Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[004599434]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
I heard it went OK.

[Julianne_Zingmond_1E]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

[angelikape3k]

Where do you go to meet your soulmate?

.
.
.
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CHEMISTRY CLASS!!!!!! :D

[Carolyn Huh 1K]

Anyone know any good jokes on sodium?

Na!

[Carolyn Huh 1K]

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Celine_Ngo_3L]

If there is H₂O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K₉P

[rachel_john]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[DhirajR_3F]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[Arielle 1I]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they'd be alloys. *ba dum tssss*

[Rishi_Kayathi_1E]

A pessimist sees a glass half empty, an optimist sees a glass half full, but a chemist sees a glass half filled with H2O.

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers!

[Sharlene Reyes 2N]

What did Chlorine say to the other molecule?

Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine and if we bonded it'd be ionic
;)

[Kristine_Espinosa_2L]

How many moles are in Guacamole?

Avocado's Number!

[yubin moon 3c]

Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?

Because she was too attractive!

[Julia_Wenzel_1E]

Love is in the air?

Wrong. Nitorgen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide are in the air.

[Libbyfidel_1E]

Person 1: Do you understand chemistry?
Person 2: No
Person 1: Don't you mean Na? ;)
Person 2: No, I legit do not understand chemistry.

*this is an accurate representation on my life*
*sad reacts only*

[Gigi Ye 2K]

Once I told a chemistry joke, there was no reaction.

[Ashley T 2H]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Jessica_Chang_1G]

What show does cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe

[Jason_Hong_2J]

Did you hear about the man who's temperature dropped down to absolute zero?

Don't worry though, he's 0K.

[Alex Phu 2c]

Chem students do it on the table periodically

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

A: CoFe2

[Lindsey Lill]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

[Hung_Sabrina_3N]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:

[ben maryamian]

“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

“A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Morgan_McMasters_3A]

Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium broke up?
I know! I was like "O Mg"!

[Vanessa_Nguyen_1I]

If you have a problem, just dissolve it in water and you'll have a solution!

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Franklin Kong 3D]

What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion!

[Franklin Kong 3D]

It's always good to have a positive attitude instead of having an electron cloud hanging around your head.

[msrivastava_]

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium went on a date? I mean... OMG !!

[Jeana Wei 3C]

How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

What do you do to a dead chemist?
You Barium.

[StephZou_2G]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Chris Liddicoat]

I have many chemistry jokes...I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction :)

[Matthew_Vargas_2G]

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!

[Jane Sin 3A]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed

[Brandon Han 3H]

A photon checked into a hotel and was asked if he needed help with his bags.
He said "No, I'm traveling light."

[Hannah Liu 2A]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution!

[sheilaho_1E]

Do you have any sodium hypobromite?

NaHBrO

[Kendall_Islam_3A]

Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?

[Dana_Tran_1L]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O!!!!

[Lillian_Lai_1K]

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[RitaChang_2C]

How often do you like jokes about elements?

Periodically.

[Iris Feng 2I]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Joanne_Park_4C]

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

Optimist: sees glass half full
Pessimist: sees glass half empty
Chemist: sees glass entirely full; half in liquid state, half in vapor state

[veeksha25]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[JonathanZhu3B]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[JonathanZhu3B]

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Not to be technical, but alcohol is a solution

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[304779711]

I learned about exothermic reactions in high school... they were really cool... (BA DUM TSSSS
!)

[SarahTian3k]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.

[Alex Phu 2c]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[David Julfayan 1F]

How I feel before studying.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.

[Amber_Candelaria_1D]

[Chem_Mod]

https://lavelle.chem.ucla.edu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=131&t=18227&p=48771

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon. :/

[YsabelCheang1H]

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O

[AllanNicholson2F]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q: How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?

A: A sulfone

[AngelaWang_1F]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

I need a relationship as strong as an ionic bond.

[Jenny2G]

[saminah_adam]

Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na.

[Irene Ramos 1F]

A guy smashes dimonds I guess you could say he kilo joules!

[Aya_Elarid_2H]

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Anika_Desar_3N]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

A: SWAG

[Julia_Gordon_2A]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Paul Sedaros 1B]

I asked the person that was sitting next to me if I could borrow some of their Sodium Hypobromite....he said NaBrO!

[Kevin Le 1L]

Get yourself a friend who is down to hang out with positive entropy haha haha get it, like someone who likes to hang out spontaneously haha

[megan_thi_2j]

[Diana_Anum1G]

Friend: Hey did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

Me: Yeah I heard it went OK.

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Tanner Baroni 3I]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Alexia_Vanegas_1G]

Do I know any jokes about sodium?

... Na

[Natalie_Boyd_1C]

20150119_195957_.jpg (19.33 KiB) Viewed 39192 times

[SydneyKusumoputro_3K]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything!

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak does?
Because it's in the ground state!

[Shelley Pi 1K]

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

diene: "Help! Save me, I'm diene!"
triene: "I'm triene!"

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

What am I doing with element 83?
A: None of your Bismuth.

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Question- Did you hear about the date between potassium and oxygen?


Answer- It went O.K.

[Precious_Li_1D]

Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?


A: Because she was too attractive

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[HarshiniMuthukumar3N]

[Adam Perez]

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na