching some NFL football. When the clock stroke 5PM, dinner was ready. They deeply indulged in the food that their parents made, which included turkey, lobster, potatoes, salmon, and tomatoes! After filling themselves up, they had to take a rest, because they didn't want to be negatively charged like an electron. So, they took a quick nap. But, during their nap, the lights turned off in the house, so they had to call the neighborhood Technetium, who came and fixed the lights. After that all happened, they woke up, and they needed some milk and bananas to help wake up, so they said to their mom "Hey mom, can you give us some P and some Ca?"
Their mom brought them milk and bananas because she was a chemistry professor so she knew what P and Ca were.
After that, the narrator of this joke realized that it was going nowhere, so he concluded it with this: What does Beryllium Nitrogen spell? BeN.
Well, first, they woke up at 10am to watch the wonderful Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. After that, their cousins came over, and they hung out, playing xbox, basketball, and watching some NFL football. When the clock stroke 5PM, dinner was ready. They deeply indulged in the food that their parents made, which included turkey, lobster, potatoes, salmon, and tomatoes! After filling themselves up, they had to take a rest, because they didn't want to be negatively charged like an electron. So, they took a quick nap. But, during their nap, the lights turned off in the house, so they had to call the neighborhood Technetium, who came and fixed the lights. After that all happened, they woke up, and they needed some milk and bananas to help wake up, so they said to their mom "Hey mom, can you give us some P and some Ca?"
Their mom brought them milk and bananas because she was a chemistry professor so she knew what P and Ca were.
After that, the narrator of this joke realized that it was going nowhere, so he concluded it with this: What does Beryllium Nitrogen spell? BeN.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the name of the show that Cesium and Iodine love watching!?
CSI
Hahah.
CSI
Hahah.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of fish is made of 2 sodium atoms?
- 2 Na
since Fe= Iron
then Female= Iron man
- 2 Na
since Fe= Iron
then Female= Iron man
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
how does a formaldehyde compound dress down, it turns into a casual-dehydride
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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