Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
1. Cation: an ion with a paws-itive charge
2. Chemistry puts the "cation" in education!
2. Chemistry puts the "cation" in education!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.
A: He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How many Chemistry references can you find?
As: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. I heard it went ok.
Be: Omg, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium!
As: Actually oxygen first tried asking nitrogen, but nitrogen said no.
Be: But what about the hydrogen twins? He seems to bond well with them.
As: Yeah, but when he tried going out with one of them, he thought she was too basic.
Be: Hey what happens if we set him up with that other oxygen you said you knew?
As: Good idea. I'm sure they would make a stable couple.
Be: But right now it seems like potassium is the element for him.
As: I wouldn't be so certain. Potassium always bursts into flames when she sees oxygen bonding with the hydrogen twins.
Be: So you're saying potassium and oxygen will soon dissociate?
As: Trust me, potassium will be back to being a lonely ion in no time.
Be: Are you sure?
As: Positive.
As: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. I heard it went ok.
Be: Omg, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium!
As: Actually oxygen first tried asking nitrogen, but nitrogen said no.
Be: But what about the hydrogen twins? He seems to bond well with them.
As: Yeah, but when he tried going out with one of them, he thought she was too basic.
Be: Hey what happens if we set him up with that other oxygen you said you knew?
As: Good idea. I'm sure they would make a stable couple.
Be: But right now it seems like potassium is the element for him.
As: I wouldn't be so certain. Potassium always bursts into flames when she sees oxygen bonding with the hydrogen twins.
Be: So you're saying potassium and oxygen will soon dissociate?
As: Trust me, potassium will be back to being a lonely ion in no time.
Be: Are you sure?
As: Positive.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
A: Never lick the spoon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hello, does anyone know how to post in this Chemistry community. I want to post a question about the chemistry reading, but I can't find the button that says "create new post", or something to that extent. Please help.
Sylvester Foley
Sylvester Foley
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q. Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on the 24th?
A. He was tense to the 23rd.
A. He was tense to the 23rd.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a photon only need one suitcase when travelling?
Because it's traveling light.
Because it's traveling light.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the non-metal kicked out of the orchestra?
It was a poor conductor!
It was a poor conductor!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was going to tell you a chemistry joke...
but I'm not because it was going to have a bad reaction.
LOL
but I'm not because it was going to have a bad reaction.
LOL
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
WARNING: Only Black Mirror viewers will understand.
when you're a solid piece of nitrogen and you get put into a room temperature environment and start to evaporate and die but then you remember Jennifer and Harry from Black Mirror and realize
when you're a solid piece of nitrogen and you get put into a room temperature environment and start to evaporate and die but then you remember Jennifer and Harry from Black Mirror and realize
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why couldn't the angel pass from Container A to Container B?
Because there's a demon in the way
(Maxwell's Demon)
Because there's a demon in the way
(Maxwell's Demon)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Technically speaking, chemistry teaches us that alcohol is a solution... do with that information what you will.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
- HeHe
- HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If Sodium and Neon were to have a conversation, it would go a little something like this:
Na: That Chemistry Community joke was Sodium funny!
Ne: I know! I really slapped my Neon that last one! Haha!
Na: That Chemistry Community joke was Sodium funny!
Ne: I know! I really slapped my Neon that last one! Haha!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Because they have all the solutions
Because they have all the solutions
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would make another chemistry joke... but all the good ones argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Ayyy girl, are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full <3
Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full <3
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
lol
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
lol
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0k.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I hope I don't sound too politically charged, but we need to neutralize all free radicals. They are a cancer to our society.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I used to be obsessed with chromatography now i realize it was just a phase :/
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number!
Because he got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6X10^23 pieces?
Guacamole
Guacamole
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do donuts, bread, and pasta all have in common?
They are rich in Calcium and Rubidium (CaRb)
They are rich in Calcium and Rubidium (CaRb)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the difference in chemistry and cooking?
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
:/
:/
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was feeling kind of hot so I set the thermostat to -273 degrees Celsius, and I think I'm 0 K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
It is well known that an optimist sees the glass half full while the pessimist sees it half empty. But what about a chemist? Simple, a chemist sees the glass completely full; half in liquid state and half in vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm glad I'm done with 14A, I hated learning about electrons, I got so Bohr'd.
How many moles are in guacamole? Avocado's number!
How many moles are in guacamole? Avocado's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
We asked someone sitting next to us if he had any sodium hypobromite, and he said "NaBrO"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So an element walks into a restaurant. The waiter says "hey this is a solids-only establishment" and the element remarks "I...uh...dine here."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemist enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff
A: It's pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff
A: It's pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises?
It becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
Good nitrogen
Sleep tightrogen
Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen
It becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
Good nitrogen
Sleep tightrogen
Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.
A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait
I'll wait
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
lilyjustine wrote:Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Uranium-238 and plutonium-239 walk into a bar. After having a few drinks they split. There were no survivors within a 23 block radius.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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