Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Annie Tagvoryan 3A]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Think about it!!!

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

[Emi Nakahara 3F]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Victoria Vu 3L]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with H₂O and half with O₂.

[Amanda_Ye_1G]

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Johnny was a scientist
Now Johnny is no more
For what Johnny thought was
Was

[Rory_Grant_3E]

This joke is sodium funny!

[rachel_john]

You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

I'm all out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.

[Reem Abu-Shamma 2H]

[Simran Brar 1J]

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[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H20.
The other says, "I'll have H20 too."

The second man dies.

[Madison Juul 1D]

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

[SydneyKusumoputro_3K]

The bell hop asks him “ Can I help you with your luggage?”
To which the photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”

[Deanna_Nguyen_3L]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well the minute they met!

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Jared Gao 3G]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[Grace Pu 3E]

I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.
He said, “Si.”

[Toby Lin 1J]

[helen_bui_2G]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Dana_Tran_1L]

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A chemistree!!

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

[Trisha Kurup 2A]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Samart_Condon_1D]

Time to start making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Cerjay_Lugtu_3B]

How did oxygen's second date with potassium go?
It went OK2

[JulieLy_3C]

What element is derived from a Norse deity?
Thorium.

[N Jew 2E]

since valentine's day is coming up...

[Ryan Petrecca 1L]

hehe XD

[Frank_Smith_3L]

I love chem, it makes me laugh!

[Tina_Keshishian_2F]

Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went "OK".

[Desiree Martin 2A]

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[Khang_Tran_1O]

[Tyler_Ash_3C]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He replies, "no, I'm travelling light."

[Elle_Bertuccelli_1B]

[Elle_Bertuccelli_1B]

I'm always in my element...unless I'm in chemistry class.

[Cinthia_Ramirez_3B]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[sboutros2B]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[Madison_Moore_1I]

What's Avagadro's favourite animal?

A mole!

[Annie_Amundson_1L]

Q: Which is the most relaxing element to drink?

A: Te (tellurium)

[Arielle 1I]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[Anmol Dhaliwal 2C]

Q: What did the cell need when it was dying and could not breathe?

A: Cellular respiration!

[arsalzaheer2L]

How about the chemical workers? Are they unionized?

[Jessica Chern 1H]

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Au revoir!

[Jackyboy 1C]

Did you hear about the book on antigravity? Because I can't put it down.

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Did you hear about the fight between potassium and oxygen?

A: It was a K.O

[Aileen Nguyen 3N]

Enjoy!

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

A: It's pretty basic stuff.

[Harmeet_Kaur_2D]

Since Valentine's Day is coming up... Here's a chemistry pick-up line:

You are such a perfect arrangement of atoms.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

[Mikaela Gareeb 3G]

An optimist sees the glass half-full and a pessimist sees the glass-half empty, but the chemist sees the glass half-filled with liquid and half-filled with gas... unless the system is in a vacuum.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

So I tried telling my north campus friends a chemistry joke,

Unfortunately I got no reaction.

[Delour Haj 3J]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

[604805638]

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

What did one titration tell the other?

Let's meet at the endpoint.

[Rachel_Bressler_3I]

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner and said "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you". The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

[julia lai 3A]

What is the difference between sea lion and a seal? An electron.

[HarshiniMuthukumar3N]

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

You can freeze yourself at -273.15C and still be 0K

[Rachel Kipp 1I]

Happy Week 5!

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[Lexy Swenson 1F]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a politician? Ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Have you heard the one about the girl with the initials P B? She was easily mislead

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

A: Did you hear? Copper just stole a bunch of electrons from Zinc!

B: That's absolutely shocking! I was positive they would get along too!

A: Oh well. Hope they find a solution to this dilemma soon.

B: I do too, but something tells me that no amount of salt can bridge this relationship. I'd say that their friendship is as good as dissolved.

[Krista Yang 1C]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution.

[gingy 1K]

my favorite

[a_jeny2E]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I am just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Yeon Hee Park 3M]

I would be like..

[wesley hardin]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon. lol

[John Ly 2I]

I love chemistry jokes hahaha and this is cute.
(also a way to remember what cations are :D)

[Gabriela_2E]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL]

LOST AN ELECTRON....YOU REALLY HAVE TO KEEP AN ION THEM.

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

[Gonzalez_Liliana_1K]

First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

I'm not sure if the image is visible in my previous post, but it says

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

Because it is basic material.

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?
Because it was charged with battery

[Chelsey_Schaum1H]

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

[Jason Duong 1D]

Q: Why do white bears dissolve in water?

A: Because they are polar.

[Andrew M 2J]

Which elements are always surprise each other?
Oxygen and Magnesium, OMg!

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

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[Anisha Patel 1G]

If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into water, which one will dissolve faster?

The one in Alaska, because it's polar.

[melissasandoval2O]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

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[Esteban Espinoza]

[giareyes_2B]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Luigivar 2F]

If the Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up, they would be ALLOYS!!!

[Adam Wojnar 1K]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I have many degrees."

[Rodri_Karla_1J]

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you," said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

[Daniel-1G]

what element is a woman's best friend?

Carbon.

[Felicia Zhang 2J]

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

A piece of ice fell in love with a Bunsen burner...

"Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!" , said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.


If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

Flirting...

[Sophie_Ahmad_2F]

Did you hear about the guy whose temperature got down to absolute zero?
Don't worry, he's 0 K.

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[Chris Yeh 3D]

Q: What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

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[Tara_Hekmati_3B]

Working in an electrochemistry lab seems to show great potential.