Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

[David Julfayan 1F]

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

[Aya_Elarid_2H]

I would never try to poison you, now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q:What kind of fish is made out of sodium?
A: 2 Na

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?”
The proton replies “I’m positive.”

[em_farag]

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

What is HIJKLMNO? H2O

[Anisha Patel 1G]

If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H20 cubed

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.

[Anika_Desar_3N]

I wish I could tell you a new chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

[Spencer Peterman 3E]

What do you get when 6.02x10²³ mosquitoes bite you?

Molearia.

[Janet Pham 1B]

This will be me after the chem final

[Spencer Peterman 3E]

How much do neutrons cost?

Nothing, they're free of charge.

[Emily Steele 4J]

[Emily Steele 4J]

[Scott_Anderson_3J]

Why is taking chemistry at UCLA noble?

Chem 14B is full, just like the noble gases.

[AllanNicholson2F]

A man walks into a bar and says "I'll have some H20".
The man next to him says "I'll have some H20 too", he drinks it and dies

[904799315]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

[Kendall_Islam_3A]

What should you say if you borrow something from an iodine atom, an oxygen atom, and a uranium atom?
Thanks - IOU!

[Gianna Zufall 3G]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

[Katrina_Galian 1J]

Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine.

Are you a charged atom cuz I've got my ion on you.

Chem students do it on the table periodically XD

[Lisbeth Hernandez3L]

What is a chemist's favorite plant?
-Stoichiome-tree

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Tiffany_Hoang_3C]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[SarahTian3k]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[Abbeyj3I]

Think like a proton and stay positive for finals week, y'all! We can do this!!

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[michael_buenaventura_1B]

Why did the scientists start dancing after they spilled OH all over the floor?

They dropped the base.

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

take all your lame chemistry jokes and Barium.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Brian Shih 1J]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.

[Tyler_Ash_3C]

What is Cesium and Iodine's favorite TV show?
CSI

[Joanne_Park_4C]

Think like a proton and stay positive!!
Good luck on finals everyone!!

[Angela Farooq 3E]

What did the man with the iron will say?
You can't ferrous me to do anything.

[Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K]

Old chemists never die, THEY JUST STOP REACTING.

[Luiza Karakhanyan]

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartended says,"Sorry we don't serve noble gases here."
He doesn't react.

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellboy asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies,"No, I'm travelling light."

[Jata_Kavya_3A]

How do you feel after that O chem exam?

I'm DIEN!

[Grace_McAuley_1E]

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into his bar?
OHSNaP!

[Molly_McMillen_3J]

Organic chemistry is hard. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon (Silly Con)

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
its CoRn Y

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

What do you call a bear that dissolves in water?




A polar bear!

[Julianne Seog 3K]

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

[Ashley T 2H]

Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
A: Fear of utility bills

[Haoqing Li 3E]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
Lol

[Haoqing Li 3E]

-Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-He just couldn't put it down.

[Haoqing Li 3E]

Q:Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium? How did it go?
A:It went OK2!

[Greta Tobin 2F]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
Answer: A ferrous wheel

[Samart_Condon_1D]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

i think i lost an electron i’d better keep an ion that!

[Balint Nagy 3C]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

I told my friends a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

.

[004599434]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

Two men walk into a restaurant. The first man tells the waiter, "I would like some H2O please," and the second man tells the waiter, "I would like some H20 too." The second man was later found dead.

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Lucy Nakashima 1E]

[cara_Budzinski_3D]

What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
WaterMOLEns

[Aashi_Patel_3B]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[ErinMae_Bacasen1L]

At the Acid Dating Club, Cl goes up to Bi and asks how acidic was their last relationship. Bi responds "My last relationship was actually basic." Cl is confused and asks, "what?!" Bi laughs and says, "I'm amphoteric." Br comes up and tells Cl to pay up, "I knew it, it was so obvious."

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

What show do cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

[usernamesarehard]

Do you wanna hear a joke about sodium?

Na.

[usernamesarehard]

No a Catalyst isn't a list of all the cows you own.

[Ann Zhang_1M]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

what was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

[Chin_Alyssa_3I]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

...


Cause it's pretty basic stuff

[Tania_Torres_3O]

lose an electron?better keep an ION it!!!

[Molika Soben_3J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[FaithPigeon_1E]

Hey girl, are you copper and tellurium?

because you are CuTe.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

PSA: please be careful of any possible interactions with dihydrogen monoxide!!! It is a very dangerous liquid.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

My head HERTZ from the FREQUENCY of all these puns..

[Aya_Elarid_2H]

Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
It was a polar bear! Polar bears are white bears. Polar compounds dissolve in water because water is a polar molecule (like dissolves like), while nonpolar compounds do not.

[sheilaho_1E]

What is the chemist's favorite part of an EDM song?

When the base drops.

[Ivy Kwok 2I]

Q: Why does Nicki Minaj like NaOH?
A: It's a super base.

[Pratyush Kandimalla 2O]

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

A: Polar Bond

[Kristine_Espinosa_2L]

How often do I make jokes about chemistry?
Periodically.

[Anika_Desar_3N]

Hahaha

[Shelley Pi 1K]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[Shelley Pi 1K]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[heather_carlton_1K]

I think I left the Bromine and Boron in the cabinet!
BrB

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Question: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

Answer: 2NA!!

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

A: He's 0K now.

[Maverick Tan 1F]

What is a chemist's favorite plant?

A. Stoichiome-tree.

[JudyPham_4J]

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

[JudyPham_4J]

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

[Divya Kumar 3I]

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

In honor of our upcoming final

[Abishek 3K]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're so CuTe
My girlfriend dumped me the next day

[904605949]

Pretty much me with the new topic hehe.

imgres.jpg (5.81 KiB) Viewed 18070 times

[Alyssa_Wieand_2G]

A man and a woman are sitting at a bar. The man is wearing a shirt that says "Polar" and the woman is wearing a shirt that says "Non-Polar". The man gets up and suddenly says: "Sorry, I just don't think the chemistry is right".

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

Trying to find chem jokes no one has used before...