Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Helen_Onuffer_1A]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Eman_Burney_1D]

1. Cation: an ion with a paws-itive charge

2. Chemistry puts the "cation" in education!

[Jenny2G]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Noor_Burney_1L]

All the good periodic table jokes argon?
I don't zinc so!

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

How many Chemistry references can you find?

As: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. I heard it went ok.
Be: Omg, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium!
As: Actually oxygen first tried asking nitrogen, but nitrogen said no.
Be: But what about the hydrogen twins? He seems to bond well with them.
As: Yeah, but when he tried going out with one of them, he thought she was too basic.
Be: Hey what happens if we set him up with that other oxygen you said you knew?
As: Good idea. I'm sure they would make a stable couple.
Be: But right now it seems like potassium is the element for him.
As: I wouldn't be so certain. Potassium always bursts into flames when she sees oxygen bonding with the hydrogen twins.
Be: So you're saying potassium and oxygen will soon dissociate?
As: Trust me, potassium will be back to being a lonely ion in no time.
Be: Are you sure?
As: Positive.

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

[Raj Susarla 3I]

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?

A: Never lick the spoon!

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Sylvester_Foley_3G]

Hello, does anyone know how to post in this Chemistry community. I want to post a question about the chemistry reading, but I can't find the button that says "create new post", or something to that extent. Please help.

Sylvester Foley

[Kelly Tran 3N]

[Jand474]

I don't trust atoms. I think they makeup everything!!!!

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q. Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on the 24th?







A. He was tense to the 23rd.

[Stephanie_Younan_3D]

Are you made up of Copper and Tellurium?

Because you're so CuTe!!!

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

:)

[JulieLy_3C]

Why does a photon only need one suitcase when travelling?
Because it's traveling light.

[chris2E]

Why was the non-metal kicked out of the orchestra?

It was a poor conductor!

[lorrainerowe_1K]

I was going to tell you a chemistry joke...
but I'm not because it was going to have a bad reaction.
LOL

[Morgan_McMasters_3A]

WARNING: Only Black Mirror viewers will understand.

when you're a solid piece of nitrogen and you get put into a room temperature environment and start to evaporate and die but then you remember Jennifer and Harry from Black Mirror and realize

[Timothy Yu 2M]

Why couldn't the angel pass from Container A to Container B?

Because there's a demon in the way

(Maxwell's Demon)

[Omar_Said_1G]

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

[Melissa Van Pell 2I]

On what charge was NaCl arrested?
A salt.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[AlexSun2L]

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!

[Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E]

Technically speaking, chemistry teaches us that alcohol is a solution... do with that information what you will.

[StevenBieneman_3K]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
- HeHe

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 15909 times

chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 15909 times

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

If Sodium and Neon were to have a conversation, it would go a little something like this:

Na: That Chemistry Community joke was Sodium funny!
Ne: I know! I really slapped my Neon that last one! Haha!

[Swati_Sharma_2D]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

Exothermic reactions?

I studied them before they were cool.

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

Cat Chemist Meme #1

[Karishma_Patel3E]

I don't trust atoms... i heard they make everything up

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

Why are chemists so great at solving problems?



Because they have all the solutions

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

I would make another chemistry joke... but all the good ones argon.

[a_jeny2E]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because it was a polar bear.

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

Ayyy girl, are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full <3

[wesley hardin]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

lol

[alvitaxiao]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[JonathanZhu3B]

Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0k.

[Dana_Tran_1L]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

[Maverick Tan 1F]

What is the formula for sea water?

A. CH2O

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Q: Does anyone know a good joke about sodium?

A: Na

[Ian Brown 1K]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-meen-o acid !!

[Rodri_Karla_1J]

I hope I don't sound too politically charged, but we need to neutralize all free radicals. They are a cancer to our society.

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

I used to be obsessed with chromatography now i realize it was just a phase :/

[Simran Brar 1J]

Q: What is the chemistry formula for Banana?

A: BaNa2

[JesusGarcia_2N]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number!

[Lillian_Lai_1K]

What's the formula for water?
HIJKLMNO
(H to O)

[Serena Patel 2H]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6X10^23 pieces?

Guacamole

[Lily_Dermendjian_2B]

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

[Andrew M 2J]

What do donuts, bread, and pasta all have in common?
They are rich in Calcium and Rubidium (CaRb)

[Britney Pheng 1L]

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

What's the difference in chemistry and cooking?

In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

All the good chemistry jokes argon. :/

[MichelleCarter_1F]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Zoe Robertson 2H]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
:/

[Kristen_Power_1C]

People think I'm obsessed with chemistry jokes,
Beryllium not.

[Affy_Hussain_3A]

I was feeling kind of hot so I set the thermostat to -273 degrees Celsius, and I think I'm 0 K now.

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What did one titration tell the other?

Let's meet at the endpoint.

[Kristina98]

It is well known that an optimist sees the glass half full while the pessimist sees it half empty. But what about a chemist? Simple, a chemist sees the glass completely full; half in liquid state and half in vapor state.

[Neha Nibber 3H]

I'm glad I'm done with 14A, I hated learning about electrons, I got so Bohr'd.

How many moles are in guacamole? Avocado's number!

[Samya Konda 2I]

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

[Ethan_Wilson_1E]

We asked someone sitting next to us if he had any sodium hypobromite, and he said "NaBrO"

[isabelle ruedisueli 1j]

So an element walks into a restaurant. The waiter says "hey this is a solids-only establishment" and the element remarks "I...uh...dine here."

[Tyler_Honrada_1L]

cation.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 15895 times

[veeksha25]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

Q: Why do chemist enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

[Ivanna_Tang_3B]

What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises?

It becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
Good nitrogen
Sleep tightrogen
Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

[Sanjay_Kumar_2J]

some jokes for y'all

[Alyssa Chan 3B]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Nikhita_Jaaswal_2H]

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[jillianduffield_2D]

What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.

[804748473]

I tell bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones argon...

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

[Chris_Rudewicz_3H]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Anna_Kim_2E]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

.

[Aneet_2A_]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Luigivar 2F]

Q: You wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide
A: NO

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

[melissapasao1B]

Q: What do you call a fish made up of two sodium atoms?


A: 2Na ;)

[Melanie Martinez 1K]

Q:What Is A Chemist’s Favorite Plant?
A:Stoichiome-Tree

[Evan Lee 2D]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?


A: They're cheaper than day rates.

[004583503_Lupe2E]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[msrivastava_]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

[lilyjustine_1G]

Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

[Austin Gee 2N]

Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Hannah Liu 2A]

http://f.tqn.com/y/chemistry/1/S/Z/O/2/ ... icexam.png

[Theresa_Trieu_2G]

[heather_carlton_1K]

Q: What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Uranium-238 and plutonium-239 walk into a bar. After having a few drinks they split. There were no survivors within a 23 block radius.

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]