Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[JoAnna Yortiss 2G]

*Final Exam*
Write the first and second Laws of Thermodynamics:

First rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.

Second rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Rory_Grant_3E]

Seeing as how we're now learning about entropy...

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Here's a joke:

Question: Why don't you trust atoms?

Answer: Because they made up everything?

[Toby Lin 1J]

[SydneyKusumoputro_3K]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution!!

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Helium Yttrium Selenium Xenon

[Timothy Yu 2M]

I was late to my lab one morning only to find the room locked and the lights out. On the door was a sign that says "Lab closed, Gone Fission"

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[AnnaTong1E]

ha... haha.. ha

[Natalie Hunt 1E]

Every dipole has its moment.

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Got more problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

What did the proton say to the grumpy electron?
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?"

[ChiragThadaniDis2M]

Here's another one-

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[Jand474]

Silver walks up to gold and says "AU! GET OUT OF HERE"

[TramHo2G]

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met

[Neha Nibber 3H]

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon!

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

What happens when electrons lose their energy?
They get Bohr'ed.

[saminah_adam]

What kind of charge does a cation have? A paws-itive one!

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

You know what're cool?

Things with low molecular energy. B-)

[Kit Potter]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na!

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

Organic chemistry is so hard, people who take the course go through alkynes of trouble.

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

[Annie_Amundson_1L]

Q: What did the sheep say after eating some barium?

A: Ba :)

[Evan Lee 2D]

Q:What kinds of dogs do chemists have?

A:Laboratory Retrievers

[melissasandoval2O]

Why is a hot bracelet more valuable than a cold bracelet? Because it has more joules.

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.

[Gabriela_2E]

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

I love all the jokes on Chemistry Community, but I sometimes worry that my jokes aren't going to yield the reaction that I desire;) Get it? HAHA

[Kevin Bangi 1A]

What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ and no end

[christy_zambrano_2E]

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
:0

[Melody Li 2L]

The Pope calls a conference at the Vatican. 6.022 x 10^23 priests attend. The name of the conference was named "Holy Mole-y."

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Martin_Sarafyan_2K]

What did the assassin give his victim to eat?
A Pb and jelly sandwich

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

[KylaTenido1G]

I think I lost an electron-- I’d better keep an ion that!

Also, check out this periodic table:

[Abigail_Low_1A]

What kind of bear can dissolve in water? A polar bear!

[Andy Chen 3L]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Kimberly_Hernandez_3L]

What kind of dogs do chemist have? Laboratory retrievers

[Laila Stedman 3G]

Atom: I’d like to report a missing electron.
Policeman: Are you sure?
Atom: Yes, I’m positive!

[Grace 3G]

Chemistry puts the "cation" in education ;)

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Serena Patel 2H]

Parents: Why don't you clean your room?

Me: In an isolated system, entropy can only increase.

[David Julfayan 1F]

[Mindy Zhang 3F]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe!

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

Entropy...

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

What is the chemical form for Coffee?
CoFe2

Um- The atomic symbol for confusion

My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg

[gingy 1K]

accurate

[LeontyneHenderson2E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Annie Tagvoryan 3A]

I tried

[leilarishwain_3H]

Hey Dr. Lavelle, do you like to drop the base?

[swatiperepa]

The pickup lines are always the best

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q: How does Nitric Oxide respond when asked out on a date?
A: NO

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q: What's the most irritating thing that someone can send you thru text?
A: Potassium(K)

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

What did the ice cube say to the cup of water?

...I was water before it was cool.

[Drishti_Jain_1D]

What did the policeman say to the atom?

I've got my ion you!

[Rodri_Karla_1J]

When hydrogen was arrested, the police told him he could make one call.

He replied, "Call who?! I don't have a family."

[Toshio_Kanazawa_3B]

Motivation: The Chemist Edition

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

[JosephLew3C]

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel

[Melanie Martinez 1K]

I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date!
OMg

[John Ly 2I]

Did ya'll hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? :o

He's 0K now.

[Dana_Tran_1L]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff!

[Jared Gao 3G]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Simran Brar 1J]

First law of thermodynamics:

You do not talk about thermodynamics

[Brian_Mena_1J]

Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high voltage plates before entering the workplace.


Because he didn’t want any unionized workers.

[alvarado_natalie_2H]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Tyler_Honrada_1L]

IMG_6611.JPG (19.73 KiB) Viewed 16806 times

[Krista Yang 1C]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

Q:What element is a girl's future best friend?
A:Carbon

[Samart_Condon_1D]

If you cant He or Cm then you gotta Ba

[Yiling Liu 1N]

Can I survive chemistry this quarter?

Yes I chem.

[Ivanna_Tang_3B]

[Jason Duong 1D]

I would never try to poison you...now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

[paulapedrani]

Why do white bears dissolve in water?
Because they're polar

[Grace Pu 3E]

What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?

HeHe!

[marinarosebrock]

He will steal all your joules....

IMG_1960.JPG (39.33 KiB) Viewed 16803 times

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

So a chemistry teacher is talking about the model of the atom and all the kids are falling asleep. One student then tells the teacher, "Don't be such a Bohr!" and returns to his nap.

[Adam Wojnar 1K]

POlar.jpg (21.13 KiB) Viewed 16803 times

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

I don't think of myself as fat. I prefer to say that I have more potential energy than those around me.

[a_jeny2E]

Dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

[maria_tamondong_1L]

I have a lot of chemistry jokes, but I am scared they they would not get a good REACTION. LOL

[Karishma_Patel3E]

You always gotta keep an ion chemists!

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q: Do You Have Any Sodium Hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

[Jaz_Y_1H]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

“Bunsen! My flame! <3 I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

P.S. I don't know why I was not allowed to access Chemistry Community this weekend.

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

I would never try to poison you!

Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

[Katie_Ho_1M]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?


A silicon.

[Julianne Seog 3K]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

"Mom, you can't fight the 2nd law of thermodynamics! All things, which includes bedrooms, move from a state of order to disorder."

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

...

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

If a King farts is it a Noble Gas?

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

Here's a good chemistry joke!

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? If not, it's fine, he's 0K now.

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

[Janet Pham 1B]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.

[Odel Zadeh_2C]

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

[Noor_Chahal_3G]

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A CaNiNe