Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Minh_Le_3I]

[GevickSafarians_14B]

Chemistry Joke.

[Anthony Garibay 3J]

Chemistry Joke of the Day

[Ting Zheng 3L]

According to chemists, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

[Christopher_Reyes_4I]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

[JudyPham_4J]

What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH20

[JudyPham_4J]

Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

[KimberlySalinas_2A]

What is a chemist's favorite tree?
Stoichiome-tree

[Vanessa_Nguyen_1I]

The silicon put his neon the window ledge, climbed out, and krypton along the wall to meet his friend. Let's hope the guard cesium before they argon!

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Andy Chen 3L]

If a king farts...is it a Noble Gas?

[Tyler_Honrada_1L]

[Balint Nagy 3C]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[404805762]

I complained to my friend about the chem final and her response was: "sorry to hear about your sulfuring."

[404805762]

I blew up something in the lab, but hey! Oxidants happen, amirite?

[Brian Devlin 3B]

Long Live Lavelle

[Victoria Vu 3L]

What do elements do in a play?
They Actinium!

[904827101]

good luck everyone on the finals!!!
This will be me for the entire 3 hours

[Brian Devlin 3B]

You know the song Broccoli by D.R.A.M....."All she wanna do is smoke de Broglie".....I'm sorry

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

What do dipoles say in passing? Do you have a moment?

[Joshua Song 2M]

Long live Lavelle

[Joshua Song 2M]

Harry have mercy, I forgot to post last week and I don't want to lose points :D

I love you Harry <3

[504809830_3F]

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

[504809830_3F]

A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents? The student replied: Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.

[504809830_3F]

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.

[504809830_3F]

What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse? HIO Ag!!!!

[Jonathan Marin Dis3A]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[YsabelCheang1H]

Just because it's almost Christmas break

[Daniel Namgoong 3I]

Why did the bear drown?
Cause it was polar!

[Stefanie Shidoosh 4E]

What did the cation say to the Chem 14A student the night before the final exam?

Stay positive!

[BlakeMillar4J]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
-To become a buffer solution!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[BlakeMillar4J]

"In the middle of the party, chick get off me
In the cut I'm rollin' up with De Broglie"

[BlakeMillar4J]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms? 2Na!

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

"What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?"
A one molar solution

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Science

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Q: what did the scientist say when he found two helium isotopes?
A: HeHe

[404805762]

A cation is an ion with a paws-itive charge.

[AnnaTong1E]

Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are riding in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am," Heisenberg replies.

The cop says, "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says, "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, [censored]!" shouts Schrodinger.

Fed up with their antics, the cop tries to arrest them.
Ohm resists.

[404805762]

Think like a proton: always positive!

[404805762]

Any jokes about sodium? Na

[404805762]

All the good chemistry jokes argon.

[Katelynn Luansing 2B]

Why did the nobel gas cry?
Because all his/her friends argon.

[Jorge_Escobar_3L]

So does having some BaNa₂ make more K or have I been lied to

[Raj Susarla 3I]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[Audrey Magsig 1E]

What is the name of 007's arctic cousin?


Polar bond

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Camille_Rousculp_3A]

just chemistry

[Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E]

Suffice it to say that we can call a carbon ring with iron atoms in place of the carbons as a Ferrous wheel?

Sorry for the transition metal pun, Cu in class today!

[Anthony Garibay 3J]

Chemistry Joke of the Day

[Josh_Zhong_1F]

What Is The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

A. CoFe2



LOLOLOLLLL..

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Hydrogen Argon Americium Beryllium

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

[Sascha_Clark_4I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

[JulieLy_3C]

My favorite elements during finals are chromium and yttrium. CrY

[Ishita_Dubey_2D]

What kind of fish is made out of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

[Ishita_Dubey_2D]

I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen...

But NaH.

[Alexandra_Cooper_4H]

http://www.chemistryjokes.com/images/lo ... uoride.jpg
I am worried that my final grades will look something like carbontetrafluoride... I hope no one else has this issue!

[Balint Nagy 3C]

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

Why can't people trust atoms?
Cause they make up everything!

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Abbeyj3I]

What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

[Abbeyj3I]

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

[NicholasKillmeier3K]

Finals

;)

[Katherine Sung 2I]

Titration is like dubstep, just drop the base. :)

[Kevin_Li_2F]

[Annalia_Ferrer_1F]

When you see an attractive person:

"I got my ion you."

[Alexma 3A]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Alexma 3A]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Alexma 3A]

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Alexma 3A]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

[Alexma 3A]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[Alexma 3A]

Q: What is an Organic chemistry students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

[Alexma 3A]

Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

[Alexma 3A]

Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next? NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA BATMAAAN!

[Alexma 3A]

Did you here about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

[Alexma 3A]

What is the cation afraid of? A dogion

[paulapedrani]

Hope everyone has a good (B)Boron (Re)Rhenium (A) (K) Potassium!!!

[Sally_Tu_1H]

What does the leader of the electron army say when they go to war?

CHAAARGE!

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: What did one titration tell the other?
A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

[Colleen_Clarke_4B]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[SaniShabgahi3N]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[Hao 1I]

Students fear O-chem so much because they go through alkynes of trouble.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

As fun as this page is, I only like chem jokes periodically.

Ba dum tss

congrats to everyone for finishing 14A!

[Sanjay_Kumar_2J]

"I would never try to poison you...
Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich"

[ginnyyao1L]

[Nick_Ida 1D]

What kind of fish is made of 2 NA atoms?
A two-NA ;)

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

[Aneri Chouhan]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Aneri Chouhan]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Aneri Chouhan]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Aneri Chouhan]

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

[Aaron_Trell_2J]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[FaithPigeon_1E]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

At least I have a degree.