Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*Final Exam*
Write the first and second Laws of Thermodynamics:
First rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.
Second rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.
Write the first and second Laws of Thermodynamics:
First rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.
Second rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)
A: A CaNiNe
Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a joke:
Question: Why don't you trust atoms?
Answer: Because they made up everything?
Question: Why don't you trust atoms?
Answer: Because they made up everything?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution!!
A: A one molar solution!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was late to my lab one morning only to find the room locked and the lights out. On the door was a sign that says "Lab closed, Gone Fission"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
ha... haha.. ha
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Every dipole has its moment.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Got more problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Got more problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the proton say to the grumpy electron?
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?"
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's another one-
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K
Organic chemistry is so hard, people who take the course go through alkynes of trouble.
Organic chemistry is so hard, people who take the course go through alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why is a hot bracelet more valuable than a cold bracelet? Because it has more joules.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
By subsisting on titrations.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I love all the jokes on Chemistry Community, but I sometimes worry that my jokes aren't going to yield the reaction that I desire;) Get it? HAHA
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ and no end
A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ and no end
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
:0
:0
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The Pope calls a conference at the Vatican. 6.022 x 10^23 priests attend. The name of the conference was named "Holy Mole-y."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the assassin give his victim to eat?
A Pb and jelly sandwich
A Pb and jelly sandwich
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I think I lost an electron-- I’d better keep an ion that!
Also, check out this periodic table:
Also, check out this periodic table:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Atom: I’d like to report a missing electron.
Policeman: Are you sure?
Atom: Yes, I’m positive!
Policeman: Are you sure?
Atom: Yes, I’m positive!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Parents: Why don't you clean your room?
Me: In an isolated system, entropy can only increase.
Me: In an isolated system, entropy can only increase.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe!
HeHe!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the chemical form for Coffee?
CoFe2
Um- The atomic symbol for confusion
My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg
CoFe2
Um- The atomic symbol for confusion
My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's the most irritating thing that someone can send you thru text?
A: Potassium(K)
A: Potassium(K)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the ice cube say to the cup of water?
...I was water before it was cool.
...I was water before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When hydrogen was arrested, the police told him he could make one call.
He replied, "Call who?! I don't have a family."
He replied, "Call who?! I don't have a family."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Motivation: The Chemist Edition
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did ya'll hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? :o
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff!
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high voltage plates before entering the workplace.
Because he didn’t want any unionized workers.
Because he didn’t want any unionized workers.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would never try to poison you...now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?
HeHe!
HeHe!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So a chemistry teacher is talking about the model of the atom and all the kids are falling asleep. One student then tells the teacher, "Don't be such a Bohr!" and returns to his nap.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I don't think of myself as fat. I prefer to say that I have more potential energy than those around me.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have a lot of chemistry jokes, but I am scared they they would not get a good REACTION. LOL
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na
“Bunsen! My flame! <3 I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
P.S. I don't know why I was not allowed to access Chemistry Community this weekend.
A: 2 Na
“Bunsen! My flame! <3 I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
P.S. I don't know why I was not allowed to access Chemistry Community this weekend.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would never try to poison you!
Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Mom, you can't fight the 2nd law of thermodynamics! All things, which includes bedrooms, move from a state of order to disorder."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a good chemistry joke!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? If not, it's fine, he's 0K now.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? If not, it's fine, he's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.
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