Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a bar...
First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died
First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. (H2O)
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. (H2O)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Austin Gee 2N wrote:lilyjustine wrote:Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait
Name a more ionic duo...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Check this out
Hilarious
Hilarious
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the difference between a scientist and a worker?
Their pronunciation of unionized.
Their pronunciation of unionized.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you sulfur, oxygen, copper, and tellurium?
Because you are SO CuTe.
Because you are SO CuTe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are chemists bad at telling jokes?
A: They lack the element of surprise
A: They lack the element of surprise
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard about the chemist who was reading the book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How do scientists pronounce crayon?
A: Carbon, Radium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Nitrogen
A: Carbon, Radium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Nitrogen
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.
A: CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a joke I thought was kind of funny
Q: What is a chemist's favorite tree?
A: Stoichiome-tree
Q: What is a chemist's favorite tree?
A: Stoichiome-tree
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
For what crime was the enthalpy pirate arrested?
stealing joules
*cue sympathy laughter
stealing joules
*cue sympathy laughter
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like "O MG"
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like "O MG"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here from Adam Perez Discussion 1L
A block of dry ice was sitting on a table and begins to turn into carbon dioxide gas. After a while, the block is gone and a cloud of CO2 is floating around. A nearby oxygen cloud asks, “Hey, I just saw you go through a phase change…how was it?”
The CO2 cloud replies, “It was sublime!”
The CO2 cloud replies, “It was sublime!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A: A KNiFe.
A: A KNiFe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Love is in the air. Wrong; Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry has taught us that pressure and volume are inversely related to each other with everything else held constant. In other words, when pressure increases, volume decreases. Yet whenever I am under extreme pressure, my volume always ends up increasing as well. Guess the laws of chemistry don't apply to the phenomenon known as stress eating before finals.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the molecule say during the baseball game?
A: "Keep your i-on the ball!"
A: "Keep your i-on the ball!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!
A ferrous wheel!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.
A: Because it was polar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Because it's basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heat: Wanna hang out?
Internal Energy of the system: I can't, I have work.
Internal Energy of the system: I can't, I have work.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice
H2O cubed.
H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG
A: SWAG
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG
8-)
A: SWAG
8-)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If I were an endothermic chemical reaction at equilibrium, you would push me to the right because you are hot:)
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