Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[StephZou_2G]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you

[ben maryamian]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they'd be alloys.

[Libbyfidel_1E]

Two men walk into a bar...

First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. (H2O)

[Odel Zadeh_2C]

Did you hear that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

[yubin moon 3c]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[Ashley T 2H]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

[Janet Pham 1B]

This might be too cheesy...

[Eljie_2F]

Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

Name a more ionic duo...

CsF.jpeg (6.49 KiB) Viewed 23384 times

[Jinghui Song 2J]

Check this out
Hilarious

[Jaret Nishikawa]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[Alex Phu 2c]

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

[SarahTian3k]

What's the difference between a scientist and a worker?
Their pronunciation of unionized.

[004599434]

Do you have 11 protons?
Because you're sodium fine.

[msrivastava_]

Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium?
A: Na

[Ting Zheng 3L]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says "AU, get outta here!"

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

[Jorge_Escobar_3L]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Anjum Farook 2O]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

[Park_DoHy_2F]

A noble joke

Reactivity of Neon

[sheilaho_1E]

Are you sulfur, oxygen, copper, and tellurium?

Because you are SO CuTe.

[Tanner Baroni 3I]

Q: Why are chemists bad at telling jokes?
A: They lack the element of surprise

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Have you heard about the chemist who was reading the book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

Entropy isn't what it used to be. :(

[StevenBieneman_3K]

Q: How do scientists pronounce crayon?
A: Carbon, Radium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Nitrogen

[Iris Feng 2I]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

[rachel_john]

Here's a joke I thought was kind of funny

Q: What is a chemist's favorite tree?

A: Stoichiome-tree

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

For what crime was the enthalpy pirate arrested?

stealing joules

*cue sympathy laughter

[Jane Sin 3A]

[Jason_Hong_2J]

What's the matter?

Gas, Liquid, Solid, or Plasma

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

Señor, is Silicon spelled the same way in Spanish?
"Si."

[Noor_Chahal_3G]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

2Na

[Noor_Chahal_3G]

What do you get when 6.02x10²³ mosquitoes bite you?

Molearia

[Jessica_Chang_1G]

What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like "O MG"

[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

Anyone know any good sodium jokes?

Na

[Ivy Kwok 2I]

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

You're a unit of power Harry.

I'm a watt?

[Maverick Tan 1F]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?

A: Because all his friends argon.

[K Phelan 3D]

You got any sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO

[Joanne_Park_4C]

[YsabelCheang1H]

Exothermic reactions?
I studied them before they were cool.

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Amanda Salgado 3D]

I don't trust atoms.....



I heard they make up everything.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

What did one ion say to the other?

I got my ion you

[Adam Perez]

A block of dry ice was sitting on a table and begins to turn into carbon dioxide gas. After a while, the block is gone and a cloud of CO2 is floating around. A nearby oxygen cloud asks, “Hey, I just saw you go through a phase change…how was it?”
The CO2 cloud replies, “It was sublime!”

[Tania_Torres_3O]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Jenny2G]

When do chemists tell jokes?
Periodically.

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A: A KNiFe.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
A: BaNaNa!

[Matthew_Vargas_2G]

[Helena Vervaet 1N]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

[KoSiOg]

Never Trust an Atom.... They Make Up Everything

[arsalzaheer2L]

What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint!

[Sascha_Clark_4I]

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

[Michelle Lin 3M]

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2Na.

[AngelaWang_1F]

Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

[Brandon Han 3H]

Do you have any sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

what's the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2! :D

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[divya_devineni_2E]

A cation is an ion with a paws-itive charge

[divya_devineni_2E]

The name's bond...Hydrogen bond.

[divya_devineni_2E]

Love is in the air. Wrong; Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

Wanna hear a joke about nitric oxide?

NO

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

Chemistry has taught us that pressure and volume are inversely related to each other with everything else held constant. In other words, when pressure increases, volume decreases. Yet whenever I am under extreme pressure, my volume always ends up increasing as well. Guess the laws of chemistry don't apply to the phenomenon known as stress eating before finals.

[Alice Jung 1C]

What do cows study in college?
Creamistry

[jillianduffield_2D]

Exothermic reactions? I studied them before they were cool.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Technically, alcohol is a solution.

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

Lol

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

[Diana_Anum1G]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion!!

[Anika_Desar_3N]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

What did the molecule say during the baseball game?
A: "Keep your i-on the ball!"

[JesusGarcia_2N]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!

[HarshiniMuthukumar3N]

Yo' Mamma So Ugly
Not Even Fluorine Would Bond With Her!

[Sascha_Clark_4I]

Q: Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Aldehyde

[Ting Zheng 3L]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.

[Hung_Sabrina_3N]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Why can you never trust atoms?

A: They make up everything!

[Shelley Pi 1K]

“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Emily_Bennett_3C]

I don't trust atoms, they make up everything

Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion

[Nikola_Stojcic_3O]

Heat: Wanna hang out?
Internal Energy of the system: I can't, I have work.

[kgiesch1N]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice

H2O cubed.

[JulieLy_3C]

Where do the elements go on their first date?
The ferrous wheel.

[Diana_Visco_1l]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

[Imani Johnson 1H]

If Fe= Iron....then does,
Female= Iron Man?

[Jane Sin 3A]

Im out of chemistry jokes.. I should zinc of a new one :)

[Anisha Patel 1G]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[Brandon_Williams_3E]

Q: What kind of fish can you count on for sodium?
A: 2-Na

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

What was the charge on NaCl when it was arrested?

A salt

[deantuazon2G]

What do you do to a dead chemist?
You Barium

[Balint Nagy 3C]

I don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together? OMg

[Jennifer Ngo 1M]

What did the chemist say when he found two helium atoms?

HeHe

[Melissa Van Pell 2I]

How many moles are in a guacamole?
Avocado's number.

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

[Zoe Robertson 2H]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

A: SWAG

8-)

[Brandon_Goenawan2O]

If I were an endothermic chemical reaction at equilibrium, you would push me to the right because you are hot:)